But Brenda Song isn’t pregnant. Nope. [The Superficial]

Just begging to be a bride. [Lainey Gossip]

Celebrity sibling resentment. [Bossip]

The new Office boss revealed. [Huff Po]

Zoe Saldana and Bradley Cooper hooking up? [Cele|bitchy]

More Britney Spears allegations. [Starpulse]

This photo is probably why A Rod and Cameron Diaz broke up. [Yeeeah]

Beyonce the psychologist? [Bossip]

The cast of Desparate Housewives teams up to party. [theBERRY]

Kirstie Alley will sue your ass. [Amy Grindhouse]

Ryan Reynolds was out with WHO? [INFDaily]

Don Draper is back. [The Superficial]

Taylor Lautner rocks Abduction. [LA Times]

They’ve been co-stars, best friends, worst enemies, boyfriends, girlfriends, and everything in between. Working together on set and spending their down-time together, they have formed substantial bonds and created a pseudo “soap family.” Romantic relationships are tested when one person’s career rockets forward and another’s is stuck at “go.” Jealousies arise as actors attempt to jump from one soap to another, and arch rivals must find a way to coexist in this sudsy microcosm without ripping each other to shreds. All the while their goals are clear – to grow their careers and to keep their hearts and heads above water in Tinseltown – where it’s so very easy to drown. Dirty Soap Premieres this Sunday 10/9c on E!

Courtney! Oh, the places you will go! The future is so bright for you already, Courtney, and you’re only 17! You’ve already found your soulmate, you’ve landed a pretty sweet job: you have it made! But wait! What about your further education? If you’re on track with your peers (which, to be fair, is a big assumption), you should be just about to get your high school diploma. Do you have any plans for college?

“I would go to college and study all of Doug. All of his body, and all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun.”

Oh.  Well.  Huh. That’s … that’s something. That sounds like a good plan, Courtney. That sounds great. And no, I don’t want to hear about your minor, thanks.

There’s something magical about Wanda Sykes, isn’t there? I went through this period when I was probably 12 or 13 where I was obsessed with her. I watched that Chris Rock movie she was in, Down to Earth, all the time, and I remember some TV show she was on around that period that I loved. I thought she was the funniest, and when I saw Evan Almighty, which I also loved (and apparently I was the only one), I was so excited to see her. I think she’s just the bee’s knees, I really do.

Anyway, Wanda’s going to be on Ellen this coming Monday, and she discusses her secret encounter with breast cancer:

The comedian revealed in an interview on Ellen, airing Monday, that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in February and underwent a double mastectomy, saying she didn’t want to take any chances of a recurrence.

“It sounds scary upfront, but what do you want?” Sykes said matter-of-factly.

And, the way she tells it anyway, the story of how her cancer was discovered is quite the hoot.

“I was having a breast reduction, actually,” Sykes told Ellen DeGeneres.

“I had real big boobs, and I just got tired of knocking over stuff. Every time I eat…Oh, lord. I’d carry a Tide stick everywhere I go. My back was sore, so it was time to have a reduction. It wasn’t until after the reduction that, in the lab work, the pathology, that they found that I had DCIS [ductal carcinoma in situ] in my left breast.

“I was very, very lucky,” she continued, “because DCIS is basically stage zero cancer. So I was very lucky. But cancer is cancer. I had the choice of, you can go back every three months and get it checked. Have a mammogram, MRI every three months just to see what it’s doing. But I’m not good at keeping on top of stuff. I’m sure I’m overdue for an oil change and a teeth cleaning already. I have a lot of breast cancer history on my mother’s side of the family, which I didn’t know about.”

Instead, she opted for a bilateral mastectomy.

“Do you want to wait and not be as fortunate when it comes back and it’s too late?” Sykes said.

Wanda also said that she hasn’t mentioned this before because she didn’t want to be a poster girl for another cause:

“How many things could I have? I’m black, then lesbian,” she explained jovially. “I can’t be the poster child for everything! At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade, we get a float, it’s a party. I was real hesitant about doing this because, I hate walking. I got a lot of walks coming up!”

How great is this lady?

And just so you know, the full title of this post should actually be “Just Because The World Decided to Throw Me A Goddamn Bone and Give Me A Set of Photos Featuring Three of My Very Favorite Things.” Seriously, Ryan Gosling? Emma Stone? DOG?! How else am I supposed to take these pictures? If this isn’t the universe’s way of telling me that I’m on a righteous path, then I honestly don’t know what else it could possibly be.

So here you have it, friends: my cosmic reward, or another excellent reason to see The Gangster Squad. Either one works for me!

Or do you hate it? Hating it is also a really valid option.

Either way, “We Found Love” is Rihanna‘s first single off her new album, and, well, it’s a doozy. It’s doing really well on iTunes so far though, even though it sounds nothing like her old stuff and exactly like something you’d hear while being forced to listen to your friend’s extensive collection of shitty techno*.

Thoughts?

*Other people have That Friend, right? The one who links you to a zillion different YouTube videos and makes you go through her entire music collection while being like “listen to this one, isn’t that a great beat? How great is this one?  Oh, it’s this one!” while you’re like “how did I just listen to the exact same song for three hours?” Anybody?