OH. MY GOD. Is this not the cheesiest video ad you’ve ever seen in your entire life? I mean, yeah, it was supposed to be over-the-top Old Hollywood, but this? Oh man. This is just Bad with a capital B. And was it scripted, or did she come up with all of this smarmy, saccharine BS herself? Those little muscles between my ribcage? Those bitches have a serious hurt on right now, because I just laughed myself into spasms and almost-incontinence.
Seriously, though, I like Scarlett, I do. Mostly when she’s acting in independent films and not trying to be a vapid seductress all of the time. She’s an OK kid. But this commercial or whatever … my goodness, guys. It’s the height of laughability.
If these photos aren’t evidence enough, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you grew up with a homemade chocolate chip cookie-baking mom who wore aprons and pressed your pants every night before school, but Kate Gosselin is not that mom. Nope, guys, Kate Gosselin is the mom who constantly bitches and moans and though she shops for articles of clothing with names like Balenciaga, Ferragamo, and Fend and spends thousands on her hair, she makes her kids shop at Old Navy and then yells at them in public as they walk to the car, seemingly empty-handed.
According to The Gossip Girls:
Making for a less-than-pleasant departure, the reality mom was overheard yelling at her two eldest kids, resulting in a rather agitated atmosphere as the paparazzi loomed nearby.
For her video that is, her new video for just-released single ‘We Found Love,’ which seems to be an almost-spin-off of her former relationship with Chris Brown. The dude in the video even has the same hairstyle and color as Chris had at one point. The only thing that appears to be different is that I don’t think Rihanna puked ribbons, and I don’t think Chris Brown was as soulful as this guy is (he doesn’t have a soul, remember?).
The video itself is pretty neat and there are a lot of cool visuals. However, it hits just a little bit too close to home to be comfortable with, and I don’t think the Chris Brown comparisons are going to stop here.
Do any of you covet freckles? I do. I kind of have this odd olive skin that more often looks yellow when I don’t have a summer tan, and I think freckles are just darling. And now that Lindsay Lohan kind of melted her skin with all of the meth and crack, and it’s almost impossible to admire her formerly-lovely skin, we’ll just have to go and settle for Ali. I know it’s kind of like preferring Ashlee Simpson to Jessica, but it’s the sign of the times in which we live, guys. ALI LOHAN FOREVER.
This was the end result of Lindsay‘s court stint yesterday, where she was reprimanded and told to come back November 2nd for sentencing. Lindsay, as Emily noted, has to work two full eight-hour days at the LA County Morgue (hopefully doing the really nasty-ass stuff, not just answering phones and tagging toes) before that date.
All I can say is “Please please please get arrested seven more times, Lindsay, because I really want to make a calendar happen.”
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