Oct 19, 2011 at 06:30 am by Jenn

Photo: Lindsay Lohan enjoys the sights from the front row of Milan Fashion Week last month

So Lindsay Lohan isn’t working at a women’s shelter anymore. And heads up! She isn’t working at the Red Cross anymore, either!

Nope. Stephanie Sautner, the judge overseeing Lohan’s probation case, has ordered the innocent, blameless starlet to work 120 hours at the L.A. County Morgue instead. That’s right—Lindsay’s court-ordered community service has basically turned into a “Scared Straight” program.

According to TMZ, Lohan’s duties at the morgue will likely be, erm, janitorial. And here’s an added wrinkle:

Lindsay’s probation officer wrote that Lindsay had problems with the Women’s Center, because it was “not fulfilling.” One more time—Lindsay complained the Woman’s Center was “NOT FULFILLING.”

I am so, so over this brat. Please. I worked at a women’s shelter right through high school. I wasn’t suffering for my “art.” I wasn’t looking for “fulfillment.” I wasn’t paying due penance for a crime. I was putting glops of mashed potatoes onto plates, because somebody freaking has to. You feel me? Community service isn’t always a heartwarming, inspirational, cinematic experience. It’s hard work. I cannot even imagine quitting work at a shelter because you don’t feel good enough about yourself.

Lohan is due back in court at noon CST today, where prosecutors are expected to argue that she violated the terms of her probation. And though Lohan once again faces jail time, I appreciate Judge Sautner’s frustration: there is no sentence on earth or in heaven that could help Lindsay mend her ways.

Oct 19, 2011 at 05:30 am by Jenn

Kiddies! I hope you’re feeling that Christmas spirit! Eh? Eh?

OK, I can see that you aren’t. That’s fine. But maybe a little melody from Justin Bieber will jingle your bell. Eh? Eh?

Well? Are you feeling it? Is this going to be a Very Bieber Holiday?

Hmm. This makes me really homesick for a certain New Kids on the Block album, actually. I love a good seasonal pop ballad.

Oct 19, 2011 at 04:30 am by Sarah

photo of couple married danny masterson and bijou phillips pictures photos
Sorry, guys, but I’m one of those people who’s totally stuck on That 70′s Show actors and actresses *staying* That 70′s Show actors and actresses for LIFE. Yes, duh, I know that their names are Steven J. Hyde III and Jackie Burkhart Danny Masterson and Mila Kunis, but those weren’t the two to get married, SIGH. It was Danny and his long-time girlfriend, Bijou Phillips who did the knot-tying this time around.

Congrats to the happy couple, and may all friendships and ties with Paris Hilton and strange family baggage remain behind from this point on!

Oct 18, 2011 at 05:30 pm by Emily

And I’m barely exaggerating when I say “all the celebrities.” There’s Ben Stiller, Matt Damon, Sean Penn, Kristen Wiig, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen, Jack Black, and Kevin Spacey. Did I miss anyone? Oh, Bill Clinton. Goodness

Basically it always tickles me when so many celebrities get together for a good cause, so I figured you guys might enjoy this as well. Also, who doesn’t love it when Jack Black sings?

Oct 18, 2011 at 04:30 pm by Emily

A photo of RuPaul

I don’t know, RuPaul, I think you’ve got this on lock, but if you feel like you need advice from this girl, then I guess I can’t stop you.

Here’s RuPaul’s tweeted request:

And now for Courtney Stodden‘s lovely affirmation:

Oh, RuPaul, you’re always just so good for a giggle with your sassy words and your sassy ways! Have you guys watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? It’s universally amazing. Last week I watched an episode with my BFF, my roommate, and my boyfriend, and we’ve all been quoting it since. I had dinner with my boyfriend and his best friend, and as we were leaving, Boyfriend held his head high and told his bro “now sashay away.”

Anyway, did you appreciate RuPaul’s blatant trolling as much as I did?

Oct 18, 2011 at 03:30 pm by Emily

A photo of Christina Aguilera

Well, in some ways. They’re both immensely talented when they have their shit together, they’ve both been in the spotlight for a long time, they both get ridiculed for their fluctuating weight, and they’ve both been photographed wasted out of their minds entirely too many times. That’s why these photos of Christina reminded me of Jessica Simpson: the sad drunk face that breaks your heart right before it vomits.

The most important difference between these two ladies though? Jessica has always had some sort of charm about her, I feel. Like I’ve always felt sorry for her and hoped that she’d find her way, but Christina … I’m not wishing anything bad on her, but ugh, what an insufferable bitch.

Do you guys see the similarities here?

Images courtesy of Yeeeah