Anna Faris is ready to start a family with her hubby, actor Chris Pratt of “Parks and Recreation” and Moneyball! Yaaaay! They are going to have the cutest, funniest, most talented babies.

But before the loving couple gets down to work (heh), they need to tie up some loose ends. So: Chris Pratt asked his Twitter followers whether anyone were interested in adopting Anna’s beloved cat.

Bad move! Reports Us,

Unfortunately, Pratt’s inquiry was met with a several rude comments and even death threats, prompting the actor to address the situation on his official website.

“To those of you somehow hung up on the notion that I kicked the walker out from underneath our cat and threw her into the streets, first of all, cats don’t use walkers, so that’s a ridiculous notion,” Pratt wrote. “Secondly, I found my aging cat a g—damn loving home! Ease up with the death threats for Heaven’s sake!”

It looks like Mr. Pratt removed his blog post shortly after, and Google Cache has no memory of it. Grr!

I really feel for Chris Pratt. Don’t get me wrong—I would never get rid of my boyfriend’s cat. Or any cat! And I say that as a person who is allergic to cats (not deathly, no, but palpably).

But my best friend is an expectant mother, and her heart is totally crushed: she probably/definitely has to give up her beloved cat, Elton. Mind you, this isn’t like a weird 1700s superstition thing. That demon-cat has been feral since he was a kitten, and he has only become more freaking sinister these last ten years. He always slinks into the guest bedroom in the middle of the night and claws me in the eye. I have to lock the door! I’m telling you, given the chance, that cat would totally gnaw a baby’s face off. Fact.

Lindsay. Lindsay. I know we’ve never met, but I do read magazines, and I’ve always felt like we have kind of a big sister/little sister kinship thing happening. No? Well, whatever.

Anyway. In 2009, you employed a limo service. Within a scant three months, you, Miss Lohan, racked up a bill of $33,978. I applaud you for not driving yourself, since, uh, well, I guess legally you couldn’t drive yourself. But still! Good for you!

But seriously, woman. Pay your bills. Because that teeny-weeny $30K bill has ballooned into $90,586, thanks to late fees and penalties. Plus you’re getting sued (as per usual). Don’t you feel sheepish now?

I know you don’t know what it’s like to enter your 30s still trying to pay off Fannie Mae, all because you had the audacity to get a worthless undergrad degree in the humanities, but seriously—get with it, Lohan. That gigantic, looming bill won’t magically vanish, no matter how tightly you close your eyes and will it away.

Also? When you owe a big bill, mmmmmaybe don’t run out and buy a Porsche priced at $80,000. Just some sisterly advice.

Here it is: the first official trailer for The Raven, starring John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe. Who! Incidentally! Is caught in the middle of a string of gruesome murders, each of them copycatted from a Poe suspense story. And IT’S UP TO EDGAR ALLAN POE TO STOP THE MYSTERIOUS MURDERER BEFORE THE MURDERER KILLS SOMEONE VERY CLOSE TO EDGAR ALLAN POE. That is what I deduced entirely from the trailer, like the masterly detective I am.

But I can’t believe how seriously this trailer takes itself! Usually I am thrilled by movie trailers; I want to go right out and watch the movie advertised, no matter how piss-poor the preview. But not this time, Poe! Instead, I am eyeing you warily! My mother told me to never trust a man with such manicured facial hair, and she was right. How can I take that goatee seriously? I ask you.

The trailer isn’t all bad. I can pick out “Pit and the Pendulum” and maybe “Masque of Red Death.” And I mean, I was a big fan of Sleepy Hollow, and I started to really enjoy From Hell upon seventh or eighth viewing. Hmm. Best guess: the mustache/goatee combo is supposed to trick us into thinking we’re watching Johnny Depp.

Image via Huffington Post.

“I said to myself, ‘I’m an awesome naked lady.’”

Evan Rachel Wood to Elle, on how she prepares for nude scenes.

I don’t think you’d find too many hard-pressed to disagree here. She’s a lady. She’s hot, and when she’s naked, she’s probably even hotter. I wouldn’t know, though, because all I can think about when I hear the words “Evan Rachel Wood” and “nudes” in the same sentence is Marilyn Manson, baby powder, and explicit, bloody home photos. And that’s just not that hot.

How about you show us, Rachel, just what you’re talking about, sans blood, sans Manson, and sans smeared lipstick? We just might surprise you, you know, girl?

Such a sad little story for a little family to endure. If you guessed it was Bindi and Bob Irwin, son of deceased “Croc Hunter” Steve Irwin, you’re right – and if you don’t think she’s the spitting image of her father, then I don’t know what you tell you. GET SOME GLASSES. She looks just like him.

Either way, hasn’t she just grown up to be the most adorable little lady? And how about their boy, Bob? Adorable.

Hey everybody! This is Sophia Grace Brownlee, singing Nicki Minaj’s ‘Super Bass’. Are you frightened yet? Hold your horses: she also performs Keri Hilson’s ‘Turn My Swag On’. But back to ‘Superbass’, you all know the lyrics to this song, right? If not, well, here they are in their uncensored entirety:

This one is for the boys with the boomin’ system
Top down, AC with the coolin’ system
When he come up in the club, he be blazin’ up
Got stacks on deck like he savin’ up

And he ill, he real, he might got a deal
He pop bottles and he got the right kind of build
He cold, he dope, he might sell coke
He always in the air, but he never fly coach

He a muthaf*ckin trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship
When he make it drip, drip kiss him on the lip, lip
That’s the kind of dude I was lookin’ for
And yes you’ll get slapped if you’re lookin’ ho

I said, excuse me you’re a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my, my you’re like pelican fly
I mean, you’re so shy and I’m loving your tie
You’re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh

Yes I did, yes I did
Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away
Beating like a drum and it’s coming your way
Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass?

He got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Yeah that’s that super bass

This one is for the boys in the Polos
Entrepreneur niggas in the moguls
He could ball with the crew, he could solo
But I think I like him better when he dolo

And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on
He ain’t even gotta try to put the mac on
He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look
Then the panties comin’ off, off, unh

Excuse me, you’re a hell of a guy
You know I really got a thing for American guys
I mean, sigh, sickenin’ eyes
I can tell that you’re in touch with your feminine side, oh

Yes I did, yes I did
Somebody please tell him who the eff I is
I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up
Back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin’ away
Beating like a drum and it’s coming your way
Can’t you hear that boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass?

He got that super bass
Boom, badoom, boom
Boom, badoom, boom bass
Yeah that’s that super bass

Sophia Grace Brownlee, huh? She does a better job than Nicki Minaj. I personally prefer Sophia’s version, but that’s just me. Also, if you played the video back a second time to see if Sophia’s mother allowed her to say “motherfu*ckin’,” then you’re not alone. I DID TOO.

Here’s Sophia’s kicked-up version of ‘Turn My Swag On’.