Oh dear heavens. I wasn’t even aware that Snooki was launching a fragrance, but I suppose this Funny or Die clip is probably the best advertisement for it, since the shit probably stinks like pickles, day-old latex, and spoiled whipped cream, and isn’t that actually pretty funny? Isn’t that precisely what Snooks here was probably going for? The joke’s actually on you, though, if you buy her perfume: it retails for and Snooki herself said the fragrance smells like candy and desperation:

“I love my scent because it’s me. It’s very bubbly, it reminds me of cotton candy and a lot of candy and it’s very flirty because obviously I love to flirt like that … I feel like everybody’s gonna love the scent – even like eight-year-olds are going to wanna wear it and I just wanted it to reflect me.”

Oh boy. Pretty high hopes for someone who can’t even frigging read.

Oh, I also forgot to mention in the previous post – the super-cute Hayden Panettiere was visually assaulted by a nude streaker (and really, is there any other kind?) who was, admittedly, pretty hot. And that accent, woo. I’m a girl that really gets off on accents – all kinds of accents, really, except for Boston accents (though back-country New England accents are awesome) and New York accents (sorry!), and this guy was off the charts.

Anyway. The video is kind of NSFW if your workplace frowns upon quick, blurry photos of decent penis and completely fine male ass, but pretty much OK for everywhere else.

Enjoy!

What’s that, you live in the US and don’t know what the MTV EMAs are, but at least recognize the fact that it’s probably an MTV-related awards show considering MTV’s got its name on it and it’s got that year thing attached to it, too? Surprise, it’s an awards show!

The MTV EMAs are MTV’s European music awards, and are probably pretty accurate in their nominations and winners, what with the exception of not realizing how fabulous Adele really is – especially when compared with the likes of Lady Gaga. Apparently Lady Gaga‘s got a pretty big international base, huh? People also seem to like Jared Leto and his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, too, though you wouldn’t think so by how my photo agency labeled all of his photos. Jared’s apparently changed his name to match his brother, Shannon. How about them apples.

The show also seems to attract a bevy of worldly celebrities, not those like Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, or Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner. Except, you know, for Snooki, because she was there. Who the hell paid airfare for this twat to show up in Belfast? OH. MTV. Right.

Last, Katy Perry looks like hell. Bloody, awful hell. And that, friends? That’s really about it.

The winners are as follows:

Best Song
Lady GaGa – ‘Born This Way’

Best Live
Katy Perry

Best Pop
Justin Bieber

Best New
Bruno Mars

Best Female
Lady GaGa

Best Male
Justin Bieber

Best Hip-Hop
Eminem

Best Rock
Linkin Park

Best Video
Lady GaGa – ‘Born This Way’

Best Alternative
Thirty Seconds To Mars

Best World Stage
Thirty Seconds To Mars

Best Push
Bruno Mars

Biggest Fans
Lady GaGa

MTV UK & Ireland / Best UK & Ireland Act
Adele

Best Worldwide
BIGBANG

Jump in for photos of the show!

(more…)

Vagina-thrashers unite. [The Superficial]

She makes bad, bad movies. [Lainey Gossip]

Nobody likes Nickelback. [Starpulse]

James Dean, James Franco? [theBERRY]

I wanna be a professional zombie. [Socialite Life]

Avril Lavigne‘s injuries. [TMZ]

Here’s one to add to the Herman-Cain-sexually-intimidated-me parade. [The Frisky]

Ryan Reynolds can’t imagine life without Blake Lively. Puke. [Socialite Life]

Who’s the number one overpaid actress in Hollywood? [Popbytes]

Why are the Australians are hating Elisabeth Moss? [Huff Po]

Andy Williams has cancer. [Bitten and Bound]

Katy Perry‘s pregnant. [The Superficial]

“Gleeky” gay sex. [OMGBlog]

Stacy Keibler used to go to, like, the Jersey Shore for vacation, and now she goes to Spain and stuff. [Lainey Gossip]

Demi Moore “happy,” not dying, anorexic, cheating, or dead. [Us Magazine]

What makes Gisele emotional? [ONTD]

Last week we vaguely reported that Hugh Grant had fathered a child with a teenager. This is said teenager, only the teenager is thirty-one years old and apparently has amazing genes.

The two were said to be a couple sometime last year, but are not currently involved in a relationship, and frankly, I don’t have a whole lot to say other than that Hugh Grant’s real-life escapades are quite like those of his character’s antics in Bridget Jones’ Diary. See what I mean?:

Boyfriend’s still on his game.

“I don’t fight. I don’t believe in it. To clear things up I got attacked by 5 people last night out of nowhere. Not cool. My face is f*cked … As in black eye, bloody nose, hair ripped out, scratches, bruises and cuts. So not ok to be abusive to others. Violence is NEVER the answer.”

Avril Lavigne on getting jumped outside of the Hollywood Hotel Roosevelt this past weekend in LA.

You know, I’m not (like, even a little bit) a fan of Avril, but I completely agree. Some people take crap just too far. I don’t care how much you “hate” someone or how badly they annoy you for whatever reason, laying your hands in anger upon another person is just inexcusable, and frankly, completely trashy. I’m not saying that Avril was guilt-free in this scuffle, because I don’t know the entire story, but anyone – anyone – who’d resort to physically fighting is just way lame.