Look, you guys! You can see that sassy little fetus of Beyonce‘s! How adorable, right? Goodness me, I just cannot wait for this child!

Ok, everybody. Secretly I started this little story so I could try and let Beyonce know how silly her bathing suit looks, but I didn’t have the heart to poke fun. She’s going to be a mom, you know. No disrespect allowed.

Image courtesy of TMZ

Hell no. I refuse to believe they don’t make them. I mean, we’re taking about Victoria Beckham, ffs. If Posh Spice deigns Louboutin should make teeny tiny stilettos for newborns, it’s just one of those things, you know?

Snark and ridiculousness aside (it’s hard, but I’m going to try), little Harper Seven is a chunky, adorable little cherub who looks just like Daddy David Beckham and I just love her.

The topless Amy Winehouse memorial statue. [The Superficial]

Steve Martin is Jack Black’s dad. [theBERRY]

The best and worst Eddie Murphy movies. [Starpulse]

Drunk moose gets stuck in a tree (this is not a Lindsay Lohan joke). [Bossip]

Karl Lagerfeld thinks the Royals are all fat and ugly. Has he looked in the mirror lately? [Cele|bitchy]

Wait. T.I.‘s back IN prison? [TMZ]

Personal recollections from 9/11. [The Frisky]

What tequila does to Chris Colfer. [Socialite Life]

Amazing trailer for The Skin I Live In. [OMGBlog]

Lady Gaga‘s got a man. [Yeeeah]

Anderson Cooper loves Amy Winehouse. [Amy Grindhouse]

I don’t get what he sees in this girl, either. [Caught on Set]

Jennifer Garner is pregnant and cute and pregnant. [ICYDK]

Marion Cotillard – HOT. [Lainey Gossip]

Gumby robs a 7/11. [Bossip]

You know, in case you might not have thought so in the past.

Remember how intense Gisele Bundchen was about birthing her child? Er, wait, I’m sorry: having her child come through her body? Well Mariah girl here was almost just as bad. OK, I liked – way worse. According to husband Nick Cannon via the Daily Mail:

Nick Cannon says he was the ‘production manager’ as he revealed he filmed the labour and controlled the music while doctors adjusted the lighting. Mariah, 41, had ordered her 1995 live performance of Fantasy to be played as the babies arrived so that they would be born to a round of applause. Nick, 30, told chat show The Talk: ‘It was definitely over the top. I was the production manager of the whole production. I was the DJ. I had the camera on one hand.

‘The lighting had to be perfect. My wife was like, ‘if you’ve got a camera, you make sure the lighting is right.’ The doctors were adjusting the lights. ’But it was amazing because she wanted a certain song to be playing when the babies came out. ’She wanted Fantasy, from her live performance from Madison Square Gardens so they could come out to a round of applause.

Wait, now. Let me get this right. She wanted a certain song playing (one of her own songs, of course) so that the babies could come out to a round of applause? Is that a fact? You know what my daughter was born to? Probably me screaming in demon-voiced agony while wringing the nearest nurse’s neck. No, but really. Seriously and honestly. Who behaves like this? Who seriously has such control and OCD issues that even something as “natural” as childbirth has to be planned down and analyzed to the second, with each detail in place, and if – God forbid! – one thing is out of place, the entire damn thing’d probably be ruined for EVERYONE? Good heavens, man.

Is that what you’d call a jumpsuit? I don’t know. My idea of “fashion” is comfy yoga pants, jeans, long-sleeved shirts, cardigans, and bare feet. Oh, and Birkenstocks. I guess that’s the height of my fashion know-how right there, guys.

However, even I know that there’s just something not all that good about Khloe’s jumpsuit. I’ve been giving her fair chances here and there, because I really, really want to like her – I think there’s something inherently appealing about the girl, after all; I’m just not sure what it is yet – but this horrendous wardrobe choice has driven her fashion sense back about four years or so. You know, back when that low-cut jumpsuit might actually have fit her younger sister, Kendall. Even she’s outgrown it since then.

On a positive note? Khloe‘s a lot prettier than I’ve really ever given her credit for.

Cute, cute, cute. All sorts of cute, all over the place. Young Annie Lennox-type cute. And way, way better than the scary Bob Geldof-shaved-eyebrow look she was rocking for the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo movie.

I think I really like Rooney Mara. I didn’t know who she was, granted, prior to starring as Nancy on the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, but she’s cool. Well, no, she’s actually the anti-cool, which makes her manageable in this industry, I suppose, which is probably all of her appeal. Until she starts dating someone high-maintenance, and then ALL OF THE APPEAL IS GONE, do you HEAR THAT RYAN GOSLING?

Rooney’s photographed up there is from the premiere of her latest film, Tanner Hall, in which she plays a young girl at an all-girls boarding school.

What do you guys think of Rooney’s more demure, still-short-haired look? Pretty much a win, right?