Oh, Salma, of course we would love to see your boobs. Of course we would. But not like this. This feels cheap, Salma, this feels tawdry and wrong and not at all how I imagined it. The lighting is all wrong, for one, and you know I don’t like it when you wear your hair like that. No, Salma, this just won’t do. Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame.