I know, I’m just as stunned as you are. Everybody knows that Katherine Heigl can be kind of a bitch. Even Katherine herself knows that. But in this here interview, as Katherine addresses the issue … is it just me, or does she seem darn near endearing?

From Elle via Celebitchy:

On pills: “I take a stress relief formula from Whole Foods. I call them my happy pills. Yeah, it helps me. In fact, I should’ve taken one today. I’ve done it to myself. I’ve created a chaotic life, and then I get on edge because of it… maybe I should take Xanax. My mother is so against pharaceuticals. Because of her wariness, it’s left wariness in me. Because, seriously, I have friends who’ll be like, ‘Oh, you have a Vicodin? Can I pop one?’ And I’m like, ‘What? You can’t just pop stuff like that! You need to talk to your doctor. What are you thinking?’”

On her bitchy interviews: Her longtime publicist told her to start thinking about interviews as other acting roles. A speechwriter was brought in to craft answers to questions she might be asked. She did chipper interviews, the aftermath of which was, she says, “months and months of self-hatred… I was trying to stop the snowball from gaining speed.”

On being an asshole: “I think it’s a female thing. I’m just that a–hole who really wants everyone to like me and it’s a ridiculous goal and it’s an impossible goal. But I think if keep pushing forward and showing myself through and through, they will see me again for what I really am and not what has been sort of spun about me.”

On being America’s sweetheart: “I’ve never really been America’s sweetheart, but for a minute I think that’s what they wanted me to be. And I had ‘em for a second thinking maybe I was. And then I opened my mouth and it was clear I wasn’t. There’s so much of my mother’s caustic, sarcastic, irreverent take on things. But I also love and embrace it.” She’s still not sorry for anything she said – it’s her truth – but she is sorry she made the mistake of saying it aloud. “I look at some of what I had to say, and I’m like, Oh my God, I would tell myself to shut up too.”

I know this girl. And I love her to death because she’s a lot of fun and I can tell that she’s a really good person, but oh my goodness, she’s a bitch and a half. She just has this tone, this way of saying things that just makes so many words that come out of her mouth sound awful and condescending and rude. She either doesn’t understand or doesn’t care that there are some things you just don’t say to people, and I think that Katherine Heigl might be a lot like that. Unfortunately, I can’t call Katherine out during interviews and say “hey girl, tone it down a little bit, you’re acting like a brat” and I can’t smack her hand on a film set when she pulls a total bitch move, but I can try to understand her. And that’s something. That’s progress.

What do you guys think of Katherine now?

The last season of Jersey Shore was so intense, right? There was all that drama with Jionni, we got to see Snooki’s problem with alcohol become painfully obvious and undeniable (as if it wasn’t already, right?) and, possibly the best part of all, we got to see The Situation ram his head into a wall. The fourth season of Jersey Shore was not a joke. It came at us hard and fast, and it didn’t slow down. So the fifth season should be the craziest yet, right?

Well, if you watch the trailer, not so much.

It looks like the highlights this season are going to be Vinny going home for a couple days and Snooki hitting the Situation with a plastic baseball bat. And that’s so disappointing. I mean, if you watch the whole trailer you don’t see one second of Ron and Sam fighting. Not one! It almost makes me not even want to watch it when it premieres on January 5th on MTV.

Almost.

I know, I know, it’s been weeks since People magazine named Bradley Cooper the “sexiest man alive,” and likewise, it’s been weeks since everyone, myself included, threw a fit that Ryan Gosling didn’t receive that title. And believe me, if I could, I would just bury that under the rug. I would just chalk the whole thing up to another one of life’s many injustices, and I wouldn’t have given it another thought.

But Bradley Cooper just said that Ryan Gosling deserved it, and really, am I supposed to leave that alone?

“There was such a backlash to when they announced it and Ryan Gosling, who I love and I just did a movie with him – he’s the greatest ,” said Cooper, who claimed a friend sent him a link to a website comparing paparazzi photographs of the two actors who were both in Paris last week.

“When I say friend, I mean me, alone in my room, looking at the computer,” Cooper joked. “And it’s like him walking around and he literally looks like he’s in a photo shoot, like he just came off the runway. And there’s ones of me, and I literally look like the neighbor who never really comes out of his house, and when he does, you’re like, ‘Maybe you should just stay in. We don’t know what he does in there!’ So it’s been interesting.”

Cooper admits he’s still coming to terms with all the attention, joking that the “Sexiest” title is “the worst.”

