Lady Gaga released a teaser for her ‘Marry the Night’ video, and I’m really, really curious about your reactions to it. Even if you’re not a Gaga fan and haven’t even heard of this song or about the general hubbub surrounding the upcoming video – there’s no denying that it is, thus far, pretty intriguing.

Thoughts?

OK, dammit, I want an explanation on this one. Full-blown explanation as to why (and how! LOL) Dean McDermott accidentally posted a photo of wife Tori Spelling‘s tits. My curiosity, however, stems from the fact that Tori’s laying around with her tits hanging out. In front of her, what, almost five year old kid?

I get it, I really do – she’s probably breastfeeding, and the kid got a boo-boo or something and walked in in the middle of a feed. OK. Way embarrassing, right? Especially since it’s not the most flattering (realistic, yes, thank God) photo, you know?

The Tweet has since been pulled, but once the shit hits the ‘net, there’s no taking it back.

Anyway, there’s no taking it back, so click through to see the uncensored photos of the Tori Tittie Tweet that should have never been!

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Conan O’Brien makes the mistake of asking guest Jeff Goldblum what he thinks of the newish studio. “It feels fantastic,” Goldblum replies, clutching at air.

“I’m trying to drink it all in!” Goldblum says. Then he feels the desk, touches the leather, admires the flowers (“Real flowers? Orange! The guru’s color”).

“You’re such a strange man,” Conan finally blurts. “You’re very tactile.”

No, I don’t know why I’ve been so into Conan lately. But it probably has to do with all that envelope-pushing.

I do sure love me some Jeff Goldblum, though. I very briefly dated a fellow who was a lot like Jeff Goldblum, what with the childlike wonderment and all the grappling, and at the time it drove me insane. Insane. And now I think, what was wrong with me? Jeff Goldblum is the best!

Oh, just watch Jeff Goldblum awhile. You will be delighted. Jeff Goldblum will make your day. (And then watch this, which is my favorite Jeff Goldblum video. And then maybe print one of these out.)

The Associated Press and Harvey Levin’s Twitter simultaneously broke the news that Demi Moore is for sure, for serious, for realsies, divorcing Ashton Kutcher.

If you thought to yourself, Oh, boy, now Ashton really can date one of his stepdaughters, congratulations! You are as sick as I am.

Her official statement:

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.

This honestly makes me sad: I had hoped this pair of weirdos might work things out and make it through to the other side.

Oh, well. If Demi ever dates again, I hope she picks an adult next time.

What the holy ish is this ish?

Thomas Brodnicki, the guy who stalked starlet Selena Gomez all summer long, was dismissed from court yesterday. Superior Court Judge Edmund Wilcox Clarke Jr. (to quote Herb Welch, “Oh, pick a name“) ruled that the court could not prove Brodnicki’s “intent” to frighten or intimidate Gomez.

Wow, judge! What a triumph for the legal system! If we can make sure that just one innocent man—an innocent man who once stalked a woman out of a Des Plaines convenience store all the way to her college in Iowa, where he continued to stalk her for years—gets to go free, justice has been served!

No one knows whether the temporary restraining order, which requires that Brodnicki maintain a distance of 100 yards from Gomez, will also be dropped.

No, I admit, I am not too sure we need to criminalize the mentally ill, but this just doesn’t seem right, either.

UPDATE: Oh, wow. OK. Earlier today, Brodnicki was taken back into custody, this time for psychiatric evaluation. The LAPD Threat Management Unit hopes to “5150″ Brodnicki—that’s an “involuntary psychiatric hold.” I’d like to believe this was maybe the LAPD’s plan from the start, because this guy needs medical intervention.

Looks to me like Snooki‘s becoming quite the caricature of herself, huh?

I also love that absolutely no one is fazed by her presence. It’s like no one even cares. It’s like she’s as famous as Mario Lopez or something. I’m actually beginning to think that if I happened to see Snooki walking down the street at me, that I’d probably do my best to avoid even the most polite of eye contact, and instead of throwing her into the gutter where she belongs like I’d like to, I might actually take the high road and not try to contaminate myself with whatever funky disease she’s got that’s definitely contracted through slurred, flying spittle.