Sometimes, I think, we need that break from things actually making sense and having rhyme and reason behind them. Sometimes we just need to do random acts of kindness, and by doing that, passing the love and paying it all forward. Plus, I never get to participate in these nifty Caption This contests that we have, so this one, guys? Is going to be all for me.

Best captions for the above Katy Perry photo:

- “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me (so help me!).”

- “If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is ‘God is crying’. And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is ‘Probably because of something you did.”

-”EXPECTO PATRONUM!”

I feel the circle’s been completed now, guys.

OK! is definitely a step above, say, the Enquirer, or worse, Star, but a tabloid is still a tabloid no matter what you call it and how professional your layout looks. But hey, by the looks of things from our end, Jess is definitely pregnant, and OK! is the first almost-magazine to publish the story. From OK!:

Dressed in a flowing striped maxi dress, a beaming Jessica Simpson smiled as she arrived for a baby shower at the Ivy at the Shore restaurant in Santa Monica. The performer, along with her mom, Tina; sister, Ashlee; and 2-year-old nephew, Bronx, was at the restaurant on Oct. 15 to celebrate childhood friend Stephanie McGuire Terblanche’s impending motherhood — but that’s not the only baby the Simpson clan is getting ready for! “Jessica is so excited,” says a close friend, who confesses that Jessica has been slowly telling all her pals that she and fiancé Eric Johnson, 32, are becoming parents.

OK! also claims that Jess is doing the full-on eating-for-two bit, too:

She joked, ‘Well, now I can eat anything I want and no one will care. It’s just sort of a rule with pregnant women.’ But it was typical Jessica that she was making a joke of it.”

So can we officially do this already? Will People get up off their dead asses and pick this story up for their cover so we can finally put all of the obvious non-speculation to bed? What’s your call, is Jess going to have a boy or a girl?

The countdown is on, guys: less than a month before you get to see your favorite vampires and werewolves grace the silver screen in all their angsty, teenage glory. I am neither angsty nor teenage, but even I’m getting caught up in all of the magic that surrounds a big-time feature release, such as Breaking Dawn Pt. 1, so here you are – indulge your inner Twihard and jump on the bus – *it’s headed straight for Forks.

*Yeah, I know how corny that was, but come on. Cut me some slack here.

Here’s Kristen Stewart on deciding whether or not to keep her half-breed baby:

And then there’s Robert Pattinson’s take on the baby:

Jump in for even more behind-the-scenes footage and interviews.

(more…)

“I definitely know the meaning of pain. You know when you put all your chips into something and then it disappears? It sent me into such pain. I think I had actual vertigo. I was like, ‘Is this my new reality?’ Will anything be normal again? Then one day you wake up and you think, okay, I’ll never be the same, but I’ll survive and I’ll grow from it.”

I totally know how you feel, girl. I heard it was the very same for Orlando when he and I broke up, too. Seems he just didn’t know where his life was headed. It hurts for everyone, you’re right, but you do grow from it. Good luck with that healing process – it’s a long and tedious one, friend.

Jennifer Aniston wants to “empower” women. [The Superficial]

Robin Wright Penn lops all of her hair off. [Lainey Gossip]

Mya has “thick” thighs. [Bossip]

The Lingerie Football League wants Michael Jackson’s thirteen-year-old daughter. [TMZ]

Stephen Dorff is sad Joel McHale. [The Blemish]

Passive-aggressive notes. [The Blemish]

Ellen Barkin‘s most foul-mouthed Tweets. [Socialite Life]

Adam Levine gets naked. [Hollywood Dame]

President Obama doesn’t like the Kardashians. [Huff Po]

Chicks with abs in bikinis. [The Superficial]

Kellan Lutz knows you think he’s gay. [Cele|bitchy]

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore not legally married? [Popbytes]

OK, this makes me sad today. I spent my childhood adoring Patrick Swayze (as I’m sure his wife did; I mean, who didn’t at the time?), and this is the latest wax figure debuted by Madam Tussaud’s. Hopefully you’ll all recognize this Swayze from the epic scene in Dirty Dancing that I used to actually recreate in my dining room. Alone. For hours at a time.

And then you have Patrick’s widow, Lisa, posing along with her late husband‘s figure and giving him adoring looks (which, of course, I’d do the same). HOW SAD IS THIS? How much do you think she wants to take that wax statue home and just sit it in the corner of the living room while she watches late-night television? I mean, I would if it were my husband, sad as it is to say.

This whole thing makes me really, really melancholy, and I can’t imagine the inner turmoil Lisa must be going through, looking at (and posing with) her different-era husband. You can’t tell me that doesn’t smart just a little, tiny bit.