This is Sara Leal. And she’s the one that Ashton Kutcher’s about to lose his marriage over, supposedly, anyway. I think she’s a cute girl, and she’s probably got a lot to offer, but you know what the best thing about all of this is? She’s pretty average. That says a lot about your everyday *regular* girls and what they have to offer. It apparently doesn’t matter if you dropped a condo’s-worth of money on plastic surgery, who your former boyfriends were, or how many pairs of shoes you’ll wear only once are sitting in your closet. I’m not saying that Ashton only hooked up with this girl for superficial reasons, but I’m guessing that there had to be more to it than just that if he was willing to risk his whole “perfect” marriage over.
If, you know, this thing even pans out to be true. But sources are saying that Sara Leal received legal counsel and was advised to delete all of her social networking profiles, so there’s that, of course.
I’m kind of indifferent about Kelly Osbourne. And honestly, when I first saw these photos, I automatically thought “Madonna meets Adele,” you know, with that hair and everything. But after a few minutes of peeping her clothes, I found that it’d actually grown on me. I mean, I’m on some heavy-duty allergy meds right now, and I’m only able to see clearly out of one eye because the ragweed’s so disgusting where I live, but I think it’s a win, friends! A WIN!
Congratulations are in order for Steve Martin! The banjo-pickin’ comedian sure must feel validated: last night, Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers were named Entertainer of the Year, the top award bestowed at the annual International Bluegrass Music Awards.
The last few episodes of Jersey Shore have been totally indefensible; the whole show has turned miserable. At this point, it’s like I’m dragging out a dysfunctional relationship because I made a commitment three and a half seasons ago.
All I remember of last week’s episode was that I came away from it feeling doleful and drained. Oh, that’s right: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi embarrassed boyfriend Jionni in public—she hiked her dress up in a club and kind of, I don’t know, danced at him—and he ditched her. How long did Jionni spend with Snooki in all? Six hours? That’s just six episodes of Jersey Shore PLUS COMMERCIALS. I feel like I’ve tolerated Snooki for way longer stretches.
As the curtain rises, Snooki is still bereaved. When she christens the day “the worst day of [her] life,” I for one believe her. Meanwhile, at work, Deena has been condemned to clean the toilets. (“These nails? These hands? They don’t clean toilets,” Deena narrates as her onscreen avatar attempts to mop a toilet from the other side of the room.)
Jenni “JWoww” Farley continues her reign as World’s Most Patient Pal. In last week’s episode, she scoured the streets of Florence for hours, searching for Snooki’s missing boyfriend until her feet bled. Now, the day after, Jenni negotiates a meeting between the feuding lovers, who hug and smooch just before a still-seething Jionni rolls his luggage onto a train to Rome. Yep, he leaves Florence after all! Snooki is distraught.
Next, Vinny and Pauly D build a tower of furniture atop Deena’s bed. Deena struggles to lift a loveseat by herself, topples with it, and ends up pinned beneath it, flailing helplessly. When Pauly D announces that “this is the best day of [his] life,” I for one believe him. (Déjà vu.)
I honestly can’t listen to Adele‘s “Someone Like You” too much more. It’s a little gut-wrenching—like, Eternal Sunshine gut-wrenching.
The official music video for “Someone Like You” translates Paris, the Most Romantic Place On Earth®, into a grayscale, nightmarishly desolate landscape of ruined dreams. Like Adele’s own music, the video is stark, underproduced, and lovely. Watch it if you can bear it.
I would like to tell you that the term “retard” is very offensive to me. I am not offended because I ASSUME it would offend someone who has mental retardation. I am offened on how the word came to...
I am not offended that Rosie has a fear or anxiety of LP. I feel that when someone knows very little about things and or people they tend to be anxious. Think about it if you had never been around someone...
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