“I’m finally at an age – I’m 36 years old – where I really don’t care about anything like that anymore, which is a wonderful thing and then this happened and then I started to realize just how not sexy I am,” he said.

In fact, the new title has made Cooper rethink his day-to-day activities.

“I have a lot of moments where [I’m] walking out and I’ll open up the door [and think to myself], ‘I could do that a lot sexier,’ ” he laughed.

Do you like Bradley Cooper more after that? Because I sure do.*

*Ryan Gosling in 2012!

Oh, good grief.

I admit I haven’t seen the newest Muppets movie, so I can’t say for sure whether I think the Muppets themselves are a bunch of anti-capitalist pinko Commies. But apparently, the movie’s central villain—an oil baron—is someone called “Tex Richman.” Which is a great name for a villainous oil baron! That’s cute! C’mon!

And anyway, there’s a longstanding legacy of the villain being some devious business magnate. Maybe the villain is obsessed with taking over a building; maybe he’s trying to forge his name onto a document so he can secure the town’s water rights. That’s just good, clean melodrama! There is nothing more American than melodrama, after all.

But Dan Gainor of watchdog group Media Research Center has a different take:

This is what they’re teaching our kids. You wonder why we’ve got a bunch of Occupy Wall Street people walking around all around the country—they’ve been indoctrinated, literally, for years by this kind of stuff. Whether it was Captain Planet or Nickelodeon’s Big Green Help, or The Day After Tomorrow, the Al Gore-influenced movie, all of that is what they’re teaching, is that corporations is bad, the oil industry is bad, and ultimately what they’re telling kids is what they told you in the movie The Matrix: that mankind is a virus on poor old mother Earth.

Now, I realize the issue of climate change is kind of a touchy subject at Thanksgiving dinner, but I’m startled anyway. Is Mr. Gainor, uh, pro-pollution? Why is he so upset by Big Green Help? “Oooh, I just hate recycling!”

Let’s get real, FOX Business: was it a slow news cycle? (Or do these talking heads actually have a point? String me up in the comments!)

You guys! This is happening on Twitter right now.

Alec Baldwin just tweeted:

Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving. #nowonderamericaairisbankrupt

Apart from the full-body shudder I felt at the words “reamed me out,” ha! I love that Alec Baldwin is mad about this. (That last hashtag, by the way, alludes to American Airlines’ bankruptcy.)

Anyway, the story doesn’t stop there. Baldwin tweeted a few more times—that 30 Rock plays inflight on American, that United should buy Words With Friends, that he switched to a different flight… Wait, what?

Wow. I can’t tell whether Baldwin was thrown off the flight, or maybe he just raised a stink over his ability to play Words With Friends in first class (I’m putting my money on the latter).

Edit: Oh, boy, am I wrong. Baldwin was actually kicked off the plane, according to the Los Angeles Times and the NY Daily News (the “conflict escalated,” they report). All because he was playing Words With Friends! Ha!

American Airlines was quick to respond to Baldwin’s hissy fit:

@AlecBaldwin Mr. Baldwin, we are looking into this. Please DM us contact information.

OK, sure: there has been a lot of talk of revising the whole policy about air safety and electronics—it’s possible that your Sony Walkman has no influence on the flight navigation instruments at all—but there are reasons those policies are in place, Mr. Baldwin. And communication with air traffic control is just as crucial “at the gate, not moving” as it is during takeoff. Duh.

Baldwin did tweet that he’ll never fly American again:

#theresalwaysunited Last flight w American. Where retired Catholic school gym teachers from the 1950′s find jobs as flight attendants.

Alec Baldwin must be taxiing on the runway right now because his Twitter account has finally gone silent gotten really active again.

This is what Jenni – AKA Jersey Shore‘s J Woww – had to say about her recent shoot with Maxim:

“I cried when I found out. I was jumping up and down and totally bugging out. This is probably my highest accomplishment.”

Hehe, right? Whatever. She is mildly hot. She is. She’s sort of attractive in that dirty, fake, swear-word-saying-in-public-places kind of way, and you’d never actually take her home to mom (or to your friends … or even your acquaintances), but UGH. This photo shoot does girlfriend positively no justice. I mean, her tits are all over the place, and I’m sure that’s what’s really important and not that the lighting makes her face look like something out of Michael Jackson’s House of Wax, but it’s really, really obvious that the photo editors didn’t even take notice that she was making faces in most of the photos like she had a pulmonary embolism.

But alright. I get it. You think she’s hot. She’s definitely seedy. She’d bend over an ashy pool table for you. That’s pretty super. … Just don’t let your friends see, dude. You’d never live it down.