Here’s some news that is sure to thrill 10% of you!

“Netflix is gassing up the staircar!” Jason Bateman tweeted yesterday (see image of staircar, above), adding, “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to wear a pair of khakis.”

YOU READ RIGHT! A new season of Arrested Development (get with it! Emily mentioned this last month) is coming to your laptops, Xboxes, and iPads, not to mention your Wiis, Boxees, PS3s, and what-the-heck-ever else, thanks to a new deal with Netflix.

Arrested Development was canceled in 2006; since then, Netflix has been experimenting with original streaming content. And now Netflix has been charged with Arrested Development‘s very resurrection! It’s great news for everybody!

Depending on your television-watching proclivities this is very exciting news—and if you aren’t excited, what is the matter with you?—but nonetheless, try to hold onto your butts. According to some sources, the show won’t “air” until 2013. Blah. But oh, well! Masterpieces take time.

(Image via Bill Mudron. I think I am obligated to also tell you that you can currently buy this print for five damn American dollars. Love you, Bill!)

Jeremy London—not to be confused with twin brother Jason London, which I’m sure Jason loves—has had his share of legal qualms in the past. London’s addiction problems have been preeeetty well documented; a year and a half ago, he and his estranged wife both (?!) lost custody of their son, Lyrik.

I’m not sure this new wrinkle is altogether related, but here goes, anyway: Jeremy London is sought for questioning in Palm Springs, California, due to a domestic squabble. Yesterday morning, London’s girlfriend called police after a “verbal altercation over custody of the couple’s child became violent,” the Huffington Post reports. London’s lawyer, Catherine Lombardo, says the girlfriend fabricated the story.

And that’s it; that’s all. That’s all we know so far.

I have a little soft spot for Jeremy London. It’s definitely my nostalgia talkin’, but I love his clueless-in-love, flannel-clad role as T.S. in Mallrats. And remember the time London claimed he was carjacked, abducted, and forced to smoke meth all night? Yeah, turns out that was totally true—a detective testified that kidnapper Brandon Adams had confessed to holding London against his will, and Adams was convicted of the crime.

Get better soon, Jeremy.

UPDATE: OK, this makes a lot more sense. Radar is now reporting that the phone call came from none other than Jeremy London’s ex-wife, Melissa Cunningham. This conflicts with the earlier report that some random new girlfriend had phoned Palm Springs police. Also, Cunningham’s hand was injured in the fray. Her hand.

This video finally went all-the-way-viral yesterday, but I thought I’d save it for today, since weekends can be tough.

I ordinarily think of Jason Schwartzman as an actor of distinguished subtlety and nuance, but I’m going to have to rethink that stance. Schwartzman’s bedazzled, satin-gloved host (of a segment called “Cast Iron Cook”) is all flared nostrils and crazy eyes. And shouting!

But the costume is the best part, maybe! It’s such a good imitation of Chairman Kaga’s distinctive lamé cape! And did you notice the little veggie embellishments on Schwartzman’s brocade chest and collar? Ah! So cute!

It looks like Lindsay Lohan’s ex, Samantha Ronson, is back in the swing of dating. So who’s the lucky lady? And more importantly, who does that baby belong to?

The Daily Mail and the ol’ photo wire both identify Sam’s trim blonde friend (they can share skinny-legged jeans!) as 29-year-old Erin Foster. Yeah, me neither. But after some digging, I see that she is the ex-stepsister of Brody Jenner. And she was on The O.C., too! So those are some things!

Anyway, the baby is apparently Foster’s niece. The couple took the kid to a park in Beverly Hills yesterday, and Ronson was always right there at the bottom of the slide, waiting to catch the kid. (D’aaawww.) In other photos, they’ve spread a towel or blanket on the grass, probably to have a picnic. And Ronson looks so happy in these photos! Hell, so does the baby.

In still other photos, Erin Foster and Samantha Ronson are both using the park’s wastebasket. I threw out those photos—it’s like, why?—but I thought you might want to know. Samantha Ronson never litters.

We all moan at the Hollywood movie machine, what with all its big-budget rehashes. And, ugh, especially the CG demakes—I mean, Garfield? The Smurfs? Yogi Bear?

But I’ll tell you the truth: I would love to be that sinister movie executive who trolls Wikipedia in the middle of the night, searching for ever-more-obscure movie ideas, ordering tens of writers at a time to write up live-action versions of Akira or whatever, just basically flinging spaghetti at the kitchen sink.

If I were a sinister movie executive, bereft of all creativity, I would order up a live-action Jetsons! Live-action Jonny Quest! Live-action Bravestarr! Live-action Archie, where only Jughead is computer-generated! (But he eats real hamburgers, and real food sprays everywhere when Jughead eats or talks. Live-action Jetsons might do the same type of thing with Rosey and Astro. See? I have totally thought this through.)

Point is, a Woody Woodpecker movie is in development. That’s right: this is really happening. You can’t stop it. Don’t try to fight it.

I wonder which version of Woody Woodpecker they’re planning to go with. I mean, every iteration of Woody Woodpecker has been ragingly obnoxious, but the character has been revamped over and over since the ’40s. I grew up with a totally radical 1980s woodpecker, for instance.

John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky, who together make up half the writing team that penned Blades of Glory, are writing the Woody Woodpecker script. (Altschuler executive-produced King of the Hill, so it can’t be all bad, can it?)

George of the Jungle. Now there was a movie. Am I right or what?

Hey! If you were an emotionally and creatively bankrupt movie exec, what would you remake?

Earlier this week, Bradley Cooper was named People‘s Sexiest Man of the Year, and I was like “what.” In my mind, this was an active choice to deny Ryan Gosling his rightful title as the most attractive male celebrity of 2011. And I wasn’t ok with that.

As it turns out, a lot of other people weren’t ok with it either. In the video above, you can see a number of people protesting outside of People‘s headquarters with inspirational chants like “Bradley Cooper is just fine, but Ryan Gosling is divine,” and moving signs that read messages like “Hey Girl, I know magazines often create a false dichotomy, catalyze unhealthy standards for female body image and further divide an already strained gender gap … but I totally should have been People‘s sexiest man of the year.”

I am moved beyond words.