Oh, I almost forgot to tell you guys. Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt were spied making out with each other a month ago. A month ago! I know! And we’re only just hearing about it? Some scoop, Us Weekly.

Anyway, I am not entirely opposed to this new pairing. The two are pretty close in age (he’s 30), have both been in the biz since they were each 10ish, and have talent to spare. Scarlett has always struck me as a little self-absorbed and over-serious, and maybe Joe could help her mellow out. It’s actually kind of genius! They could record an album together! Can you see it?

Us Weekly promises to have all the deets on the new couple in its Friday issue.

It’s no secret that Christina Aguilera has been looking kind of rough these days. Something about all the booze just doesn’t flatter her that much. But in these photos where she’s not all made up – or at least not all made up for Christina – I think she looks really great!

Now if she would just put on some pants …

But really, would you? Because Kelsey Grammer says that his beef jerkey-scented ex, Camille did, and personally, I feel like that’s a really questionable desire:

Camille asked for a divorce really almost the first day we were married. If you say you want a divorce enough times, you’re going to get one. I think what I was trying to do was sell it to myself. There was this small voice in the back of my head saying, ‘This isn’t going to work.’ But I stuck to it.

She married me because I was Frasier.

I have to tell you, the Real Housewives was my parting gift to her. It was my way of saying, ‘Look, you always wanted to be famous. Here you go.’ I remember having one conversation where I said, ‘Well, don’t worry about it. After the first season, you can do the Divorced Wives of Beverly Hills next season.

I think it would just be so gross and awful to marry Frasier though. Is that just me? And I’m not talking Kelsey Grammer, otherwise “gross and awful” would be a given, I’m talking the character of Frasier. I hate the hell out of that show, and I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that sometimes it comes on instead of Golden Girls.

I know there’s a lot of negativity in this story, so let’s talk about a positive real quick: how sweet was it of Kelsey to let Camille do Real Housewives? What a gift! I’m sure she must be just ever so thankful, right?

Who would have thunk it, right? I thought Taylor Swift was too sweet and Jon Bon Jovi was too awesome to cavort with the likes of Katherine Heigl, but it looks like I was wrong. If you hear Katherine tell it, she’s the most friendly lady in all the land:

When Katherine wasn’t busy filming [for New Year’s Eve, she joined husband Josh Kelly on the road where he was touring with Taylor Swift … and the two blondes totally hit it off.

“I adore that girl,” Katherine told us on the carpet. “I was so excited to meet her! I tried to keep it cool but after chatting for only 20 minutes I was like ‘we’re best friends now!’ She is so sweet and down to earth.”

Coincidentally, Taylor was in the NYE prequel Valentine’s Day. Heigl has been hamming it up with musicians everywhere. In New Year’s Eve, the former Grey’s Anatomy star gets up close and personal with Jon Bon Jovi.

“I play a caterer that gets the gig to cater the big, fancy New Year’s Eve party in New York,” she told us. “Her ex-boyfriend, played by Jon Bon Jovi, is a very famous, big-time musician, comes back to play Times Square.”

“And yes, we totally make out,” laughed Katherine.

“It’s really interesting talking to Jon about his career and all the little things that I now know about from my husband, like the lingo and when you’re touring, how do you feel bout your rider,” Heigl laughed, adding: “I dropped in as much music lingo as I could!”

Ugh. Is that the most irritating nonsense you’ve ever heard or what? Seriously, is it? Sometimes someone just bugs me to the point where everything they ever say or do or wear or think is ridiculous and annoying and awful. I’m human too, ok?!

As Jenn told you this morning, Lindsay Lohan got reassigned to community service at the morgue because she’s an entitled little monster who just can’t get her shit together. When we last left off, Lindsay was due back in court so everyone could talk about how hard she violated her probation. Aaaaand, we’re off!

Lindsay’s probation was revoked! She was led out of the courtroom in handcuffs, and her bail was set at $100,000, though she’s already out, natch. She has another hearing on November 2nd, by which she has to have put in 16 hours at the morgue, and that’s when she could go to jail (she won’t).

The most surprising event in the courthouse today? It wasn’t that Lindsay was served with a whole different lawsuit during the hearing – it’s that case where Lindsay kind of maybe assaulted the lady from Betty Ford – but that this girl actually had a really good probation report. Her therapist said that she’s doing well and that she’s been attending her sessions every Tuesday, to which the judge was like “bitch, please, I seen you partyin’.”

Basically this is just one big giant mess of a situation. Lindsay’s probation officers are spouting off nonsense, the judge isn’t having any of it, and there’s almost more legal activity than I can keep track of. The only thing that wasn’t a total mess was Lindsay’s outfit, though it was a little too Marilyn, right?

Thoughts? Comments? Rants? Leave them here, friends!

All tits, weird legs. [The Superficial]

Maybe Lindsay will go to jail, maybe she won’t. [Lainey Gossip]

Celebrity Halloween costumes. [Starpulse]

Hot Russian … ice girls? [Busted Coverage]

Jason Biggs needs to lay off the pie. [Socialite Life]

John Stamos as Elvis? [Seriously OMG]

Rihanna‘s new video about Chris Brown? [The Frisky]

Bradley Cooper‘s face all busted up. [Caught on Set]

20 Best posthumously-released films. [Pajiba]

Stars attend the newly reopened Studio 54. [theBERRY]

Taylor Swift whines about being single. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Wait, they’re divorcing already? [Hollywood Dame]

Scarlett Johansson dating Joseph Gordon-Levitt? [Cele|bitchy]

Trashy, trashier, trashiest. [Lainey Gossip]

Image courtesy of Starpulse