Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Situation Is Not Cool Enough to Cut in Line for An iPhone

A photo of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

Cool enough to munch on a gigantic ice cream sundae, sure. Cool enough to snort cocaine off his crucifix, no doubt. But cool enough to get the new iPhone before everybody else? Not so much, The Situation. Not so much.

What happened was that yesterday in Las Vegas there were all these people waiting in line at an Apple store to get that newfangled phone. Everyone was all a tither, jonesing for their new gadgets, when The Situation decided that he was too cool for school and moseyed on ahead of everyone else. An Apple employee was like “excuse me, Sitch, but you ain’t no Jason Bateman,” and he was kicked out. No neat phone for Mr. Sorrentino.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I don’t get into all this Apple business. I have a PC, my phone just texts and calls people, and why the hell would I have an iPad? I don’t get the craze, so at first, I was just laughing at The Situation here. But then I realized that waiting in line for the new iPhone is to some people what waiting in line for a new Harry Potter book was to me, right? So now I think that he needs to pay for what he did.

Any ideas on how?

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