It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Britney Spears photo: George
“Better check the beaming machine, Scotty, it seems to be on low power.”

First runner-up: Dillon
“The treasure trolls have finally found a place for themselves in the 21st century.”

Second runner-up: Lauren
“Hehehehe y’all it’s like I’m Simba or somethin’!” Know what we do with pop stars who step out of their kingdom? Conservatorship.”

Congrats to George! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!

Because they did! And I know a lot of you guys probably immediately thought of the EB staff here when you heard the news, but I can assure you: I’ve been sick as hell for the past few days, and though I wouldn’t put it past myself to do something like that normally, I just haven’t been up for it. I’m not sure what Jenn was doing when all this went down, but personally, I’d be looking at Emily before anyone. I mean, the three of us have all got a bit of malice concern when it comes to LeAnn, but she and Emily? Guys, they go way back.

What LeAnn had to say:

“To address the accident that happened in front of our home this morning, everyone is ok and safe. However, if drunk driving was involved it is terribly sad. My family could have been seriously injured and any situation where someone is drinking and driving should not be taken lightly. Needless to say, it was a very unsettling call to receive this morning. Thank goodness the young driver and everyone at home are ok.”

I’m so hoping that drunk driving did not have a thing to do with the incident, because then I’ll just have more ammo when it comes to “talking” about girlfriend here. I mean, come on. Way to assume and make a WHOLE STATEMENT based on something that may or may not be true.

… Want a job, LeAnn?

Did you hear the news? The iPhone 5 will be unveiled, rumor has it, at noon (CST) today!

But 20 years ago, Zack Morris was on the bleeding edge of Mobile Information Technologies. And no wonder Zack was so smug! He was the first high-schooler to ever have his cell phone confiscated by the principal!

What’s weird is how, in the course of Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris upgrades to a slick, silver flip-phone, but then promptly downgrades to his former black brick. And then he downgrades again, to a massive beige log! Financial troubles in the Morris household, maybe?

Thanks, Buzzfeed.

My in-laws can drink me under the table.

—Claire Danes, on “British pub culture” and, more specifically, on husband Hugh Dancy’s comparatively hard-drinkin’ parents.

I just love this quote. I know “celebrity gossip” is moralistic, always quick to finger-wag at fast-and-loud living; after all, every other story is Car Wreck this and Trainwreck that. Still, there is something so endearing about prim Claire Danes loosening up and learning how to shotgun a Guinness (or cider, or whatever it is you Brits slam in the morning before you take the Tube to your fancy jobs).

Danes’ entire quote, in context, from Pop2it:

She tells OK! that since marrying Hugh Dancy, she’s embraced British pub culture with a particular enthusiasm.

In fact, she says she now struggles to politely sip wine at parties when she’s back in the States. “I’ve been in training for a number of years now. They’re not kidding [in Britain],” she says. “My in-laws can drink me under the table. I’ve now come to really enjoy pub culture but there was a transitional period where I was sort of like, ‘What is this?’”

The difference, she says, is in the lack of distraction in England. “They sit in one seat and drink for about seven hours straight,” she says. “[Americans] drink, but we drink and do other things, like, we drink and eat or we drink and dance or we drink and, like, take a walk and go drink somewhere else. They talk, and that’s probably why they’ve produced such witty, clever people.”

I haven’t hopped the pond since I was 16—so I was way too young to acquaint myself with so-called “British pub culture”—but this quote really rings true to me. I do remember that social norms are scarily different here, insofar as we in the U.S. recognize “familiarity” upon first introduction as good “people skills”; abroad, a wide grin and too-soon hugging could be construed as, if not unmannerly, outright sinister. Is this an accurate read, Europeans?

And that social rigidity explains the need for a culture of “socially acceptable loosening-up,” AKA drinking in one spot for seven long hours. (Or as I call it, ‘dating’!)

Ohhhh, I’m totally JK’ing, you guys, but only sort of. Please, somebody explain “pub culture” to me. **Hangs head; scarfs an entire Shepherd’s Pie in shame**

I like Kate Winslet a lot, I really do. I think she’s one of the most beautiful women working in Hollywood today, and every quote of hers I’ve ever read is endearing in one way or another. So when I read these excerpts from Kate’s interview with Harper’s Bazaar, I was really excited. Here, I’ll share:

On her divorce from her second husband, Sam Mendes: “One thing I will say about me and Sam is that it’s fine, it’s really fine. I’m not going to shit-fling, there’s no point in even going there. It is what it is. We’re grown-ups at the end of the day, and however hard it’s been for me, it’s been equally hard for him. And we have a child together who we both love – and raising him together, jointly and without any conflict, is absolutely key. It’s the only way to do it, and I’ve really learned that with Mia [Kate's daughter with her first husband].”

On “soldiering on”: “As a woman, especially when you have children, one gets so good at soldiering on – almost too good. I probably had very few moments of allowing that sadness to emerge. I kept pushing it away, not even really sharing it a huge amount with friends. Because you know what it’s like, as soon as you open that can of worms, it’s so f*cking big, you wish you’d never taken the goddamn lid off.”

On relating to her role in Mildred Pierce: “There’s a woman with a heart, a soul and a genuine capacity for emotion, having not been truly touched for years. I can really relate to that scene…? because it’s part of life – sex, lovemaking, those glorious moments of passion between two people. To be beautiful, in these moments – that’s the power of genuine longing and intensity, and I crave those feelings in life, those experiences. That’s why I’ve never needed drugs; I’ve avoided druggy, boozy circles of people. I don’t need anything synthetic to get that sense of elation… I feel I’m just at the beginning of a new narrative, and it’s incredibly exciting.”

On her children: “There’s no way that I’m going to allow my children to be f*cked up because my marriages haven’t worked out. I so wish that that wasn’t the case – that that hadn’t happened in my life. But it has, so I will make the best of it – and I am.”

I never knew Kate Winslet had such a potty mouth, did you? Regardless, I still think she’s an admirable woman, and all her droppings of the f bomb and her ballsy perspective sort of make me love her even more. Anyone else?

This month, Kristen Stewart is on the cover of not one, but two magazines: Glamour and British GQ. She also has two distinctly different looks. Your job is to judge which one is better!