Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Did You Guys Watch Kourtney and Kim Take New York Last Night?

A photo of Kim Kardashian

Because it was so good. Kim spent the entire episode going back and forth between bawling her eyes out and being a total bitch. It was a wild and crazy adventure, and if you love to trash talk the Kardashians, then it was something you must see.

If you didn’t see it though, it’s not a big deal. Not only did I watch it, but I watched and took notes so I could go over some of the highlights from the episode with you guys. Are you ready for this?

If you haven’t been watching, last night’s episode was the second part of the season finale. In the first part, which aired last Sunday, Kim met with psychic John Edward to try and get in touch with her deceased father. Both Kris (her husband, not her mom) and Kourtney were against this for religious reasons, but Kourtney ended up sitting in on the meeting. John Edward made both Kardashians cry by bringing up memories of their dad, but then he asked Kim if she was divorced. When Kim said that she had gotten a divorce, but that she was currently married again, John kept asking her, for her father, “did you learn from what this is?” And then Kim had a little break down. And now that we’re caught up, let’s jump into a recap of last night, shall we?

Kim tells Kourtney that she was crying so hard after the meeting with the psychic because “when he was talking about like, like the divorce stuff,” it made her realize that she’s not happy in her marriage. She says “I honestly feel like I can’t do this anymore with Kris.” Kourtney suggests that maybe she should give it time, maybe they should go home and actually live together like a married couple and not with another couple in a suite in a hotel. Kim insists that she can’t do it anymore.

Then Kim and Kris have a talk and discuss their issues. They agree that they need to spend more time together than they had been, and that during their last few days in New York, they should hang out and have fun. At one point, Kim says to Kris “I don’t know, sometimes I just feel so like dead inside.” Great sign, right?

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Cynthia Nixon Is Still Talking

A photo of Cynthia Nixon

I have a problem with words, and I know that. Words have the ability to bother me a lot more than they should. Like when people use phrases like “I grilled him for answers,” that bugs the hell out of me. I’m always like, “shut up, you didn’t grill anyone, what is wrong with you? Why would you think cooking someone would make him want to talk to you?” Another thing is when people say things like “ugh, she’s being so bipolar right now,” have you heard anything like that? I think a more common one is that same thing, but with OCD. Being on your period doesn’t make you bipolar anymore than having a knack for organization makes you obsessive compulsive. Do you see what I’m getting at?

I think that’s why all these remarks that Cynthia Nixon has been making about being gay have bothered me so much. She’s been using the wrong words, and it doesn’t make sense to me.

In her continued campaign to drive me crazy, Cynthia has made a statement to the Advocate in which she discusses her original comments in the New York Times about choosing to be gay:

“My recent comments in The New York Times were about me and my personal story of being gay. I believe we all have different ways we came to the gay community and we can’t and shouldn’t be pigeon-holed into one cultural narrative which can be uninclusive and disempowering. However, to the extent that anyone wishes to interpret my words in a strictly legal context I would like to clarify:

“While I don’t often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have ‘chosen’ is to be in a gay relationship.

“As I said in the Times and will say again here, I do, however, believe that most members of our community — as well as the majority of heterosexuals — cannot and do not choose the gender of the persons with whom they seek to have intimate relationships because, unlike me, they are only attracted to one sex.

“Our community is not a monolith, thank goodness, any more than America itself is. I look forward to and will continue to work toward the day when America recognizes all of us as full and equal citizens.”

Ok, one last time: there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to men and women, or strictly men, or strictly women. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to men and then meeting a woman and finding that something just clicks with her. There is nothing wrong with any of this, but there are words for all of this.

I’m glad that Cynthia Nixon is happy and in love, just like I’m glad that anyone is happy and in love. But please just stop driving everyone crazy with these statements, all right?

Did Cocaine Break Up Katy Perry and Russell Brand?

A photo of Katy Perry

I’m going to be real right quick: I kind of hate Katy Perry, so whenever I hear anything about her divorce from Russell Brand, I automatically go into the mindset of “ugh, Katy Perry, what a bitch.” I can’t help it. In my eyes, Russell is a darling angel and Katy Perry is the devil. Do you hear me? She is the devil. So when you read this report about how Katy and Russell broke up because of Katy’s involvement with cocaine, I want you to make your own decisions, because I can’t be impartial here.

From Star via Celebitchy:

Russell Brand may be the recovering addict, but it’s Katy Perry’s exposure to hard drugs and all-night partying that doomed their marriage. Amid reports of cheating, fighting and a fading romance, Star has discovered the shocking reason that [the couple] split a little more than a year after their wedding in India.

Russell, a recovering drug addict, “hit the roof,” says a source, when he found out exactly what was going on in Hawaii. “Katy runs with a really wild crowd,” an insider tells Star. Some of her acquaintances love to do cocaine. “They will party all night till the sun comes up, doing line after line of coke.”

