“I’m having a great time. I feel like they say ‘You lose a boyfriend and you gain a best friend’ and that’s really my situation exactly.”

Michele on losing her boyfriend, Theo Stockman, but gaining a best friend. Who I’m also assuming is Theo Stockman. Is that how that works? See, anytime I broke up with a dude (or a dude dumped me), there wasn’t a whole lot of “let’s be best friends!” going on there. Sometimes there was civil feelings, sometimes there was overt anger or sadness, but there was always, always *some* kind of weirdness, and I’m sorry, but that’s not the kind of weirdness you have with your best friend.

Sorry to hear you’re back on the market, Lea. I hear the economy’s bad and no one’s buying these days.

Same story, different day: Michael Lohan was arrested in the wee hours Tuesday morning for, once again, trying to beat up his sometimes-lady-friend, 28-year-old gossip journalist Kate Major. According to CNN, authorities responded to a call from Lohan’s Tampa home and immediately arrested Lohan for “battery on his live-in girlfriend,” the police statement said. Most news sources say the call came from Major’s home. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe.

When D-Listed reported that this was all over a beej, I thought blogger Michael K was kidding. But Us confirms that the conflict escalated when Major refused to, uh, “go downtown.”

The remaining details outlined in the police report may not be appropriate for workplace-reading.

(more…)

Yesterday, Sarah showed you new photos that basically confirm Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy. So why won’t Jess just come out and tell us what we already know?

Uh, money, that’s why. According to the New York Post, the former pop tart is holding out, asking for a cool half-million dollars for her official, exclusive pregnancy announcement—for $750,000, you can have the exclusive baby photos, too!—but People, Us Weekly, and OK! have already passed on Simpson’s offer. Ouch. (Supposedly, OK! will confirm Jessica’s pregnancy in this Thursday’s issue, presumably without Jessica’s participation.)

Why all this disinterest? Is it because Jessica hasn’t put out an album in years? Is it because no one has ever even heard of her football-playin’ fiancé? Is it because we all already know she’s pregnant, and therefore an “exclusive” would be overkill?

ABC News asked PR bigwig Ronn Torossian to explain this terrible, terrible catastrophe:

“I think she might have missed the boat for a big payday,” he said.

Working against the pop star is a “tough economy,” Torossian said.

“Economy does matter,” Torossian, the man who brokered the multi-million payout for pictures of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, said. “Media today are less likely to take big chances. I don’t know if they want to gamble on Jessica Simpson.”

So what does it take to get the magazines to cough up the cash these days?

“For any celebrities, a hot mom and a hot dad help,” said Torossian. “Both parents being notable helps.”

(more…)

Do you remember how much I love Spike Jonze? Because it’s a lot. And with his latest project, this adorable little short titled Mourir Auprès de Toi, which translates to “To Die By Your Side,” he’s doing nothing but exacerbating that love.

Do you love it as much as I do?

“He [Ashton] really takes everything so seriously, but then he would also make me laugh so hard and play pranks on me [during the filming of New Year's Eve]. One day, I opened up a door and he was supposed to be there fully clothed and he wasn’t. That was awesome.”

- Lea Michele somehow manages to refer to Ashton Kutcher being naked as “awesome.”

Way to stir up some shit, Lea. It’s not like anything is going on in Ashton’s life that would make this little remark seem shady or inappropriate. Nope, not at all. Keep up the good work, Lea!

Kirsten Dunst‘s “big boobs” on display. [The Superficial]

The best and the worst of the Q Awards. [The Frisky]

Drunken Tara Reid says she was never “really” married. [TMZ]

Violent Frankie Muniz gets engaged to violent girlfriend. [Starpulse]

What Russell Brand and Katy Perry did for their anniversary. [Lainey Gossip]

Check out Coldplay’s new album if you’re into that sort of thing. [LA Times]

Chris Evans nudity! [Socialite Life]

Kim Kardashian was booed at her own birthday party. [Yeeeah]

Demi Moore visits Ashton on set. How embarrassing. [Amy Grindhouse]

The 20 sexiest aliens of film and television. [Pajiba]

Keira Knightley‘s marvelous. [Lainey Gossip]

Famewhores in concert! [Cele|bitchy]