Well hell’s bells. You learn something new every day, huh? Apparently, the National Enquirer has an exclusive interview with an ex-boyfriend of Oprah‘s who said she drove her car into a tree back in ’81 after finding out he was married and had kids. From the Enquirer via the Daily Mail:

Oprah Winfrey tried to kill herself in 1981 when she discovered the man she was in love with was married with children, according to reports. The chat show queen was so distraught that she could not be with radio DJ Tim Watts that she drove her car into a tree in an apparent suicide bid. She even wrote a ‘suicide note’ to best friend Gayle King, who put her on a 24/7 watch after she survived the smash.

In his first comments on their relationship, Watts told the National Enquirer that he and Oprah were ‘both young and at an age when people do stupid things they might regret later’. But he insisted that they were now good friends and that they had both put their past behind them.

The Enquirer reported that Watts, now 59, met Oprah, now 57, in 1981 when she was a production assistant at WJZ-TV in Baltimore. He was the man she would have ‘married in a heartbeat’ – until the night she followed him home and discovered he was already married with children. A source told the Enquirer: ‘She was so upset she smashed her car into a tree.’

Hm. So because this douchebag cheated on his wife and kids with another woman, that drove (ha ha) Oprah to smash a car? I’m skeptical. But wait – it gets better. The guy (who is still a DJ or whatever in Baltimore after all this time) says that bygones are bygones:

“Friends are hard to come by so I’ll hold onto the few I have. What happened between me and Oprah took place a long time ago and we have both learned from it. I have no hard feelings towards her and she has none towards me. We were both young and at an age when people do stupid things they might regret later. We both moved on and are at good place in our lives.”

I’m sooo glad that this guy has no hard feelings over the woman he cheated with. I mean, can you imagine the complete and utter relief that Oprah must feel reading these words? She probably woke up a new woman this morning, and gosh. After looking at that guy, wouldn’t you?

This is just like that time that Courtney Stodden‘s mom, Krista, said that Dina Lohan is a great mom, only better. And by “better,” I mean that this time, Courtney’s mom is talking about how she persuaded a 51-year old man to marry her 16-year-old daughter.

On the beginning of Doug and Courtney’s courtship: “I could really tell my daughter had the kind of love when you want to marry a man or be with a man. Even though she was just 16, I knew it was going to take a pretty big man to handle her because of her sexuality and because of the attention she gets.”

On Doug’s pure love: “See, with Courtney, with the way she looks: how is she ever going to know if someone loves her for how she looks or for her heart? I wanted her to be with somebody—and she wanted to be with somebody—that loved her for her heart. So this was perfect for her! To have a long-distance relationship to where they could just communicate through words, there was no sexual anything, we knew he loved her for her heart.”

On how Courtney didn’t need her teen years: “These people that say, ‘You could have waited,’ I really don’t understand this way of thinking. Why do parents think that kids need to have those teen years spent going out with different boys, going out in different cars, going out on the beach together alone? There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in those teen years. They end up being killed in car crashes due to driving with people that have been drinking. Oh, but they’re gonna have their teen years. My daughter is safe. I know where my daughter is.”

And now she compares Courtney to Anna Nicole Smith: “The gay community has been so loving to her. I know that Anna Nicole Smith had a great rapport with the gay community, and I think they’ve been waiting to have someone they can connect with, and I think Courtney is that person. She is different and stands out. Frankly, we thought she’d fit in better in Hollywood.”

Well, at least now we know where Courtney gets that whole maladjusted thing, right? This lady doesn’t understand why her 16-year-old daughter should have waited a few years before getting hitched, AND she pretty much calls her the next Anna Nicole Smith. Um, doesn’t she know how that whole thing ended?

Does this change your view on Courtney at all, now that you know more about her origins?

Come on, it’s Neil Patrick Harris and his family, what am I supposed to do, ignore it? Sure, Jessica Simpson‘s costume was also a big reveal, and LeAnn Rimes‘ costume was funny because we got to laugh at her, not with her. But this is Neil Patrick Harris here. He’s too adorable to ignore.

Every now and then, there’s a blind item that I can figure out. And, I’ll admit it, I get a little cocky. I’ll post the picture of the celebrity I think the blind item refers to instead of that creepy faceless picture, and I’ll talk a little more smack. And this is definitely one of those times.

This diva had a little too much to drink at a recent Halloween party. She was fine until someone brought up the name of another female artist. Our diva began mocking her rival. When someone made the mistake of coming to the rival’s defense, our diva went ballistic, and started screaming at them: “That bitch destroyed my career! Don’t you ever, EVER mention her name in front of me again!” The defender backed off, and everyone else gave the diva a wide berth for the rest of the evening.

Christina Aguilera obviously hasn’t put down the bottle yet, and she obviously still hates Lady Gaga for her own failures. It’s almost too easy.

Any other guesses?

It’s always a great day for America when Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. You get this warm fuzzy feeling of justice being served. It’s almost better than Christmas morning! But then something like this happens, and everything goes to hell.

But let’s rewind.

Today, Lindsay got sentenced to 30 days in jail for that time she violated her probation. The judge gave Lindsay a schedule for her probation because she obviously can’t figure it out for herself, and the deal is that if Lindsay doesn’t complete the rest of her probation by March 29th, then she gets an extra 270 days in jail. The honorable judge also advised that Lindsay stop telling Twitter all about the morgue. Everything sounds good, right?

Not so much. It turns out that there’s a law that if someone gets sentenced to 90 days or less, they are automatically processed and then released due to overcrowding. So basically this bitch already got out of her jail time before we even got a brand new mug shot! It hardly seems fair.

For those of us who are rooting for Lindsay to get some solid jail time in – it’s for her own good, ok? – there’s still the chance that she’ll mess up her community service again. Can we get some bets going on how likely that is? And while we’re at it, can we also talk about Lindsay’s outfit? She’s getting better, right?

A haircut to make you cry a little. [Lainey Gossip]

This is Kim Kardashian‘s “stoic” face. [Starpulse]

The Selena Gomez upskirt! [The Superficial]

ESPN’s Jenn Brown stuck in a bathroom, Tweeting. [Busted Coverage]

The Lindsay-jail live feed. [TMZ]

Some people should just NOT be photographed topless. [Socialite
Life]

Melissa Joan Hart‘s “problem” with Dancing With the Stars. [Seriously OMG]

And now, supposedly, Kim Kardashian‘s ring isn’t worth the $2m that it has been all this time. [The Frisky]

Bruce Wayne sighting in New York. [Caught on Set]

Jessica Biel will not talk about Justin Timberlake. [theBERRY]

21 Mustaches to make your upper lip twitch. [Pajiba]

Does Carmen Electra still have it? [I'm Not Obsessed]

And so Demi cheated to even out the playing field. [Cele|bitchy]

Neil Patrick Harris and his twins are ADORABLE for Halloween. [Huff Po]

Robert Pattinson got into a fistfight. [Hollywood Dame]

Hugh Grant fathered a child with a teenager. [Lainey Gossip]