“Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with but now look at them. You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f—king idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’ …I’m not judging it. Well, I am, obviously.”

—Daniel Craig explains that he is a very private person in the January issue of British GQ. He might even dislike the Kardashians more than Michael Bublé does!

Daniel Craig goes on to describe his marriage which is, of course, shrouded in total secrecy. I could almost applaud Daniel Craig’s wooing and wedding of Rachel Weisz in near-clandestineness, except that A) I have been in shouting-from-the-rooftops love before, which kind of defies the principle of the whole “privacy” thing, but B) I also think secret marriages are kind of weird. (Then again, maybe Craig and Weisz have really overbearing mothers. In that case, I can dig it. To Vegas!)

But Craig isn’t finished:

“I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping your own counsel. …It’s not about being afraid to be public with your emotions or about who you are and what you stand for. But if you sell it off it’s gone. You can’t buy it back—you can’t buy your privacy back. ‘Ooh I want to be alone.’ F—k you! We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?”

Now that I’ve witnessed Daniel Craig going apeballs with righteous indignation over the Kardashian family, I can absolutely see why Rachel Weisz is in love with him. There is nothing more charming (to some of us, anyway) than a smart little man completely losing his mind over traffic jams, bad manners, and reality TV. Ah! I love it.

I’ve never quite gotten “into” True Blood—although I am pretty sure I can name the television show’s creator and stars offhand. But! If producers have their way, that might be about to change! (The part about actually watching True Blood, I mean.)

The-powers-that-be are apparently rallying hard to add Christopher Meloni to the HBO vampire drama’s cast. MY HEAD JUST BLEW UP. Can you even imagine? “Count Stabler”—that has such a nice ring to it.

Ooh! What if…

(more…)

Hayden Panettiere‘s boobs! [The Superficial]

Bradley Cooper‘s following Ryan Gosling around. [Lainey Gossip]

Kris Kardashian and Bruce Jenner are divorcing now. [Bossip]

Kate Beckinsale still has legs. [Starpulse]

J Woww’s got a gun. [TMZ]

And now Pan Am is over. [The Blemish]

Way back when Madonna was taking over magazines. [theBERRY]

Jason Segel‘s dating problem. [Huff Po]

Blind Items: what Twilight star is a coke fiend? [Hollywood Dame]

Amanda Seyfried’s ass. That’s all. [The Superficial]

What happened to Scarlett Johansson’s body? [Cele|bitchy]

Lady Gaga is worried that she’ll never find love. [Popbytes]

Michael Lohan might die soon. [IDLYITW]

When I was a kid, my parents didn’t make me go to church. I went to vacation bible school every summer, but that wasn’t so much because I was into church, it was more that I really missed going to school and I thoroughly enjoyed coloring pictures of Jesus. But when I stayed at my cousins’ house, my crazy aunt did make me go to church. I can remember packing up some clothes for a sleepover and being filled with excitement until my crazy aunt poked her head in my room to say “don’t forget some church clothes!”

And that is how I know that what Courtney Stodden is wearing up there is most certainly NOT church clothes. Church clothes are modest and conservative: nice cardigans and skirts that are at least knee length. Somehow Courtney missed that memo and instead wore her usual mess (Courtney, honey, your toes go inside your shoe) to church last Sunday.

Is this appropriate? Is it cute? Does anyone understand why she insists on wearing that awful arm band?

Image courtesy of E!

Did you detect a little bit of sarcasm in that headline up there? Because I wanted you to. See, Lady Gaga is so bizarre and, seemingly, a bit of a pill, so yeah, I can see where she would have a tough time in love. Is that catty? Well, go ahead and read this excerpt from Gaga’s interview with Vanity Fair, and if you didn’t roll your eyes once, then you can call me catty.

On happiness: “I have never felt truly cherished by a lover. I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man,” the singer tells contributing editor Lisa Robinson. “I say this honestly, and this is my new thing as of the past year: when I fight with someone I’m in a relationship with, I think, What would my fans think if they knew this was happening? How would they feel about my work and about me as a female if they knew I was allowing this to go on? And then I get out.”

On unicorns and rainbows: “I have this effect on people where it starts out good. Then, when I’m in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it’s all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.”

On being so talented: “Perhaps it’s a whose-dick-is-bigger contest. If I go to the piano and write a quick song and play it back, they are angry with how fast and effortless it is. That’s who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. But it’s a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone. I had a man say to me, ‘You will die alone in a house bigger than you know, with all your money and hit records, and you will die alone.’”

On intimidation: “Even though I know it sounds a bit Hallmark, whenever I [was] in that kind of stressful, worthless moment, I would think, I’ll show you.’” Gaga continues, “I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that what intimidates them is not my purse; it’s my mind.”

On proposals: Gaga says the weird thing is, after she’s left a few people, they’ve asked her to marry them. “How f*ckin’ romantic, you asshole. Sure, pop a ring on my finger and make it all better. I can buy myself a f*ckin’ ring.”

On her “Marry the Night” video: Robinson spends time on the set of Lady Gaga’s most raw and personal video to date, “Marry the Night.” It is “autobiographical,” according to Gaga, and required the grueling task of “getting ready to relive the worst day of my life.” She has never talked about it before. Prior to filming a hospital scene in which Gaga, appearing bruised and drugged up, is wheeled on a gurney into a women’s clinic, she asks Robinson and a few others in her trailer how far she should go with the re-enactment; she decides to commit to it fully. “It’s chaotic and sad. But I don’t want it to be safe,” she says.

Ugh. This girl is full of herself in the absolute worst way. I’m not entirely convinced that she has problems with relationships because people are intimidated by her mind. In fact, if I were one of Gaga’s potential suitors, I would be WAY more intimidated by her choice in footwear.

I am so, so sorry, you guys. I know that on Thanksgiving day, you were just sitting around with your boring old family, eating pedestrian turkey and peasanty stuffing. You hemmed and hawed every time somebody mentioned that dumb parade, and when your stupid cousin asked you to pass the potatoes, you could have just about bitten his head off. And who could blame you? Your mind was completely occupied with wondering what your favorite family was doing for the holidays!

Thanks to Khloe Kardashian and her blog, we don’t need to wonder anymore! Now we know that poor Bruce Jenner looked weird, Kourtney Kardashian‘s adorable son Mason was adorable, and that Dancing with the Star‘s Mark Ballas showed up to play a little guitar. Feel better? I know I do!

Oh, and speaking of Dancing with the Stars, guess who’s being courted to appear on the next season. Kris Jenner, y’all. Could the day get any better?