None of the above! Instead, Taylor went with Switchfoot’s “Dare You to Move,” because of course she did.
I just don’t like her. I’m sorry. You can get all in a tizz over how popular she is and how many awards she’s gotten and how sweet she is, and that’s fine, those are all facts, but none of those things mean that she’s a talented, precious gift to this world. She gets on my nerves. And that’s ok.
In a tragic but pretty much inevitable step in the sad saga of Lindsay Lohan, the fallen star has agreed to do a photo shoot for Playboy magazine. She won’t be wearing clothes, and she’ll likely get the cover. At this point, Lindsay’s rep is giving the whole “I can neither confirm or deny at this time” routine. That’s basically all we know at this point. Oh, and she’ll be getting paid close to a million dollars for the job.
I really don’t get it. I mean, I know that Lindsay can be pretty fierce with the modelling, but … meth mouth. Could dudes really get it up for that? Can we have a serious discussion about this matter?
No, I’m kidding. That’d actually be pretty disturbing and gross, to be honest. The whole trashy a go-go look is for her newest movie in production, Under the Skin, where she plays Laura, an alien who, as said above, is a sexual predator, bent on harvesting male organs. IMDB says it best, as always:
Aliens descend upon Earth with a specific mission in mind: To abduct hitchhikers and take them back to their home world, where human meat is considered a delicacy.
And it doesn’t get much better than that, folks. Scarlett Johansson‘s career is officially on the downtick, and nothing – NOTHING! – can save her now. Except maybe a few more Dolce and Gabbana commercials. That might be The One.
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s Hayden Panettiere photo: Harriet Meadow
“Hayden Paniettere has recently been diagnosed with a strange illness that makes it so that she’s constantly on the verge of puking and shitting her pants, she craves ramen incessantly, and her nipples have exploded.” (Editor’s Note: You mean she’s pregnant, then?)
First runner-up: Chaz
“Time was these nipples and one quick hummer would get me 5 carts full of groceries … Now it’s a 2 hour donkey-punch with the stock boys for a bag filled with Ramen. I’m really worried about this economy.”
You know sometimes someone says something completely out of character and your entire opinion of said person changes just because of that one or two little sentences? I hate when that happens. Here’s what Adele had to say this past weekend that got me thinking that I might want to rethink my Adele-love:
“I am a Bieber needer. I met him and he was very sweet. If I was 14 or 15 I think I would be well on it. I’d get on it.”
A Bieber. Needer. And she’d be “well on it”? She’d “get on it”? I really hope that’s a cute little British witticism, because I couldn’t possibly fathom the idea of Adele “getting on it” in the sense of what “getting on it” means to me.
Tell me this doesn’t look like two people going through hell. But what’s Kutcher‘s deal? Is he, like, truly remorseful for what he did and wants to make the marriage with Demi work, or is he just trying to save face and not come across looking like a douchebag (or lose out on a perpetual link to what modern celebritydom considers Hollywood “royalty”)?
The interaction here is just fascinating: these two bastards photographed getting into the same car, allegedly headed to a religious counseling sessions, scrawny Demi giving Ashton some serious stink-eye. But maybe that’s just the instant effect of drinking that seaweed-looking shit. What the hell is that, liquid resentment?
I would like to tell you that the term “retard” is very offensive to me. I am not offended because I ASSUME it would offend someone who has mental retardation. I am offened on how the word came to...
I am not offended that Rosie has a fear or anxiety of LP. I feel that when someone knows very little about things and or people they tend to be anxious. Think about it if you had never been around someone...
10
