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6Snooki Doesn’t Read, Wants to Be on The Office

A photo of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Oh, how I love Snooki! I think it has to do with her “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude, her ambition, and the way she does her nails. Either way, Snooki did a delightful little interview with GQ in which we learn that she can do surgery on animals, she voted for McCain, and that “everyone can suck it.”

GQ: So, I’ve got to ask: You’ve really never heard of J.K. Rowling or Maya Angelou?
Snooki: I don’t read. I don’t like to read Harry Potter or anything like that. It’s not my style.

GQ: But you’re a New York Times best-selling author!
Snooki: Yeah, doesn’t mean I have to read.

GQ: When are we going to see you on the big screen?
Snooki: Well, I did cameos in two movies already that should be out next year but I would love to be on a sitcom like The Office.

GQ: If you were on The Office now, which character would you like to play?
Snooki: I would have been the one to replace Steve Carell and take over. I could be a boss.

GQ: Some people compare the word Guido to the N-word. Do you think that’s a fair comparison?
Snooki: I think that’s ridiculous. The N-word is seriously offensive. “Guido” is used as a lifestyle—like being a prep, skater, gothic. We’re Guidos. Plus, I’m not even Italian!

GQ: How do you feel about Obama’s performance so far?
Snooki: Um, I didn’t vote for Barack Obama, but I’m supportive of him obviously because he is our president and hopefully he can fix this country because it sucks right now.

GQ: Did you vote?
Snooki: Of course, I voted for McCain.

GQ: Out of the GOP candidates, those that were rumored, dropped out or are still in it, who would you vote for?
Snooki: Donald Trump, I would vote for him. Trump would make this country better I feel. He gets shit done.

GQ: If you were producing Jersey Shore, what would you do differently?
Snooki: I wouldn’t show as much drinking and partying. I would show more of us chilling out and having a good time—which they don’t show. We don’t even drink those nights, but we laugh all night. They don’t show anything but us drinking and hooking up.

GQ: What was your major?
Snooki: Veterinarian tech. Test me and bring me to a hospital. I can induce an animal, do surgery, do anesthesia, and take blood. So if you want to tell me I’m stupid again, let’s go to an animal hospital.

GQ: What’s an animal that you’ve worked with before?
Snooki: I did dogs and cats. I’ve actually worked with ducks, drew blood from a horse, and stuck my hand in a cow’s ass.

GQ: You have a camera on you nearly all the time these days. Is there anything we don’t know about you?
Snooki: I don’t think so. I just know that I’m going to be 98 pounds again and everyone can suck it.

Man, someone sure sounds defensive, huh? And did anyone else find it bizarre that Snooki voted for McCain? I mean, I know they’re bros and all, but come on now. Also, why has no one developed a reality show based on Snooki’s veterinary adventures? Seriously, get it together, MTV.

Did you learn anything new about our dear Snooki today?

November 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Emily

6 Responses to “Snooki Doesn’t Read, Wants to Be on The Office

  1. archphoenix says:

    I can’t even get past the crooked eyes. That’s what really freaking me out.

  2. Nikki says:

    Oh god, I’m studying to be a Vet Tech. I can’t imagine this dumbass doing anything like that.

  3. Jess says:

    Sometimes I wonder if it’s all an act or if there’s actually someone in existence who is THAT stupid.

  4. brooklyn says:

    what a stupid gash

  5. Maria says:

    Her behavior is disgusting. So low class, but as long as we all pay attention she will keep hogging the pubic spotlight. She is getting a bit boring…maybe the Snooki frenzy is nearing the end of it’s ride.

  6. kc says:

    Her Vet Tech comment showed what an idiot she is. I went for Vet Tech and Techs for no reason are allowed to do surgery. Techs monitor the animal, but only Vets are allowed to do surgery. I thought that she was an idiot before, now I know she is.

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