Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Aww, Kris Humphries Doesn’t Want Kim Kardashian to Go!

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

And really, can you blame him? Poor Kris Humphries didn’t even know that his true love, Kim Kardashian, was actually filing for divorce until yesterday morning, just a few hours before the rest of us found out. And, understandably, Kris is very, very sad about things.

Here’s his official statement:

“I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

Bless his giant heart, right? Seriously though, I did feel bad for Kris for about three seconds after I read this, but then I thought “wait, it’s these people.” Then I shook my head and thought about how I should paint my fingernails next*.

Here’s a bonus fact for your enjoyment: Kim and Kris first met on Halloween of 2010. That means that these crazy kids met, courted, “fell in love,” got married, and filed for divorce all in one wacky, busy year. Oh, the life of a Kardashian, can I get an “amen”?

*I’ve been water marbling, and it’s super neat!

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • How could he not have know? I mean, even my dog knew this was about to happen!. The tabloids had been screaming it for days, so the fact that he says he was “blindsided” sounds a little rehearsed to me.

  • The word marriage keeps popping up. What marriage?! These two weren’t in a marriage. The whole thing was as genuine as an Ukrainian stripper’s acrylic nails.

    I can’t believe that this awesome blog succumbs to the fakeness of this whole dumb affair.

  • Ooo I googled water marbling and have just spent a very instructive ten minutes watching youtube vids – it seems so fun! Did it work or was it terribly difficult?

  • Can people stop watching her show NOW! Was it a publicity stunt People Magazine asks? Give us break. How many times can people that watch her show get hit in the face with smelling trash & say hay i’m really into. c’mon America have some ethics

  • Prediction: Kim K loses all her sponsors- & her show [dispite reports] Doesn’t come out of hiding [if she’s hiding] & the people that handle the Karashian’s money rob them blind [legally] b’ cause the Kardasian’s are that F- ‘n stupid.