According to pals, Russell felt he had no choice but to instruct his lawyers to put a swift end to the marriage. “How is Russell supposed to feel when he hears that his wife is out till all hours of the night,” says the insider. “He can only assume the worst.” And even though the singer wasn’t doing drugs herself, the source feels it showed really bad judgment. “Ruseell was a truly horrible addict. It’s a day-by-day struggle for him to stay sober and walk the right path now,” says the insider. “He’s really turned his life around, and he couldn’t let it be destroyed.”

Katy appears to have had a long and complicated history with drugs. Although her parents [are] strict evangelical Christians, she revealed in 2009 that even they weren’t always on the straight and narrow. In fact her mom was, in Katy’s words, a “wild child rock ‘n’ roller, pot-smoking debutante,” and her dad was an “acid dealer with long hair.”

There’s no doubt that Katy was exposed to it all, even then. Her Gym Class Heroes singer ex, Travie McCoy, acknowledged his own addiciton and blogged about being in rehab. And a source claims he was a really bad influence on her. “Katy was really struggling when she was with him.” But “she promised her dad she would stay clean.”

According to another insider, Russell saw changes in his wife over the past year. “She went from this sweet, adorable woman that he was madly in love with” to a needy person who surrounded herself with hangers-on who were using her, says an insider. And her behavior was getting increasingly erratic. “She’d throw back tequila shots, chain smoke… and have mood swings. He gave her an ultimatum: ‘Get rid of your hard-partying friends or lose me forever!’” It looks as if Katy made her choice.

This is exactly what I said, remember? Way back when I told you guys all about how Katy and Russell didn’t spend Christmas together, I said that Katy was being immature, selfish, and ridiculous with all the crazy partying while her husband is actively working on maintaining sobriety. And that’s why I have absolutely no trouble believing this story. From Star.

What do you guys think? If Katy was partying with cokeheads all the time, would that be a reasonable dealbreaker?

Here’s Matthew Broderick’s “Leaked” Super Bowl Commerical in its Entirety


Guess the guys at Honda just couldn’t wait for the Super Bowl to release Matthew Broderick‘s ‘Ferris Bueller’-themed commercial, because here it is. And it’s cute, I get it. It’s a spoof of Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. If you’ve ever seen the movie, you’ll know that a lot of it’s almost verbatim. Cute what they did there.

However, this commercial did nothing more than further convince me that Matthew Broderick is a gay man trying to live a straight man’s life while avoiding sex with Sarah Jessica Parker. The video screams it. What would Matthew Broderick be doing if he weren’t married to Sarah Jessica Parker? Well, probably a lot more than what he’s done in the past decade or so. He’d probably be doing more movies, more television appearances, more Broadway shows. But because his inert gayness sort of ekes its way into every crevice of each project he touches with his magic, Sarah Jessica Parker probably keeps him and whatever talent he’s got way down under lock and key, because why. Because Sarah Jessica Parker wouldn’t be able to deal with the public’s interest that their marriage failed because both of them hated her vagina.

But she’s got to look at it this way: Fran Drescher went through it. And it kind of brought her career back, I guess. Her career at least survived it. I mean, she gets interviews where she talks about aliens for f-ck’s sake. If that doesn’t say “Woo-hoo VIVA LA REVIVAL!” then I don’t know what does.

All I know is that maybe if SJP occasionally let Matthew off the hook on the wall in the bathroom, he might be able to do some interesting stuff. But forever living in the shadow of Parker’s phantom mole career is only going to oppress him further.

I feel for you, Matt, and I hope one day you can experience the kind of true freedom that your alter-ego Ferris Bueller always did. You owe him at least that, after all he’s really done for you.

Afternoon Delight

photo of katy perry pictures photos pics blue hair breakup pic
Blake Lively’s girl drama cost her a job. [Lainey Gossip]

Katy Perry has blue hair and bad shoe taste. [theBERRY]

Q&A with that hot Alcatraz star. [Starpulse]

How about some Jennifer Lopez bathing suit photos? [The Superficial]

The Celine Dion crowd-flash. [Socialite Life]

Will Obama be performing with Al Green? [TMZ]

What it costs to make Charlize Theron look good. [The Frisky]

Jess Simpson complains about “pregnancy face.” [Cele|bitchy]

Are you ready for MDNA? [Popbytes]

Entire ‘Arrested Development‘ cast leaked. [Huff Po]

Kyra Sedgwick‘s “family” tattoo exposed. [Bitten and Bound]

Brandi Glanville is calling Gerard Butler a liar now. [The Superficial]

Underneath David Beckham‘s clothes. [OMGBlog]

PITT PORN. [Lainey Gossip]

Sam Lutfi “harrassing” Lindsay Lohan. [ONTD]

Tila Tequila roller blades in lingerie. [Hollywood Backwash]

Drake wants to play Obama in a movie. [IDLYITW]

BREAKING: LeAnn Rimes Eats … HOTDOGS

photo of leann rimes pictures photos hot dog eating pics
I know, I was just as surprised as you probably were. And you know what? As weird as it is to say, this news makes me happy. I mean, girlfriend eats. I’m not saying that she does anything crazy like keeps it down or anything, but going for the high-calorie stuff like hotdogs and bread and mustard. Wow. Color me impressed. These photos were taken at this past weekend’s Dallas Mavericks basketball game, where other people of note (like Khloe Kardashian) were in attendance. LeAnn, if you were unaware, is a Mississippi native who moved to Texas at age six, and she likes to head home as frequently as possible (in between skimpy-bikini’d beach trips, of course) to support her hometown-ish team. GO MAVS.

