“He has been a special for me, and very important, just as a father would be. Between us there was more of a father-daughter relationship. I was unable to clarify this up ’til now.”
This sounds great, right? It sounds like paradise, actually. I know that there have been times in my life when I’ve been dating someone and I’ve thought to myself “you know what would make this romantic relationship even more special? If we had more of a father-daughter dynamic going on.” And that’s why this little revelation makes me a little angry, because Elisabetta and George had that, and they threw it all away.
You don’t let something that special go, Elisabetta. Once you find a partner that you see as a parental figure, you grab on with both hands, and you hold on tight. Better luck next time, girl. You live and learn*.
*Why yes, I did thoroughly creep myself out with this whole story.
Happy Halloween, friends! Since today is supposed to be such a spooky day, I figured that we’d kick it off with one of the spookiest things I can think of: Joan Rivers! Joan is dressed up as poor little Suri Cruise, and we can’t see it, but I’m sure the rest of the costume includes heels and a palpable sense of entitlement. Oh, and penis candy. We can’t forget the penis candy!
Sweet shirt, right? Are you digging it as much as I am? It’s completely ok if you are, because LOOK AT ALL THE KITTIES! The white one has a little bow on his neck, do you see it?! Don’t you just love it?!
Our secret celebrity describes the shirt as “my day off shirt. A gift from a super cool fan who knows that to me, relaxation = a shirt with a bunch of cats on it.” And here’s a hint: I really, really don’t care for her.
Really, no joke, I could do that. I realized that about a year ago when Jimmy and Justin first paired up to conquer the history of rap. I realized that if these two released one of those 20 disc sets of popular hit songs for ten easy payments of $19.99, I would be all over it. I would make every single one of those easy payments, and I would weep with joy when I finally got that glorious set in the mail. And then I would listen to it, over and over and over. And I would hate myself a little, for I despise Jimmy Fallon, but I would also feel just so warm and cozy with these two fellas crankin’ out the jams.
You love it too, don’t you? Oh, you can’t watch videos from NBC? BAM: a lesser quality YouTube link. You’re welcome.
Just in case you needed recent proof of awesomeness though, here are a few quotes from an interview she did with Entertainment Weekly:
On comedy: “Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics,” says McCarthy. “It’s everything you find out about somebody when you fall in love with them that on paper is really creepy but you find adorable.”
On her teenage years: “There was a three-year chunk as a teen where I should have been tranquilized and put in a cage.”
On embarrassing her daughters: If her daughters ever try to pull some of the crap she did in high school, she has a plan. “I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he’ll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat and we will come into that party and just rip it up.”
On her body image: “Do I sometimes hope I wake up in the morning and people are like, ‘What’s wrong with her? She looks emaciated,’?” she says. “Of course I would love that. I’m such a clothes whore I would love the opportunity to be a hanger. But I think I’m more confident than I’ve ever felt in my life.”
God, I just love this lady, don’t you? You do, right? If you don’t, may I ask what your problem is?
I know, there are a lot of names up there in that headline that you might not care about or that you might actively loathe. But that’s not my problem. You’re going to hear about this rumor anyway.
You guys know about Ashley Greene, right? She’s that girl up there next to Robert Pattinson. She plays Alice, Edward’s psychic sister, in the Twilight movies, she had some nude pictures out a couple years back, and she’s also a general douche canoe. And you already know about Robert and Kristen Stewart. Now let me tell you about the love triangle!
Kristen and Rob are, of course, very much in love. But Kristen is busy filming cool new movies while Rob cavorts around with Ashley Greene to promote Breaking Dawn. The result? Rob has no choice but to sex up little Ashley Greene, or, to be specific, to sex her up so loud in their hotel that someone made a complaint to management. At least that’s the rumor.
What do you guys think? Check out that picture above one more time: does that look like a picture of two folks who also happen to be banging, or is Robert too devoted to Kristen for this?
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