WHAT IS THIS, RYAN GOSLING? You went on a date this weekend with your Place Beyond the Pines costar Eva Mendes? And you didn’t even have the courtesy, the simple human decency, to tell me we were through?
Because we are through, mister. It’s over.
Don’t give me that soulful look, Gosling. Don’t you dare. You can’t smooth it over with puppy-dog eyes this time.
Oh, I saw the pictures in Us Weekly of your Disneyland date. Don’t you sweet-talk me. I know you held hands! I know she gave you cute little pecks on the cheek! I know that an “onlooker” said Eva fed you “churros, cotton candy, and corn on the cob”! With her hands! Gross! Also, do you know how much I have always wanted to go to Disneyland? Do you? Ugh, you don’t even care!
You promised it would be different this time, buster. You said you were finished with dating costars. Obviously not!
Fine! Whatever! Get married! Have a hundred babies with her! SEE IF I CARE! Just make sure you delete my number from your phone!
Unless you guys suddenly break up—in which case, call me.
If you’re anything like me, you thought “Ooh, pretty Scarlett Johansson!” But then also, unfortunately, thought “What the hell is this piss-poor excuse for shenanigans?”
Hollywood actress and sometime singer Scarlett Johansson has recorded Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot’s 1968 song ‘Bonnie And Clyde’ with Gainsbourg’s son Lulu for a new tribute album.
The album, ‘From Gainsbourg To Lulu’, will be released in November, and sees Lulu covering a host of his late father’s songs. The new version of ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ sees Johansson singing and speaking Bardot’s lines in English, while Lulu sings Serge’s lyrics in French. Kylie Minogue sampled ‘Bonnie And Clyde’ on her 2007 track ‘Sensitized’.
Here’s what the original sounded like:
But the video? Well. I’m afraid I just don’t get the video. All that Moet and those white bed sheets? It’s like a really, really bad commercial for a hotel chain that thinks they’re high-end, but are really budget underneath all of the fancy coverlets.
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!
The winner on last week’s David Beckham photo: Chaz
“With the results of years of hair treatments plainly evident, Britney Spears finally breaks the bonds of the conservatorship in time to celebrate her 40th birthday at the nearest topless beach.”
First runner-up: mdmike
“I know you have a crack problem … Don’t even think about turning around.”
Second runner-up: Grimmtastic
“Hey little boy, I got a lollipop for you.”
Congrats to Chaz! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!
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