Just when I thought that I was finally getting over the anguish and despair that I felt this summer over Harry Potter’s last hurrah, it starts up all over again. Because she hasn’t done enough already, JK Rowling had a big long chat with Daniel Radcliffe for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 Blu-ray in which she taunts us with horrible, awful things she almost did and one heartbreaking account of something beautiful that she cruelly decided could never be.

On killing Ron Weasley: “Funnily enough, I planned from the start that none of them would die. Then midway through, which I think is a reflection of the fact that I wasn’t in a very happy place, I started thinking I might polish one of them off. Out of sheer spite. ‘There, now you definitely can’t have him any more.’ But I think in my absolute heart of heart of hearts, although I did seriously consider killing Ron, [I wouldn't have done it].”

On killing Hagrid: Rowling reveals that from the start, she always knew that the final chapters of the last novel would include these beats: That Harry would walk willingly to his death; that he would be joined by the spirits of his parents and other loved ones during that death march; and that Hagrid would carry Harry’s (apparently) lifeless body out of The Forbidden Forest. Rowling tells Radcliffe that the image of Hagrid cradling “dead” Harry — a bookend to the beginning of the series, when Hagrid brought infant Harry to the Dursleys – stuck with her the entire time she wrote the books and she never let it go. If she had, Rowling says Hagrid would have been a “natural” target for elimination. “That image kept him safe,” she says.

On maybe not killing Remus: Rowling shares with Radcliffe that when she created Lupin’s character, she planned for him to survive the finale. While the author has said as much in other interviews, here, she elaborates, explaining that she changed her mind when she realized that her last Harry Potter story was really about war, and that “one of the most horrifying things about war is how it leaves children fatherless and motherless.” The most powerful way she could dramatize that idea, she says, was to kill a set of parents that were dear to readers. “I had no intention of killing [Lupin],” says Rowling. “But then it dawned on me he had to die.”

Well, that was exhausting. Can you imagine if Ron had died? There was a point when I thought that Hagrid would surely die, but Ron? No. No, I couldn’t do it. Could you? And Remus … after four years, I still get choked up when I think about Remus. Is that normal? Are any of you guys still torn up over anything Harry Potter related? This is the time to let everything go.

Oh, how I love Snooki! I think it has to do with her “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude, her ambition, and the way she does her nails. Either way, Snooki did a delightful little interview with GQ in which we learn that she can do surgery on animals, she voted for McCain, and that “everyone can suck it.”

GQ: So, I’ve got to ask: You’ve really never heard of J.K. Rowling or Maya Angelou?
Snooki: I don’t read. I don’t like to read Harry Potter or anything like that. It’s not my style.

GQ: But you’re a New York Times best-selling author!
Snooki: Yeah, doesn’t mean I have to read.

GQ: When are we going to see you on the big screen?
Snooki: Well, I did cameos in two movies already that should be out next year but I would love to be on a sitcom like The Office.

GQ: If you were on The Office now, which character would you like to play?
Snooki: I would have been the one to replace Steve Carell and take over. I could be a boss.

GQ: Some people compare the word Guido to the N-word. Do you think that’s a fair comparison?
Snooki: I think that’s ridiculous. The N-word is seriously offensive. “Guido” is used as a lifestyle—like being a prep, skater, gothic. We’re Guidos. Plus, I’m not even Italian!

GQ: How do you feel about Obama’s performance so far?
Snooki: Um, I didn’t vote for Barack Obama, but I’m supportive of him obviously because he is our president and hopefully he can fix this country because it sucks right now.

GQ: Did you vote?
Snooki: Of course, I voted for McCain.

GQ: Out of the GOP candidates, those that were rumored, dropped out or are still in it, who would you vote for?
Snooki: Donald Trump, I would vote for him. Trump would make this country better I feel. He gets shit done.

GQ: If you were producing Jersey Shore, what would you do differently?
Snooki: I wouldn’t show as much drinking and partying. I would show more of us chilling out and having a good time—which they don’t show. We don’t even drink those nights, but we laugh all night. They don’t show anything but us drinking and hooking up.

GQ: What was your major?
Snooki: Veterinarian tech. Test me and bring me to a hospital. I can induce an animal, do surgery, do anesthesia, and take blood. So if you want to tell me I’m stupid again, let’s go to an animal hospital.

GQ: What’s an animal that you’ve worked with before?
Snooki: I did dogs and cats. I’ve actually worked with ducks, drew blood from a horse, and stuck my hand in a cow’s ass.

GQ: You have a camera on you nearly all the time these days. Is there anything we don’t know about you?
Snooki: I don’t think so. I just know that I’m going to be 98 pounds again and everyone can suck it.

Man, someone sure sounds defensive, huh? And did anyone else find it bizarre that Snooki voted for McCain? I mean, I know they’re bros and all, but come on now. Also, why has no one developed a reality show based on Snooki’s veterinary adventures? Seriously, get it together, MTV.