But this hot dog thing! I just can’t get past it! Maybe it’s got something to do with the recent rumors that Eddie likes his wimminz skinny as a Wendy’s Hamburgers straw and maybe she finally let that business stop bothering her for a second and went and got herself pregnant, damned be the weight-gain consequences, but either way: I’m prouder than a mother goose, and I just can’t contain my happiness.

Or my hunger. See, I saw these photos of LeAnn housing that hot dog and all I wanted from that moment on was – you guessed it – a hot dog on a hearty bun, slathered with ketchup and mustard and peppered with delicious minced onions. I would have even gone as far as to actually mince those onions, but when I got that hot dog cooking and put it on the kaiser roll that I substituted for a bun, because who keeps hot dog buns in their house in January, I couldn’t resist. Open mouth, insert hot dog, f-ck the onions and the time it takes to mince them and sprinkle them. And that hot dog was so good that I went back for a second hot dog, and it was just as glorious as the first. Mm-mm, hot dogs.

Granted, after those two hot dogs, I probably won’t be able to eat another thing for the next two days, but … wait. Epiphany. Wait a second. OK. Maybe that was LeAnn’s entire ploy with this whole thing. Maybe that’s where she was going with all of this hot dog-housing business. And guys, that is intelligence on another level.

Damn, LeAnn. I bow to your industriousness.

Guess Who’s Obsessed With Marilyn Monroe Now!

photo of rihanna pictures photos pics
Seriously. What the hell is the matter with these people? Do they not do their research? I mean, why not be obsessed with Anna Nicole Smith? Or maybe, I don’t know, Elizabeth Bathory? Honestly, REALLY go off the deep end with our unhealthy role models. Wouldn’t that be the best route at this point? Kind of cut out the middle-man altogether?

But yes, it’s true, folks: Rihanna is the latest celebrity obsessed with Marilyn Monroe and her tortured life and addictions and fame and self-esteem issues and blah blah blah. It’s so true that Rihanna’s actually doling out her hard-earned ‘Umbrella’ money on bedazzled portraits of Marilyn herself. No joke.

From the Daily Mail:

Rihanna has found a worthy cause for £100,000 of her finest sterling – after she bought a portrait of Marilyn Monroe made out of 65,000 crystals.

The Russian Roulette singer reportedly commissioned British artist Claire Milner to make the five sq ft picture of the original blonde bombshell.

The extravagant star is believed to ‘identify’ with the Gentlemen Prefer Blondes actress because she feels the same pressures of fame.

The portrait, which constantly changes colour and ‘sends rainbows of light round the room’, took four months to complete at Claire’s Yorkshire studio.

Claire, who created the 13 stone piece with 100 per cent Swarovski crystals told The Sun: ‘I tried to show the glitter of the public life and then the sadness in Marilyn’s eyes.

‘Because of who Rihanna is, everything had to be done through her interior decorators, but they told me afterwards she loved it.’

Despite lavishly splashing out on her wall hanging, and forking out even more money to ship it to her Beverly Hills mansion, the 23-year-old RnB pop princess insists she is living the ‘thug life’.

‘Thug life’ indeed. Could you imagine Marilyn Monroe, if she were living today, living the ‘thug life’? Because I, for one, cannot. How ’bout taking a leaf out of Megan Fox’s book, Rih, huh? She’s even getting rid of her Marilyn Monroe tattoo because of the miserable connotations that come along with wanting to be word-associated with Monroe. Megan Fox herself said:

“She was a negative person, she was disturbed, bipolar. I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.”

Imagine that. And Megan Fox doesn’t generally strike me to be all that introspective as it is. I can’t say that I had you pegged as more intelligent and well-thought-out than someone like Megan Fox, girl, but when someone’s running away from a chemical fire while another one’s running to it, you can’t tell me that there’s something right about that scenario. I shake my head back and forth, I shake my head back and forth.

You’re sad, you’ve been sad, you’ll continue to be sad until you drop this weird “who am I” thing you’ve got going on and just be who you are. Whoever you are. Just … figure it out behind closed doors, would you? You’re only making yourself look foolish in the long run. I don’t know if thugs care about making themselves look foolish, but I thought I’d put it out there in case you, you know, did.