Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Check Out the New Opening to ‘Two and a Half Men’

Two and a Half Men promo photo with Ashton Kutcher

I don’t know what’s happening to me! I think I just got… interested? In the Two and a Half Men reboot? Weird.

Anyway. Here’s the cast, lip-synching to the theme song “Manly Men”:

There is something magnetically awkward about the new cast dynamic. Do you feel it?

I like the little vocal switcheroo, what with giving Angus T. Jones the voice that once belonged to Charlie Sheen. Cognitive dissonance! That’s always funny! I think Angus’s deep voice might be a veiled joke about puberty, also.

And man, Jon Cryer is such a dork! He gave his “Oooohs” all this actorly decision-making and motivation and stuff. DERP. (The initial “Who the eff is this guy?” face he makes at Ashton Kutcher is pretty good, though.)

I think Ashton is supposed to strike us laydeez as “roguish” and “rugged,” but he really just comes off as a serial killer, y’know?

Ooh! That’s a good idea for a sitcom, though: Maybe Ashton ingratiates himself to Jon and Angus, moves into their home, then suddenly turns the house into the Manson Family. Right? Could this milquetoast sitcom suddenly go dark? Ha, ha, that would be a pretty funny way to Punk my mom, actually.

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