Apparently a lot of trashy crap went down at Nicki Minaj‘s house this past weekend and we missed it!

From TMZ:

Law enforcement tells us, a couple of weeks ago, Nicki’s maid took a photo of the singer out of the trash and then asked Nicki to sign it. Nicki got pissed and fired her.

Cops tell us, the maid did come back today, and Nicki became enraged and ordered her to leave. A source privy to the fight tells TMZ, the maid stood her ground, demanding not to be “treated like an animal” — at which point, Nicki allegedly said, “I’ll show you how to treat someone like an animal … get the f**k out of my house!”

Now here’s where the stories are a bit conflicting. One source says — contrary to what the cops say — Nicki actually made a mistake, saw another maid and assumed she was the one Nicki had fired.

We have had multiple people involved in the incident tell us … the maid Nicki confronted was NOT the same maid she fired a few weeks ago. It was a case of mistaken identity.

Either way, Nicki’s boyfriend got in the act and began pushing the maid with his body. The maid’s boss called the cops and filed a battery report.

So, now, this is what, the second or third time that Nicki’s been involved in some kind of physical altercation (either directly or indirectly) with another person? I know some people don’t think Nicki’s cut out to be an uber-bitch, but I always thought she had this dumb, full-of-shit twattishness inside of her, boiling up and ready to come on out. And is anyone else aside from me completely sad for these maids? I mean, jeez, how embarrassing.

Get some new friends, Nicki.

Damn, right? Looks like Britney could snap us in two if she so chose – girlfriend’s apparently been eating her Wheaties.

I don’t know what’s worse, her new video, or this brawny, muscle-bound getup she’s got going on as of late. I mean, who does she think she is, the *original* fetid old vampire, Madonna? What happened?

Whatever. Make sure you check out the photos in the gallery and be on the lookout for a special cameo appearance by Pretty Major Camel Toe. It’s definitely the best part of all these pictures.

So! Did you guys do big doings for Halloween this past weekend, or are you waiting to trip the lights fantastic on the real night (that’d be tonight)? See, me, I prefer a more traditional Halloween celebration that involves a marathon of classic horror movies, junky candy that I shouldn’t even be looking at let alone eating, homemade popcorn balls, warm socks, and menu-planning for Thanksgiving. (I do so just love Thanksgiving.)

But hey. To those who wish to go out and skank it up like Kim Kardashian, have at it. Somebody’s gotta do it, you know, and me in my woolen socks just aren’t going to cut it this year.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the Dark Knight Rises? [The Superficial]

Justin Bieber‘s balls dropped. [Lainey Gossip]

Eva Longoria‘s new man. [Bossip]

J Woww‘s hosting something called ‘Pimp and Ho.’ [Starpulse]

Another vapid female celebrity has a crush on our Ryan Gosling. [theBERRY]

Michelle Williams finally tells us what the hell is wrong with her voice. [Cele|bitchy]

A douchebag on MTV allegedly violates a woman with a toothbrush. [The Superficial]

Lily Allen‘s got the cutest baby bump of all time. [Amy Grindhouse]

What happened to Paz de la Huerta? [The Frisky]

Aaaaand the sex of Beyonce’s baby is a … [ICYDK]

Gwen Stefani‘s a princess. [Socialite Life]

Julia Stiles gets puffy. [Caught on Set]

Peyton Hillis DID get married. [Busted Coverage]

Does that surprise you? Did you think that because Britney Spears has been looking so good lately that she would also be on top of her game, performance-wise? Well, according to this concert review from The Telegraph, that is most definitely not the case.

I was going to give you guys a few excerpts from the review so you know how Britney’s doing nowadays, but the whole thing is just too good. It includes such gems as “why would anyone continue to care about such a useless performer?” and claims that Britney “skips lazily around, making no visible effort” and that it’s as if “something has been beaten out of her.” Sounds pretty accurate so far, right?

(more…)

About time, am I right? All it took was her father and the rest of the world to comment on her dental situation, and possibly a little cash flow from the generous folks at Playboy, and Lindsay got that situation under control. It’s actually kind of admirable, isn’t it?

The funny thing, because there’s always a funny/delusional part to any Lohan story, is that when she posted this picture on her Twitter, she claimed that she’d only had her teeth whitened. Because everybody knows that a simple round of whitening can reverse the horrors of meth and years of crack decay.

I’ll say this about Lindsay: no matter what, the girl has always had a healthy imagination and the remarkable ability to dream.