Oh, Betty White. I get the shtick. You’re nearly 90 years old, but you’re still spry, and you always have that mean twinkle in your eye. We all titter anytime you say something lewd in that tinkling, silvery voice of yours.
But actions speak louder than words, madam, and you’ve demonstrated over and over again that you’re “still hot.” We know you are! There’s no need to reassure us!
I guess I just don’t see the benefit in cutting a dance track emphasizing how “hot” Betty White still is. I realize that Ms. White will dutifully promote the ish out of herself, by any means necessary, and making a cameo in Luciana’s dance hit “I’m Still Hot” is one way to widen her appeal.
But “rapping grandma” has been done before, and it’s almost always agist and uncomfortable. I don’t know—something about tricking an old woman into rapping seems exploitive. Is it just me? Have I finally lost my sense of humor? Maybe I can go borrow a new sense of humor from Betty.
Emily gave you a sneak-peek the other day into what it’s like to be married to Courtney Stodden (answer: bizarre), and now we’ve got some quotes directly from the twitchy horse’s mouth! Courtney, in the same interview, talks arousal, housekeeping, and eventually becoming an actress (um … LOL).
On husband Doug, teaching her how to “act”:
“He’s teaching me acting, thank you. We just did a little acting class two nights ago. We have to resume that.”
On how labia-whipped she’s got the formerly-revered actor:
“He’s cooking for me, cleaning for me, he’s like the wife around the house. He picks up the slack around the house and that’s very inspiring to me.”
“We went to the Chateau in Hollywood it was so beautiful it was a wonderful experience. I was aroused for 24 hours straight.”
Oh EW EW EW.
And last, but not least, her take on “resurrecting” Doug’s life by marrying him:
“I think it [the criticism] was because he was 51 and his life is over and I’m just venturing out on mine. I’m here to make the second half of [Doug’s] life a lot better!”
Are we excited about this reality show yet? Like, Christmas-morning excited?
I guess Lindsay‘s acting “career” is officially over: she’s done nothing but modeling jobs for the past however long, and now they’re not even bothering to try and hide her burn marks, bruises, and receding gum lines. Talk about budget.
This is the Big Phillip Plein photo shoot that Lindsay was so excited about, and if we’re talking straight here, girlfriend looks like garbage. I’d be ashamed if I were Philip Plein to have such a wasted-looking former actress marketing my product. Hell, I wouldn’t even want Lindsay stumping for me if I owned a trash disposal company. The drab olive green of the uniforms would only bring out her yellowed coke contusions even more.
OK, I know that’s not really a *thing* around here, but maybe it should be, you know? I like feet. Not that I have any kind of weird fetish about them or anything, I just like being able to identify people by their feet, or their shoes. Sometimes, when I’m in a public bathroom stall and there’s someone next to me, I tend to make up stories about the person based solely on what their feet look like. The stories are especially vivid if they’re wearing flip flops or some other kind of open-toed shoe, because then it’s like looking directly into the wormhole of that person’s life, you know? Deep, deep shit.
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OK, I know that’s not really a *thing* around here, but maybe it should be, you know? I like feet. Not that I have any kind of weird fetish about them or anything, I just like being able to identify people by their feet, or their shoes. Sometimes, when I’m in a public bathroom stall and there’s someone next to me, I tend to make up stories about the person based solely on what their feet look like. The stories are especially vivid if they’re wearing flip flops or some other kind of open-toed shoe, because then it’s like looking directly into the wormhole of that person’s life, you know? Deep, deep shit. 
