Lately Madame Tussauds has been losing its touch, I think. Ah, well: that didn’t stop the legendary museum from premiering its newest waxwork in London today.
Just at a glance, can you tell who this figure is meant to be? (I think I may have already given her identity away, if inadvertently. Oops.)
Still, I don’t know. I will say that this girl is one of my favorites. She’s talented, she’s mouthy, and she’s a Serial Naked—she will always strip down for her art—and I so want to love this new statue, if only out of a sense of allegiance, and yet there is something terribly, uncannily wrong with her face.
From certain angles, she’s OK. But from other angles, it’s almost like she has an underbite, or maybe a too-round chin. And there’s something wrong with her nose, as if she perpetually smells something foul. And her eyebrows are so low and dark on her face. And—as with the wax JLo figure—she looks so irritable! Gah!
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First, what kind of toad wears sunglasses during an interview? Yes, right, David Arquette. Second, he’s in love already and wouldn’t go back to the woman who supported him for all of these years even if she begged for the sake of their daughter? This guy’s a winner.
Incidentally, he’s “in love” with Christine McLarty, who used to date Girls Gone Wild‘s Joe Francis. Cute, huh?
Whoops! I see, now, that it is difficult to fit Brett Ratner‘s entire head on just one website. My apologies.
Let’s all catch up: a short while ago, X-Men 3 director Brett Ratner was doing press rounds for his new flick Tower Heist, which reportedly is not a good movie. (Surprise! Sorry, guys, I know you were excited.) And in the course of a Q&A, he actually managed to utter the phrase “Rehearsal is for f*gs.”
And on the one hand, Oh! How edgy and off-the-cuff, Mr. John Mayer! And on another hand: shut up, Ratner. Like, I get that he positions himself as this easygoing frat boy—but really? A homophobic slur? Must we use epithets to make a case for “everyman appeal”? Because being hateful and anti-intellectual is not “everyman.” Life is not Xbox Live, people. This garbage is crass and lame and obvious and stupid and hateful, and also not very edgy. And did I mention hateful? So you can see why nobody likes Brett Ratner right now.
So he said that, and it was already an inauspicious beginning to Brett Ratner’s week. Next he visited G4′s Attack of the Show and, while I guess he maybe intended to sell out Olivia Munn, Ratner basically confirmed that he has a small penis instead. Why he would do that, I have no idea. (I also have no idea how “shrimp grease” figures into it, and yet, even now, I am comfortable with my own lack of understanding.) Then Ratner apologized to Howard Stern (?), saying he never intended to make Miss Munn “look like a whore.”
But! Did you know that Brett Ratner was also producing this year’s Academy Awards? Ah! Let me emphasize “was,” because he is not producing them anymore. Rather, Brett Ratner has given up his roost.
Many times throughout the day, I find myself drifting off. Whatever I was thinking of or trying to focus on just slips away, and the remarkable beauty and effortless grace of Evan Rachel Wood consumes my mind, much like that awful “E.T.” song by Katy Perry or the case of whether or not Courtney Stodden has implants or “hey, I wonder what Kanye is thinking about right now?” It’s powerful, you guys, and I don’t think it’s going to go away any time soon.
But what about you, friends? Do you think Evan’s flapper ensemble is as precious as I do, or are you over it already?
“I’m not one of those actresses that maniacally prepare themselves for a role. On set, I do whatever I need to do, but day after the day. If I have to improvise, I improvise, if I have to learn my lines by heart, I do it. There are certain screenplays which are so beautiful, that they only need to be repeated as they are, without any changes. I live in the moment.”
Now, I could be misinterpreting Kristen here, but it sounds to me like she just admitted that her “acting style” consists of not doing any work and sometimes learning her lines. And I don’t think that’s ok. I mean, I know that Kristen Stewart is a wildly popular actress (which, by the way, says nothing about her talent or, in this case, the lack thereof), but I got my B.A. in acting, and I know a whole lot of professional actors, and not a one of them would find that little tidbit acceptable*.
The moral of the story, Kristen, is that maybe you should consider taking a few acting classes. It’s too late for poor Bella Swan, but maybe some other deserving character could benefit from it.
*Professional theatre actors, you guys, I’m not trying to name drop or sound fancy.
I would like to tell you that the term “retard” is very offensive to me. I am not offended because I ASSUME it would offend someone who has mental retardation. I am offened on how the word came to...
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