A cacophony of Teen Mom breast implants. [The Superficial]

TIFF photos that you should probably check out. [Lainey Gossip]

Swizz Beatz already stepping out on Alicia Keys? [Bossip]

39-year-old Spartacus star dies. [Starpulse]

BEST PHOTO I’VE SEEN ALL YEAR. [theBERRY]

Could Gerard Butler lose any more weight? [Cele|bitchy]

Rihanna rocking normal hair. [INFDaily]

Gross: a Contagion billboard grown from actual bacteria. [The Frisky]

Kim Zolciak‘s tie to a child molester. [Amy Grindhouse]

Amazing photos of an amazing Brad Pitt arriving at a movie conference. [ICYDK]

OK, Megan Fox – you’re better-looking now, so please: SMILE. [Socialite Life]

Of COURSE she’s smug. Wouldn’t you be? [Caught on Set]

But seriously, what can’t Ryan Gosling do? He’s beautiful, talented, and heroic, and we’ve always known that he loves his dog, but it turns out that he’s an advocate for animals everywhere as well!

Friday morning, the 30-year-old actor sent a letter on PETA’s behalf the the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) asking officials to make sure that chickens and turkeys who have been exposed to disease are euthanized humanely.

Currently, the USDA endorses a slow, painful method of killing birds by submerging them in foam to suffocate them.

“If dogs and cats were killed in this way, the person committing these acts would be charged with cruelty to animals,” wrote Gosling. “Won’t you please end the foam-based suffocation practice immediately?”

This isn’t the first time Gosling has stood up for the birds. In 2010, he fired off at McDonald’s CEO, asking that the organization adopt a less cruel slaughter method for their chickens.

I’m sorry, everyone, if it’s too early for such an intense Ryan Gosling swoon. I know it can be overwhelming, but I really think it’s worth it.

I am right there with you, Christina. Well, I’ve never milked a cow. And I’m not that great at cooking. But your body, I think that’s something we can all enjoy!

Let’s check out Christina discussing some of her favorite activities:

She told Cosmopolitan magazine: “I love being outdoors – I mean, you’d never think it in my high heels and pencil skirt. But I miss the smell of hay and farms and I like milking a cow!”

As well as milking cows, Christina enjoys cooking and spends a lot of time in the kitchen coming up with new recipes.

She said: “I am a good cook. There, I said it. I like to make a bit of everything and I rarely cook the same dish twice. I’m constantly trying new things.”

Christina is famed for her curvy figure and says she refuses to diet to conform to the ideal Hollywood figure.

She said: “My mum was very celebratory of her body. I never heard her once say, ‘I feel fat.’ When I was modelling I gained 15lbs. I’d look in the mirror and be like, I look like a woman.’ I felt beautiful.”

You know, for as much as I go on and on about how pretty this girl is, I’ve never really acknowledged how charming she is, too! And yes, that does make me feel like a dirty old man, but I’m trying to make up for it, ok?

Let it be known that on top of being one of the most gorgeous ladies ever, she’s also pretty neat and inspirational. And even if I only talk about her boobs, it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate her for everything she is.

Did you just gag a little? I just gagged a little. Not only because Bradley Cooper is way too awesome for Jennifer Lopez, but also because that little picture above is actually from a whole year ago, which might add some plausibility to this story. Which, you know, GROSS.

However icky this might make me feel, the story is that Bradley and Jennifer had a “romantic” dinner alone in New York on Saturday night. That’s all, no other details, nothing. So really, it might not be true. It might just be the figment of some really sick and twisted person‘s imagination. Hey, we can dream, right?

What do you guys think? Does it gross you out too, or do you think they make a cute couple? Or are you even cool enough to care about Bradley Cooper and his activities?

“Well, by 25 or 26, I want to see myself, like, married or start looking for a family. I want to be a young dad. I want to be able to have done what I wanted to do – to be successful, to do a movie or whatever.”

- The ever eloquent Justin Bieber describes his hopes for the future.

Well, this is it, ladies. The time’s come to saddle up and move in on The Biebz, and may the best woman win. It’s going to be rough out there – I’m not going to lie, there could be casualties – but this is the moment of truth. This is the time to decide if you’re tough enough to follow your heart and woo Justin to make all his dreams come true.

My first step? Well, I shouldn’t tell you, but I’m going to send Selena a letter describing my (fictional! [so far]) secret affair with Justin so that she leaves him, that way I won’t have to worry about some bitch and I can swoop in while he’s emotionally vulnerable.

What’s your plan?

I didn’t cover Jersey Shore last week—at all! Not once, I don’t think!—and it made me so sad. Didn’t you miss the little scamps?

When I last recapped, Mike had apparently flatlined.

Then, a week ago, we discovered that Ronnie didn’t murder Mike after all. Instead, Mike gave himself a concussion, ha, ha, when he rammed his own head into a stone wall. For the rest of last week’s episode, Mike moped around in sunglasses and a neck brace, milking his minor injuries for more than they were worth. Snooki—who is still furious with Mike, incidentally—was, alas, the only sucker who bought into Mike’s one-man pity party. The entire episode, in a hilarious nutshell:

OK, you’re all caught up.

In this week’s episode: Seems like Ronnie genuinely terrified-slash-embarrassed himself with his own out-of-control temper, and now he’s trying really hard to be sensitive and wise. Last week I was unconvinced by this new leaf, but this week, I felt like he was maybe sincere. He keeps trying, especially, to make amends with Mike; after a therapeutic talk, Mike agrees to, uh, take off the neck brace. (Finally!)

In the meantime, Vinny and Pauly D have come into their comedic own. I’m not kidding. They have a natural, witty rapport that—listen, I’m really not kidding.

Vinny and Pauly D have never been the Cast Idiots, no, but they’ve finally achieved some meta self-awareness, and now they’re acting like the chorus in a Greek tragedy. Y’know: mocking their fellow castmembers; staging parodies of events that have just transpired; serving as the audience’s lens, basically. It makes a certain sense—Pauly is the eldest of the cast, while Vinny is probably the brainiest.

For instance, their play-within-a-play:

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