On Saturday, the Harvard Crimson played against the Cornell Big Red. Yeah, I didn’t know about the game, either. (I was originally going to make a joke about Ivy League football, but I guess the Harvard Crimson is actually a pretty good team, so pooh on me.)

Also pretty good: both universities’ marching bands. After Harvard’s band’s performance of the Ghostbusters theme—it’s part of their set during football games—an older gentleman in salmon-colored pants approached them in the bleachers.

“Hey, play that song again,” the man said.

Why, the man in questionable pants was none other than freaking Bill Murray, who had been hiding in plain sight all along. Harvard’s newspaper, The Crimson, has most of the story (via the Huffington Post:

Once Murray returned to his seat to watch the last quarter of the game, the trombone section pointed itself in his direction and played the theme song for him one more time. At the end of the game, Murray reappeared and treated the band to a special performance. “We were playing our fight songs, and he came over and started mock-conducting us,” [Band Manager Rachel L. Hawkins] said.

There’s a little dispute in The Crimson‘s comments section over whether Cornell University’s marching band also played “Ghostbusters” during the game; turns out, Cornell played along with Harvard during both performances of the song. Human sacrifice! Cornell and Harvard playing songs together! Mass hysteria!

The Huffington Post account of the football game gets a little murky, since Murray actually hung out with both schools’ marching bands after the football game [insert cute, witty joke about Bill Murray "playing for both teams," ha, ha]. But we do know there was an unofficial victor in the Ghostbuster song-off. …Cornell!

“Harvard won the game, but you kicked their band’s ass,” Murray hooted from the conductor’s platform, after applauding Cornell for their rousing post-game rendition of The Who’s “Pinball Wizard.” The students cheered.

Image of Bill Murray posing with Harvard’s marching band via IvyGate.

OK, first of all, how creepy is it that people can’t go CAMPING without photographers lurking in the dark shadows of the trees? That really freaks me out. I mean, me, when I go camping, I worry. I worry about bears (had one rush our campsite once), hook-wielding insane asylum escapees (too many scary stories as a kid), and backwoods Deliverance fiends, and yet people like Ashton and Demi have to worry about people intentionally hiding, intentionally skulking around in the forest behind them? That’s just mad creepy if you ask me.

Creepy or not, though, this is allegedly the last-ditch effort to try and save a violated marriage, and Ashton and Demi have brought out the big Kabbalah guns – they even took them camping with them. From Radar Online:

Two and a Half Men star Ashton Kutcher used Yom Kippur, the holiest and most solemn day of the year for Jews, to beg his heartbroken wife Demi Moore for forgiveness — at a campfire heart-to-heart in Santa Barbara, Calif., RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

And it gets better – supposedly Demi Moore freaked out at the woman who took the photograph:

Looking gaunt and tired, Demi confronted the amateur photographer and tried in vain to block the woman’s camera, screaming in her face: “Please don’t take photos of me or my family. Please don’t expose this.”

Demi and the camper went nose-to-nose before the hostile star scurried back to the camp and ordered Ashton and their three friends to hide inside their tent in a bid to avoid being snapped further, according to an eye Witness.

“Demi was screaming,” the onlooker told Star. “Once she knew she had been photographed, she whistled at Ashton and gestured for him to hurry into the tent.”

So then … good luck, I guess?

It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Courtney Stodden photo: Challis
“This is actually the preferred mating stance for the T-Rex.”

First runner-up: mdmike4
“Why am I soooooo attracted to fossils?”

Second runner-up: Dillon
“You can’t fool me Stodden, I learned my lesson a long time ago when Aladdin went wondering into the cave of wonders.”

Congrats to Challis! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!

If you’re not, then you should really consider it. I know this because a few weeks ago, my boyfriend took me out and got me a cupcake and a teddy bear and then we went back home and he said that he wanted me to hear this song that he thought I’d really like, which turned out to be Lana’s “Video Games,” which you can listen to here. It was a really magical day, just as Lana Del Rey seems to be a really magical singer, and I think we should all just settle in to this, all right?

Remember that time that Octomom had all those financial troubles and she almost lost her house? And then she had to do those creepy photos with that dude in the diaper to get some money? Well, those days are gone, because good ol’ Nadya Suleman just landed herself a role in a horror flick. Score!

Here’s the story from TMZ:

Octomom is starring a low-budget horror film called Millennium. Octo plays a woman named Vanessa, who visits a haunted house with her friend Brad and his date Jessica. But turns out Jessica’s a demon (yes, there’s a plot hole — Octo getting knocked up by a female demon).

According to Octo’s manager, doing this film makes her eligible for SAG health benefits — which means she’ll cut her health care premiums in half.

In all honesty, this actually sounds like a pretty fun deal, doesn’t it? Personally, I would love to get to play around in a cheap scary movie, and if she gets those sweet health benefits, then she should have a lot less to worry about financially. Who knows, maybe she can start to afford all those babies that she hates!

This girl, I just can’t. I love her. I love Evan Rachel Wood, and it’s weird. It’s weird and bizarre and extremely unlikely, but it’s love nonetheless, and I can’t fight it anymore.

What do you think: does Evan do a good job covering His Majesty Justin Bieber? Isn’t she a perfect little dollop of sunshine and loveliness? Do you love her yet, too?