Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hey, Who Remembers Paris Hilton?

photo of paris hilton on vacation pictures photos skimpy bikini weight loss pic
Is it too soon for that headline? Should we wait, I don’t know, another few weeks before we drag that one out? Either way, I’d say it’s safe to say that Parasite’s career is pretty much done, right? She’s going to have whatever money she’s already got for probably the rest of her life, but there’s not enough money in the world to resurrect the “career” she claimed to have (hear that, Kim Kardashian? Do you hear that?), and she knows it.

So what does she do? Pose provocatively whilst on vacation in hopes that some newspaper or celebrity gossip site – not so unlike this here celebrity gossip site – would pick up the photos and run with them, saying “Ooh, my, Paris is looking so great these days, and she’s toned down all that crazy, and [fill in the blank with other Paris-desired accolades about growing up],” but I can tell you (and Paris) that it’s not going to be found here.

She’s still the same old shapeless, vapid, wonky-faced twit she was back when she was more popular-ish, hanging out with people like Britney and Lindsay, making tacky sex tapes in night vision, and being a racist, classist ho.

Nothing’s changed, really, other than she’s even more pathetic than she used to be because she thinks we’ve forgotten who she is inside.

Go dry up somewhere, Paris.

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