Today's Evil Beet Gossip

But Are You Going to College, Courtney Stodden?

A photo of Courtney Stodden

Courtney! Oh, the places you will go! The future is so bright for you already, Courtney, and you’re only 17! You’ve already found your soulmate, you’ve landed a pretty sweet job: you have it made! But wait! What about your further education? If you’re on track with your peers (which, to be fair, is a big assumption), you should be just about to get your high school diploma. Do you have any plans for college?

“I would go to college and study all of Doug. All of his body, and all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun.”

Oh.  Well.  Huh. That’s … that’s something. That sounds like a good plan, Courtney. That sounds great. And no, I don’t want to hear about your minor, thanks.

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  • Well, all you really have to do is wander over to her twitter page, eh?

    If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I was talking to a more-retarded cleverbot. Except this one would only pass the turing test like 25% of the time. Sort of like the talking rat.

    Where-the-hell-are-her-parents? I mean, if my (if I had one, I’m more than old enough) 17 year old daughter tells me she’s in lurv with a 56 year old man… they’d put me on death row.

    Anyway, like this little gem:

    “Lickin a sucker as I boisterously bounce UP & down on the bed while drenched in a soak ‘n wet white mini-T & pink panties; Feelin Dangerous!”

    I mean, isn’t this what phone-sex operators say? Maybe that’s what her mom did and she grew up sitting at mommy’s knee? Where the hell did she pick this stuff up?

    And it isn’t like this is an anomaly. Although, perhaps she hired some cracked media assistant and they’re running berserk after not being paid?

    She makes me feel old and I’m not 56. *facepalm*