You want to know what’s totally butt-ugly? Do you? It’s those awful shoes Megan‘s wearing. I mean, they’re just terrible, right? Megan’s been looking completely awesome as of late, what with laying off the Botox (her natural facial expressions are SO PRETTY!) and actually consuming some pasta and bread and maybe even some bacon, but the shoes?

Please, girl. Let what you’ve got going on from the ankles up speak for itself. The only thing you’re doing by wearing those damn things is distracting us from the beautiful, natural evolution that’s going on with your face and body.

Taylor Armstrong fired after being beaten to almost-death and after her husband commits suicide. Classy operation. [The Superficial]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. II coming out with a surprise! [Lainey Gossip]

I just love inappropriate death photos. NOT. [Bossip]

It’s apparently crack AND meth now. [Starpulse]

Awesome Halloween cookie ideas. [theBERRY]

Madonna doesn’t provide for her family. [Cele|bitchy]

Blake and Ryan are officially having sex now. [The Superficial]

Ashley Greene‘s on the cover of something else, still pretending to be Angelina. [Amy Grindhouse]

Check out Sesame Street‘s “Change the World.” [The Frisky]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel to marry? [ICYDK]

Behind the scenes of Once Upon a Time. [Caught on Set]

Andrew Lincoln is hot hot hot. [Socialite Life]

Lucy Pinder gets all hot. [Busted Coverage]

I know, saying that Lea Michele is a diva is like saying Lady Gaga is wacky or Katy Perry is dumb. But I’m just trying to keep you guys in the know, and this is my livelihood, you know, so we’re just going to have to settle in for some good old-fashioned eye-rolling on this fine Monday morning, because Lea Michele is being a diva bitch again, this time on the set of Glee:

“Everyone was supposed to throw spaghetti with meatballs, salad and other assorted foods at each other,” an insider tells Star. “Lea pitched a fit, wanting no part of it.

“She is a vegan and a strong believer in not eating any meat products. The thought of being hit by meatballs grossed her out, so she was adamant that absolutely none be thrown her way!”

Producers instructed the cast, crew and extras to throw only salad at “Princess Lea” and told them that if they disobeyed, “they would be kicked off set immediately,” says the source.

So her food-fight costars took full advantage of the vegetarian option. “Everyone armed themselves with tons of salad to throw her way,” reveals the insider.

Glee staffers say Lea’s imperious manner is nothing new. “She doesn’t even like to look the other actors in the eye,” says the source. “She thinks she’s better than everyone else.”

Of course she doesn’t like looking the other actors in the eye. That’s not a surprise at all. The real surprise of this story is how “hit Lea Michele in the face with meat” just became one of my major goals in life. Anybody else?

Jamie Bell was Billy Elliot in Billy Elliot, in case you didn’t know. He was also in The Chumbscrubber and he was in the music video for Green Day’s “Wake Me Up When September Ends” (which I just realized also features Evan Rachel Wood, so excuse me for flailing). But now he’s in The Adventures of Tintin, which means that he’s getting interviews with publications like GQ, which means that he has a great platform to show the world how wonderful he is. Ready?

On gifts from fans: I’ve got lots of weird illustrations of me from Japanese fans. I also got a dead moth. [Pause] Which actually might be more of a threat than a present.

On superheroes: My favourite superhero is obviously Batman because he’s the sexiest.

How to impress ladies: Buy her flowers? Take her home on the weekend to meet your mother? No. Let’s cut to the primal – be good in the sack. [Slaps thighs] Have an understanding of what’s going on down there and have fun, awesome sex.

His favorite drink: I’ve always loved those Yazoo banana milkshakes. Alcoholic drink depends on what mood you’re in, doesn’t it? Absinthe does make the heart grow fonder.

And now for the best interview excerpt I’ve ever read in my whole entire life:

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
What’s the best penis I’ve ever seen?

No! Actually, what is the best penis you’ve ever seen?
[Collapses into laughter] That is a good question. The best piece of advice I ever received was “Don’t f*** your publicist.” Russell Crowe told me that. It’s probably a smart move. [Both of his publicists are now in the room, attempting to bring the interview to a close] No! It’s GQ!

What skill should every man have?
Skill? You know what I’m going to say. A man should have a good understanding of a vagina. He should be good at oral sex. On a woman.

You do realise you’ve got another publicist standing right behind you?
I don’t care. A skill a man should have? Making fires and pleasing a woman. In the vaginal area.

Man, Jamie Bell sure cares about vaginas, huh?  Can you dig it? Because I don’t know about you, but anybody who thinks important skills include “making fires and pleasing a women in the vaginal area” and who says things like “absinthe makes the heart grow fonder” deserves a pat on the back and a nod of appreciation.

Could you get into Jamie Bell here?

Do you think that LeAnn‘s look is all the rage? Do you wish that you, too, could land a great catch like Eddie Cibrian? Do you look at all of LeAnn’s pictures and think to yourself, “gosh darn it, I wish that I could look like that“? Well, calm your hearts, friends, because LeAnn herself recently opened up about how she maintains her physique, along with a few other juicy tidbits!

From Star via Celebitchy:

LeAnn on her body: “I understand the public is used to seeing me with baby fat, but you have got to understand that I’m not a baby anymore… everyone has seen my every five-or 10-pound weight loss or gain since I was 13. Now I’ve grown into a woman, and my body has changed.”

Her divorce did affect her weight: “When I went through a divorce and didn’t want to get out of bed for almost a year and a half, I gained 10 lbs.”

Since marrying Eddie: “I’m the happiest I’ve been. I’m healthy and taking great care of my body again.”

Her new workout: “It’s made my body] longer, leaner and less bulky.” She now exercises three or four times a week by doing Pilates, dancing or circuit training with light weights. “I also love boxing to get rid of stress and tone my entire body… but lately, I mainly work out when I can. Mostly that’s consisted of walking miles through airports and performing high-energy 90-minute shows every night while on tour!”

Her diet: “I start off my day with [nutritionist Kimberly Snyder’s] smoothies, and then I’m mostly vegetarian until dinner, when I eat fish, chicken or steak with salad and veggies. There’s nothing I deprive myself of, not even sugar. I eat everything I want in moderation.”

She mentions pregnancy: “My body will continually change with stress, contentment or whether I’m busy or not. Hopefully also one day when I’m pregnant!”

Are you inspired yet? If not, then make a smoothie, see if you can get an affair going with a married man, and soon enough you can be just like LeAnn! Now that’s the ticket, don’t you think?

I swear, Christina, if I have to tell you one more time to put on some pants, I’m going to lose my cool, I really am. I’m just trying to help you, girl, and believe you me, you’re at a point in your life where you really need all the help you can get.

Now, later we can talk about the possible alcoholism and underlying issues and all that, but for now, Christina, please … the pants. For the love of God, the pants.