Did you learn anything new about our dear Snooki today?

My first thought, one that I’m sure many of you share, was “why, Michelle Williams, you keep your hair short because it looks stunning and adorable that way!” For real, I can’t think of a woman who can pull of this look better than Michelle can (well, maybe Natalie Portman. I don’t know, let me think about it). It turns out, however, that Michelle has a much more depressing reason to keep her short hairstyle:

“What Matilda would love is for her mom to grow out the cropped hair, though that’s unlikely to happen any time soon.  I’ve really grown into it – I feel like myself with short hair. And it’s been a really long time since I had long hair, five years. Of course, the only people who like it are gay men and my girlfriends. Straight men across the board are not into this hair! I (first) cut it for the one straight man who has ever liked short hair and I wear it in memorial of somebody who really loved it.”

I don’t think there will ever be a time when hearing Michelle Williams mention or allude to Heath Ledger won’t make me burst into tears and curse the untimely death of one of the most talented actors of this generation. So yeah, I’ll just be spending this evening watching The Patriot and A Knight’s Tale and quietly weeping. Must be Thursday, right?

Hugh Grant is totally not a dick. [Lainey Gossip]

Kim Kardashian “almost cancelled her wedding.” Right. [Starpulse]

David Hasselhoff goes deaf. [The Superficial]

Kelly Osbourne couldn’t believe her boyfriend liked a penis over her vagina or something. [Cele|bitchy]

Shia LaBeouf’s girlfriend strikes me as really, really needy. [Lainey Gossip]

James Franco does stuff with Ouija boards. [LA Times]

Pete Rose is being sued by a DENTIST. [TMZ]

Men love a good striptease in the bathroom, that’s right. [The Frisky]

I almost forgot about this guy. [Socialite Life]

A guide to “safe” social media. [OMGBlog]

A bear headbangs to Slayer, and no, I’m not joking. [INFDaily]

But WHERE’S the VAGINA? [Yeeeah]

Emeril can serve me anytime. [Caught on Set]

Jessica Biel auditions for every part under the sun, never gets them. [ICYDK]

More shots of Coco’s tits and ass. [The Superficial]

First of all, I love this story. Second of all, I love that ABC is covering it just as stoically as ABC can (“Lindsay Lohan to Pose for Playboy Before Prison”). Third, I love that ABC has attempted to catalogue this “news” under “Celebrity Law.” Gossip is a slippery slope, ABC! You try to cover Lindsay Lohan‘s legal woes and, next thing you know, you’re posting news articles about pornography. Sorry, ABC! That’s just how the cookie crumbles.

Radar reports that, in addition to getting slapped with a 30-day jail sentence yesterday (which will assuredly never happen), Lindsay Lohan was also given a whole extra week to “check into jail.” (Radar’s words, not mine.) Why? To make time for her million-dollar Playboy shoot, of course!

“But I thought Lindz already did a shoot for Playboy!” you, the well-informed reader, are likely protesting. “Dina Lohan said it ‘went well,’” you add, probably adjusting your glasses.

That may be so! Unfortunately, the photos did not meet Hugh Hefner‘s lofty standards, E! reports, and Hefner is bringing a new photographer for the do-over. Radar’s anonymous source adds, “The first pictures of Lindsay weren’t exactly what they wanted so they have a new theme that they want to shoot.”

To sum it all up: the first Playboy shoot sucked, so Lindsay has one week to take hotter pics and get her ass to jail.

The reshoots begin today.

(The above image—just to remind you how hot Lindsay is when she has her ish together—via the Daily Mail.)

I think I may need to explain some of the words in the headline. Billy Crudup is one of our finest living actors, although I have questioned the ethics of all of his romantic decisions ever since that whole Mary-Louise Parker thing (I MEAN, REALLY). And because it is admittedly difficult to separate an artist from his personal business, Crudup came thisclose to ruining Patrick Wilson in The Watchmen for me.

Grace Gummer is Meryl Streep‘s daughter.

The pair costarred in the revival of Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia, and now Page Six reports that the two have been spied running all over Manhattan together. That’s it. That’s the whole scoop. I know, I know, it’s all very Zzzz, but it was the one little scrap of gossip that really arched my eyebrow this morning.

I guess Grace Gummer, at 25, is perfectly capable of making decisions for herself, and—you’re going to shoot me for saying this—their 17-year age gap isn’t that bad. (Thirteen is my personal limit, but oh, well.)

Still, Gummer played a 17-year-old girl in last year’s Gigantic (on TeenNick) and an 18-year old in Arcadia. Billy Crudup is doubtlessly beautiful, but he wears all of his 42 years on his face—if Crudup isn’t careful, he could very easily pass as Gummer’s father. I guess what I’m really saying is, Crudup can date anybody he likes, but he should also moisturize.