I used to joke about the “third Olsen sister,” some terrible gnome that the twins keep locked away in a basement (see also: Kristen Wiig as Judice). Joke’s on me; turns out there is an Olsen sibling. Or maybe I did know that, but the knowledge somehow got lost in my brain’s muddle. Oh, well.
Anyway. Meet 22-year-old Elizabeth Olsen. You’re gonna hear a lot more about this kid in coming months, I swear. She’s currently getting ridiculously rave reviews for her eponymous role in Martha Marcy May Marlene—and I’m talking Kirsten-Dunst-in-Melancholia reviews, here.
Right now you probably know Elizabeth Olsen as the younger sister of the tycoon Olsen twins. After you see Martha Marcy May Marlene, you’ll know her as an actress of uncommon subtlety and feeling. It’s a sensational performance….
Man! Beyoncé looks great! You can’t even tell she’s pregnant!
Anyhoo. Here’s the beautiful and talented Beyoncé Knowles, just chilling out with—oh. Ugh. Terry Richardson? You again? Oh, well.
I don’t love Richardson’s penchant for self-insertion (“Try on my Sexual Predator Spectacles! It’ll be so charming!”), although would-be celebs could sure learn a lot from the photographer’s entrepreneurial sense of “branding.”
What I do love: the face Beyoncé is making. It reminds me of Nicki Minaj doing “The Creep.” (The glasses help.)
P.S. I also love the way Beyoncé is seemingly terrified of putting Terry Richardson’s glasses all the way on her face. Ha ha!
The kid reportedly felt so bad about her tardiness on Thursday, she tried to treat her new coworkers to cupcakes and In-N-Out burgers. But Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter wasn’t having it. Instead, he turned the cupcake deliveryperson away. (Nooooo!)
“It’s unacceptable,” Winter told TMZ at the time. “We’re not here to accept food.” Elsewhere, Winter said that he gave Lindsay a hardcore talking-to, lecturing her about her inappropriate behavior.
Lindsay pleaded ignorance when Winter confronted her about the cupcakes, but her absolutely awful representative, Steve Honig, insists it was she who ordered the cupcakes anyway. “Lindsay’s well-intentioned actions were not taken in the spirit in which she intended,” Honig tells E!.
Good morning! What are you having for breakfast? Personally, I’m thinking yogurt.
In this totally ’80s commercial, Müller Rice rescues a house from from certain demolition. Müller’s dairy truck saves Knight Rider‘s K.I.T.T. from a parking ticket (is that really William Daniels’ voice?). And thanks to the power of Müller Yogurt, all the corporate zombies turn into “Mr. Men” characters. Seriously.
I’ve already said too much! I’ll just leave this here, then.
Remember how these two weirdos got their reality show? They did. And about that, now they’re shopping around for a network to pick it up. Naturally, they headed to MTV, home of Jersey Shore and Teen Mom fame. And really, what could be more appropriate? Maybe Courtney could even mentor these girls. Let the teen moms know that if they keep f*cking around, keep heading to the bars and beating the shit out of their gross boyfriends when they should be home raising their damn kids, that said kids might turn out to be like Courtney herself. But hey. I mean, maybe that’s exactly what they want – a slutty little cashcow so they can stop cashing welfare checks and start cashing royalty checks.
This would be the “statement” prompting us to forget everything that Ashton allegedy did with Sara Leal by trying to confuse us with big words like “integrity,” “media,” bastardize,” and “truth.” You can’t fool us, though, Ashton – we know what those words mean no matter how you try to intertwine them and craft them into a veritable tapestry of crafty mastermindery.
My favorite part was this, though:
“We really have to take it upon ourselves to instill a level of honesty in our works and the media we create and we share with each other. And be certain we are doing our own diligence to ensure what we’re saying is for the benefit of another…using our full capacity to share the truth.”
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