So Lindsay Lohan isn’t working at a women’s shelter anymore. And heads up! She isn’t working at the Red Cross anymore, either!
Nope. Stephanie Sautner, the judge overseeing Lohan’s probation case, has ordered the innocent, blameless starlet to work 120 hours at the L.A. County Morgue instead. That’s right—Lindsay’s court-ordered community service has basically turned into a “Scared Straight” program.
According to TMZ, Lohan’s duties at the morgue will likely be, erm, janitorial. And here’s an added wrinkle:
Lindsay’s probation officer wrote that Lindsay had problems with the Women’s Center, because it was “not fulfilling.” One more time—Lindsay complained the Woman’s Center was “NOT FULFILLING.”
I am so, so over this brat. Please. I worked at a women’s shelter right through high school. I wasn’t suffering for my “art.” I wasn’t looking for “fulfillment.” I wasn’t paying due penance for a crime. I was putting glops of mashed potatoes onto plates, because somebody freaking has to. You feel me? Community service isn’t always a heartwarming, inspirational, cinematic experience. It’s hard work. I cannot even imagine quitting work at a shelter because you don’t feel good enough about yourself.
Lohan is due back in court at noon CST today, where prosecutors are expected to argue that she violated the terms of her probation. And though Lohan once again faces jail time, I appreciate Judge Sautner’s frustration: there is no sentence on earth or in heaven that could help Lindsay mend her ways.
Sorry, guys, but I’m one of those people who’s totally stuck on That 70′s Show actors and actresses *staying* That 70′s Show actors and actresses for LIFE. Yes, duh, I know that their names are Steven J. Hyde III and Jackie BurkhartDanny Masterson and Mila Kunis, but those weren’t the two to get married, SIGH. It was Danny and his long-time girlfriend, Bijou Phillips who did the knot-tying this time around.
Basically it always tickles me when so many celebrities get together for a good cause, so I figured you guys might enjoy this as well. Also, who doesn’t love it when Jack Black sings?
Oh, RuPaul, you’re always just so good for a giggle with your sassy words and your sassy ways! Have you guys watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? It’s universally amazing. Last week I watched an episode with my BFF, my roommate, and my boyfriend, and we’ve all been quoting it since. I had dinner with my boyfriend and his best friend, and as we were leaving, Boyfriend held his head high and told his bro “now sashay away.”
Anyway, did you appreciate RuPaul’s blatant trolling as much as I did?
Well, in some ways. They’re both immensely talented when they have their shit together, they’ve both been in the spotlight for a long time, they both get ridiculed for their fluctuating weight, and they’ve both been photographed wasted out of their minds entirely too many times. That’s why these photos of Christina reminded me of Jessica Simpson: the sad drunk face that breaks your heart right before it vomits.
The most important difference between these two ladies though? Jessica has always had some sort of charm about her, I feel. Like I’ve always felt sorry for her and hoped that she’d find her way, but Christina … I’m not wishing anything bad on her, but ugh, what an insufferable bitch.
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