Dec 18, 2011 at 05:00 pm by Emily

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Christina is 31 today, everyone! Isn’t that exciting? Now, 30 was admittedly not the best year for her, but I really think she can turn things around this time around. I think now that she’s older and wiser, she can really get things back on track. Maybe she can stop drinking so much, and hell, maybe she can even put on some pants!

Who knows what this year has in store for Christina Aguilera? Only time will tell, but in the meantime, let’s take a look back at Christina over the years, shall we? And since she’s such a special snowflake, let’s do it in video form!

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Dec 18, 2011 at 04:30 pm by Emily

I only ask because I need to know what to get you guys for Christmas! If you don’t listen to Ingrid Michaelson, then you get a mix tape, but if you do listen to Ingrid Michaelson, you get a high five. See how that works?

Anyway, you all know that I love to share some of my favorite music with you, so when I saw that Ingrid had a new song out from a new album (January 24th, I’m so excited!), I knew that I had to share it with you. What do you think?

And, as always, if you have any of your favorite music to share, then that’s what the comments are for!

Dec 18, 2011 at 07:00 am by Emily

A photo of Charlize Theron

“I’m pretty amazed by Hello Kitty. I see so many women in their 30s walking around in Hello Kitty shit and nobody is concerned for them. It’s the one iconic teenage symbol that seems okay for women in their 30s? The world seems to not have an issue with it.”

Charlize Theron reveals that if you’re an adult in a Hello Kitty shirt, you’re not ok.

I was going to say that she’s being really judgey here, but I actually kind of get where Charlize is coming from on this one. See, here in the South, and you other Southern people can back me up on this one or else alert me that this is a more national trend, people are really into Looney Tunes. I can’t tell you how many grown ass women I’ve seen in a Tweety Bird shirt, and I’ve honestly seen more than one person with a tattoo of that Tasmanian Devil. I don’t get it, I really, really don’t.

But what do you guys think? Does Charlize need to back off, or do you think there’s something a little off about adults obsessed with things like Hello Kitty?

Dec 18, 2011 at 05:00 am by Emily

A photo of Courtney Stodden

In case you couldn’t tell already, Courtney Stodden is a true expert at getting into the Christmas spirit. For the past month, her glorious Twitter has been all about the holiday season: she calls Santa things like “sweet Santa of seduction,” “Santa of Ravishment,” and “Mr. Moist Saint Nick.” And if that doesn’t convince you that Courtney takes Christmas seriously, maybe this will: she’s doing the 12 days of Christmas. And it’s wonderful.

So far we’re just on day four, but this is what Courtney’s true love has given her so far:

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A pretty pair of pink panties…

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Two tiny tees…

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Three thick thesauri…

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Four faux furs…

Oh goodness, you guys.  ”Three thick thesauri,” I can’t.  It’s too early, it’s too much, I just can’t.  And just imagine how wondrous the next eight days are going to be!  In my wildest dreams, the 12th day of Christmas brings “twelve twinkling tweakers,” complete with a photo of Courtney surrounded by crackheads covered in body glitter.  What about yours?

Dec 18, 2011 at 04:00 am by Emily

A photo of Scarlett Johansson

I used to have no real opinion on Scarlett Johansson, but lately she’s just been getting on my nerves. It wasn’t anything too intense, but I think that this is the moment where I start strongly disliking Scarlett Johansson. You want to know why?

This is what she said when asked how she felt about her little nickname, ScarJo:

“Oh, it’s awful. It’s a laziness. People can’t actually say the whole name? It’s just bizarre. How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn’t subjected to like, ‘DaDay’? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, ‘CaBla’? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck?”

Oh girl, no. No you didn’t. First off, it’s not lazy, it makes sense. Try fitting “Scarlett Johansson” on the cover of a tabloid. Try being someone who isn’t you or someone in your family – do you know how long it took me to figure out how many n’s and how many s’s were in your name? It’s a nickname, Scarlett, and you can ask my friend who in 7th grade decided that she wanted us to call her Bubbles: you can’t pick a nickname.

Also, you did not just compare yourself to Daniel Day-Lewis and Cate Blanchett. Please tell me you did not just do that. Take your ass back to the Avengers or make another shitty album of covers and leave the professionals out of this.

How are you guys feeling about ScarJo these days?

Dec 17, 2011 at 09:30 am by Emily

A photo of Lindsay Lohan

But no, really, how is this still happening? How does Lindsay Lohan still have a modelling career? How does Lindsay Lohan still have any kind of career? Has no one heard that she’s a flake with a meth habit? Has no one seen her lips? Has no one noticed that look in her eye that alternates between “I’m dead inside” and “crazycrazycrazy”? Haven’t people had their fill of her crackhead shenanigans? Do people think that we’re still interested in her in a way that isn’t akin to watching a trainwreck?

Sorry for all these questions, but I need some answers. Help me out, friends, because I’m lost. I’m awash in a sea of flapping lips and disappointment.

Images courtesy of Celebitchy