Damn, it’s so good to see you, girl. I feel like it’s been ages since Casper and Now and Then and of course, The Addams Family movies. But hey, you did Black Snake Moan and now you’re doing TV’s Pan Am, so I suppose your career’s on the up and up, right? Come on, who am I kidding, your film repertoire is way extensive. Anyway. It’s nice to see more of you, and I’m hoping that this Pan Am business really pans out for you. I’ve always had a soft spot for you in my heart, Harvey Kathleen.

Anyway friends, here’s some recent photos of the ever-beautiful Christina in Manhattan magazine, whatever that is. Enjoy!

We here at Evil Beet have somewhat of a crush on Kirsten Dunst, and what’s better than seeing the naked boobies of the girl you’re crushing on, am I right? The stills below the jump are from Kirsten’s upcoming movie, Melancholia, where she plays the sister of Charlotte Gainsbourg, and opposite Kiefer Sutherland and Alexander Skarsgard. According to IMDB:

Two sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide into the Earth.

Sure, OK. Sounds good. Plus, it’s got Kiefer, which, in my book, is a bonus. HOT HOT KIEFER. The best thing, however, about the flick? Boobs. Kirsten’s got some seriously great boobs, no joke. And if you don’t believe me, well, jump on in and check them out in all of their NSFW glory. The trailer’s down there, too, in case you happen to find the plotline more than scintillating. (I do!)

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Snooki is relying on good, old-fashioned diet pills and hormones to lose weight. [The Superficial]

So, Swizz Beatz isn’t cheating then? [Bossip]

Was Jamie Kennedy fighting with Jennifer Love Hewitt so loudly that the cops were called? [TMZ]

Jennifer Aniston shows off her lace bra. [Starpulse]

Taylor Lautner bombs. [Lainey Gossip]

Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets hotter and hotter. [LA Times]

I think Rihanna needs a bigger bandanna for her boobs. [Socialite Life]

Back to the pink wig. This won’t end well. [Yeeeah]

Mary-Kate and Ashley‘s sister is on the cover of something! [theBERRY]

Pippa Middleton upskirt. [The Superficial]

Human Centipede 2 trailer. [Pajiba]

Of course Eddie Cibrian’s defending LeAnn’s weight. [Amy Grindhouse]

Jessica Simpson pregnant? [Cele|bitchy]

Jem obsessions! [The Frisky]

Did I miss something? How did I not know this? I mean, I know we’d speculated about it after she tied the knot back in June, but I wasn’t sure that it was an official thing. But hey. According to girlfriend‘s Twitter, she’s expecting, and she’s pretty far along, at least out of her first trimester, anyway:

“My husband just called me his ‘little Fat Controller’ – like off of Thomas the Tank Engine, so not LOL.”

This followed a comment made last week, also via Twitter:

“I can’t cross my legs any more, is that normal?”

Which is so funny, because I said the very same thing last night. Seriously. As I sat on the couch with a plate of pizza rolls, watching the Cowboys struggle to put a beat-down on the Redskins, I casually mentioned to my husband that I was no longer able to cross my legs, either. But that’s not because I’ve had too many pizza rolls (OK, well maybe a little bit), it’s because I’m almost twenty weeks pregnant as well. I’ve got little wiggle room left for these kinds of things, and apparently Lily’s in the same boat. I so hope she births this little baby; she’s been trying for so long, and there’s nothing – nothing – she’s been more serious about over the past few years than finally becoming a mama. Congrats, and good luck, girl!

So, according to sources, a celebrity’s about to be a dad. A celebrity who’s notorious for being both pretty unstable and stalked by Lindsay Lohan (and we know what kind of people that bitch likes to associate with).

Jump in to find out who’s going to be a father, but I warn you – the following photo is extremely NSFW.

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It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Jennifer Love Hewitt photo: Cor A Looker
“If it weren’t for that restraining order, I swear Steven Tyler would be very love this twin Lifetime Movie idea I have in the works.”

First runner-up: Esmerelda
“The moment before deciding to spit or swallow.”

Second runner-up: KF
“JLH doing Jeremy Piven doing his Cosby impression.”

Congrats to Cor A Looker! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!