You know shit is bad when Neil Patrick Harris is snarking out on you. Because that’s exactly what happened: Neil Patrick Harris appeared on The Talk to discuss Christina‘s performance at Etta James’ funeral, and though the vocals themselves weren’t mulled over (thank God, because I was one of those who thought her rendition of ‘At Last’ was horrible and over the top and way inappropriate for a funeral), the “dark fluid” trickling down one leg was. I mean, even if Christina had knocked the performance out of the park, it’d still be all about whatever was dripping from somewhere above.
“I was watching backstage. I was hoping it was runs in her stockings,” Neil said, but I laughed because Christina Aguilera doesn’t wear bras to funerals, let along stockings, jeez. He continued by laughing, “And I was dry-heaving as I was watching it backstage.” Neil, dude, we all were. “It’s awful,” he said. “Could it not have been clear? It would have been so much easier to explain!” Oh, God, ew. Clear what, friend? First of all, menstruation is never clear, if it was self-tanner and sweat, it would also not be clear, and the only other fluids that are clear are just as disgusting to consider.
The rest of the clip depicts Neil and the ladies dry-heaving into their coffee cups.
So, of course. Being the crass bitch that I am, what was it making a slimy, viscous trail down Christina’s leg?