You’ve heard the song! You’ve seen the photos! Now watch the music video!

Here’s Betty White, this time in delicious .flv form, in an epic diva-off with English pop star Luciana.

Last time I covered Betty’s version of Luciana’s “I’m Still Hot,” it didn’t occur to me to listen to the lyrics too carefully. Shame on me! The video is for Lifeline, a program that allows you to sell your life insurance policy off in exchange for beaucoup bucks (it’s something only the terminally ill used to be able to do). Wow! And if this video is to be trusted, you can frivol your insurance away on a mountain of pectorally undulating Rocky Horrors and, also, on that velour tracksuit you’ve always wanted. Of course!

Disturbing message aside, this video is really kind of cute.

Settle in, everyone. Maybe grab a glass of wine, let your hair down, and slip into something more comfortable, because Courtney Love is about to regale us with the beautiful tale of the greatest romance of the twentieth century:

The first time Kurt and I slept together was at a Days Inn in Chicago. We were having our first postcoital moment, and we’re watching MTV and the video ["Smells Like Teen Spirit"] came on. I pulled away from him, because it was his video, his moment, he was the king of the f*cking world, and he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. Which was symbolic, like, “I’m letting you into my life.” That really endeared him to me. The next time I saw the video with him was at the Omni Northstar Hotel in Minneapolis. I’d flown there to f*ck Billy Corgan, who still had lots of hair. I didn’t even know Nirvana were playing that night. Kurt and I wound up at the Northstar, and our daughter, Frances, was basically made that night. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was on MTV every five f*cking minutes.

So sweet, right? Did that story give you goosebumps too? My favorite was the part where they conceived Frances on the night that Courtney flew in to sex up Billy Corgan. What was yours?

Cute kid, right? I would even go so far as to say “adorable.” But this just goes to show that even horrendous brats can be cute as a button, because this is actually a photo of one of the most annoying ladies around these parts.

Do you have a guess?

(more…)

I know, this is such great news, isn’t it?! I think it’s truly amazing what the human body can do for true love, but it’s true: Jared Padalecki from Supernatural is expecting his first child. Jensen Ackles from Supernatural is the father. The child was conceived on the set of Supernatural, and, as such, it will be born with extraordinary powers. There’s no word on whether or not some demon with yellow eyes will sneak into the nursery when the baby is six months old in order to feed him some demon blood.

Oh, sorry, what? I apologize, I thought I was brainstorming some fan fiction, not making a post for Evil Beet! Is this embarrasing or what?!

Ok, for real, Jared Padalecki’s wife, Genevieve Cortese (yeah, the girl who played the second Ruby [I hated the second Ruby, didn't you?]), is pregnant with the couple’s first child. We learned this from a number of adorable messages from Jared via Twitter:

Hey guys- I’ve been hearing a lotta rumors and getting a lotta questions so I’d like to go ahead and say that OF COURSE I’m not pregnant!

Ooohh!! Jeez well now I feel silly. Sorry, i simply fundamentally misunderstood the inquiries. To clarify, “I” am not pregnant, and “Genevie

Stupid character limit! Sorry-I was about to tell yall something and it cut me off! Wont happen again. Now what was it y’all were wondering?

OK yall I’d rather you officially hear it from me.. So, yes. Genevieve is pregnant. We’ll be welcoming a new member to our family in 2012 :)

Oh, them Supernatural boys. Will they ever not be amazing?

“He is handsome, he is great… I love him. I read that his greatest love is an 11-and-a-half-year-old dog… In human, that’s about 78 years. So Ryan… Guess who else is 78 and also likes it doggy style?”

- Joan Rivers, as usual, doesn’t hold back about her feelings for Ryan Gosling.

You know, it doesn’t really matter if you love her or if you hate her, but Joan Rivers does have this certain kind of fearlessness about her, and she goes after what she wants, and you can’t not respect her for that. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised if we got some pictures in the next few months of Ryan carrying Joan through airports with love. Would you be into it?

No? How about Chester T. Hanks, then, son of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson? In all honesty, I didn’t even know there was another Hanks son aside from Colin, who did that one show for awhile. You remember him.

This is Chet’s ‘Hollywood,’ his new single, which is a break-free from his, ahem, budding rap career. The song is … well, it’s bad, and the lyrics are even worse. “Let me be your manager, I could give you fame.” It kind of speaks for itself. But you know what? Something I freely admit? I watched the entire damn thing because I think CHET IS HOT. And that’s completely OK with me.