“[The idea of Lindsay posing for Playboy] really came as a surprise to me. I kind of had mixed emotions about it initially, and then it turned into something bigger than life. I wasn’t quite sure where she was at in her life, obviously. It depends on whether it’s Tuesday or Thursday.”

The Playboy mogul on giving second thoughts to whether or not Lindsay Lohan would be mentally capable of dealing with a half-assed nudie shoot.

What does that say about your career trajectory if someone like HUGH HEFNER is questioning your ability to make sound decisions?

YEAH LINDSAY.

At least she wouldn’t be if Santa saw this lovely set of mini-bitchface photos. I know, I know – cut the kid a break, she’s a little girl, what little girl hasn’t thrown a temper tantrum in public, yeah, she probably wants that stupid stuffed dog that every other Hollywood couple’s daughter on the block has, and it’s totally the end of the world that *Katie stood her ground and didn’t buy it for her. JEEZ SARAH DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT KIDS ARE?

I’m kidding. She’s cute, and honestly, it’s fine. It’s all OK. And I’m sure it turned out well. It’s just SO GOOD that daddy Tom wasn’t there – I hear that Xenu seriously frowns upon tears, genuine disappointment, and, you know, toys in general.

*Awaiting confirmation

Oh Jennifer Aniston. How you slay me with your interviews and your red carpet appearances and your constant onslaught of rom-coms and failed public romances that people just can’t get over. You’re one of the celebrities that I love to hate and … hate to … no. Wait. OK, right. You’re just one of the celebrities that I love to hate on. Here’s a recent interview with People, guys. Enjoy!

Jennifer on getting skin-savvy:

“I’ve started getting those little sun spots. Things are beginning to pop out. Even the texture [of my skin] is changing. So I’ve recently started zapping the spots and getting spray tans whenever I can. And I’ve graduated to using SPF 60 sunblock when I’m on the beach.”

Jennifer, backtracking about claiming she’d never had cosmetic enhancements:

“People think that I do a lot of injections, but I don’t. I’m not saying that I haven’t tried it … but I see how it’s a slippery slope.”

On being so natural that she hates mascara:

Jennifer [also revealed] that she tints her eyelashes every three weeks (“I hate wearing mascara,” she says) and that she used to keep scissors in her car’s glove compartment to trim split ends (“It was a weird tic,” she admits).

So, it seems to me that someone’s kind of hung up on their appearance, or at least the public perception of her appearance, huh? And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to slowly back away from the keyboard and wait for the Jennifer-lovers to swarm in and castrate me for criticizing the Most Beautiful and Sexy and Alluring Woman Who Ever Walked the Earth and Other Planets in Our Galaxy, the Milky Way. OK? Can you give me a five-second head start?

This girl, I swear. It’s like every single time I go “Courtney Stodden, you’ve topped yourself. You seriously can’t get any better than this,” she just goes and proves me wrong. This is one of those times.

Here, I’ll show you some of my favorite excerpts from this interview Courtney did with Zap2it, ok? You’ll see what I mean.

What super power would you like to have?
I would find it breathtaking to be able to feel what it’s like to fly… Wait. I’m already flying – flying on the wings of love!

Is there another celebrity you’ve always wanted to meet and haven’t yet?
I’d love to meet Senator John McCain one day. What a cutie!

What’s a surprising activity you do in your free time?
I love taking invigorating hikes with my precious pink pooch Bazaar and my mother throughout the hills of Hollywood. Oh and did I mention that I do that in 7-inch stilettos?! ;)

What clique did you belong to in high school?
The ‘too sexy ‘n hot for high school’ clique. ;)

Hiking in stilettos? Crushing on John McCain? “Flying on the wings of love”? Courtney, stop, you’re too much!

Go ahead and read the rest of the interview, ok? Because I think Courtney Stodden is this year’s Christmas miracle.

(more…)

Amber from Teen Mom has had a really rough year. For starters, she went to jail for hitting her boyfriend and neglecting her daughter, she tried to kill herself, and she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and dissociative disorder. Things were looking up for a hot minute earlier this week when the protective order keeping Amber from seeing her daughter was lifted, but now, just a few days later, it looks like Amber has violated pretty much every single one of her terms of probation.

TMZ has a list of those violations:

– “Failure to behave well in society” — namely, drinking too much and hitting a person at a restaurant last month
– Failure to obtain a GED
– Failure to complete 6 months of anger control evaluation and classes
– Failure to pay probation fees
– Failure to set up a $10,000 college fund for her baby daughter

So basically Amber can’t do anything right. Seriously, she had to go to some classes, get a GED, and make some payments. It’s not like she’s poor. Also, one of her rules was that she had to “behave well in society.” Someone told her to be a good girl out in public so she wouldn’t have to go to jail for two years, and she just said “nah, I’m just gonna punch this chick at the IHOP.” That’s how this whole thing is going down.

Man, some people …

Britney‘s getting married?! Like, again? They say third time’s the charm, right?

According to TMZ‘s Harvey Levin, there’s inside info confirming that Britney Spears is, indeed, getting engaged tonight. And if this marriage is anything like her previous two, she’ll be married by Tuesday. Kidding. But seriously, I think this is fabulous news. This is a dude (albeit a crazy-eyed dude, but birds of a feather and all that …) who’s stuck by Britney through thick and thin (mostly thick), and seems to be a strong, positive influence on both her and her boys. I’m really, really happy if this is the case, and if it’s not, hell. Stop wasting my time, TMZ. I expect the rill dill from you guys, not some trumped-up story faked out for a Friday. According to the site:

Jason Trawick may have jumped the engagement gun … ’cause Britney Spears just posted a message hinting that he ALREADY popped the question … and she said yes! Britney just went to her Facebook page and wrote, “OMG. Last night Jason surprised me with the one gift I’ve been waiting for. Can’t wait to show you! SO SO SO excited!!!! Xxo.”

TMZ broke the story … Trawick had planned to ask for Britney’s hand in marriage during their trip to Vegas … and the smart money was that it was all SUPPOSED to go down tonight. Seems he just couldn’t wait! Sources close to the couple tell us … Jason organized a MASSIVE celebratory dinner tonight at the Chocolate Lounge at the Sugar Factory in the Paris Hotel … because Brit Brit LOVES chocolate. We’re told there will be a chocolate fondue and all the men will get chocolate truffle cigars.

After dinner … the gang is set to go to Chateau nightclub and party the night away.

YUM. Does this not sound like a dream come true, all that chocolate? At least, my dream come true, and Brit’s, too. I mean, we ALL know how she feels about that sweet, cocoa-brown goodness.