Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It’s Going to Be A Very Bieber Christmas!

A photo of Justin Bieber

I know, I got irrationally excited over that headline too, but it’s true: Justin Bieber, everyone’s favorite heartthrob, is going to release his very own Christmas album! Did you just explode in a mess of tinsel and finally realized dreams? Me too, friends, but let’s carry on.

It turns out that all the songs on the album will be original, so if you wanted Justin to tenderly serenade you with “Silent Night” or something, I guess you better return to the safety of your dreams, because all we’re going to get is songs about The Biebz enjoying driving to the mall for some Christmas shopping in his Ferrari and some thinly veiled holiday-themed songs about sex. But, according to Justin’s manager, they’re going to be awesome:

So far, it looks like the album is also going to feature collaborations with the likes of Sean Kingston and Taylor Swift. Soon 2 b classics indeed!

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  • How many train-wrecks can we see in one post?

    01) He’s got a “Christmas Album”; but he’s not doing traditional songs. So… he sucks? (And he says he’s a Christian. *chuckle* yeah.)

    02) His manager’s name is Scooter. Scooter. Like a kid with a beanie avec propeller. How low does your ego go to be purposely called Scooter?

    03) *deep breath* Anyway, Scootah said these are “soon 2 b classics”. BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* hehehe *wipes eyes* ooooh yeah. I’ll bet. *snort* In fact, I’ll go out on a (really short, like particle-thick short) and say nothing about him will be remembered, least of all his “songs”, in a decade. He’s 17, which means he’s at the end of his rope.

    Anyway, thanks for cheering me up.