The World Wide Web was all aflutter with Jersey Shore recaps yesterday, but I really didn’t want to link to any of them until I got myself all caught up.
As MTV has teased for months, Ronnie Ortiz-Aggro flies into an inevitable ‘roid rage in this week’s episode, yes.
But until that climactic moment, most of the episode is, in fact, a paragon of mature conflict resolution. Deena‘s kerfuffle with Pauly D and Vinny? Resolved! Sammi and Ronnie’s relationship? Comfortable and happy (until they get wasted)! Should J-Woww butt into Sammi and Ronnie’s newly happy relationship, even though she was privy to Ronnie’s secret phone calls to some strumpet named Hannah? Nope, Snooki advises sagely.
Snooki and Mike‘s friendship is on the skids, too, but instead of letting “the Situation” escalate, Snooki makes a phone call to boyfriend Jionni. And all was well in Snooki-land.
Try as the Internet might to squelch the leak of the title track from Kelly Clarkson‘s new album, it is my sworn duty as an “entertainment” “blogger” to direct you to it.
So feast your ears on Clarkson’s newest pop cottonball, “Mr. Know It All.” Kelly’s back!
Really, Beyonce? This is how you’re going to choose to do things? You and your man are one of the highest earning couples out there, and all you could afford was a bunch of grease and some ice cubes? Did you just get a friend to edit all this nonsense together as well? Come on, girl, at least last time you looked pretty and there was a huge awful wedding dress to look at.
I expected more, I really did. What about you guys?
The show is going down in Australia, where a couple of bros decided to get together to write, produce, and perform a delightful little two-man show simply titled Kanye: The Musical. But what is it about exactly?
“This is a story of a struggle against the man to become the man. It’s about a guy who took a shot at the throne and didn’t miss.”
Songs from the show include “A Bright, Shining Star,” sung by Kanye’s mother upon her son’s birth, “Rappers on My Dick,” which takes place after Kanye gets popular, “What Was I Supposed to Do,” a song from the character of Mike Myers after the infamous “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” incident, “Why Me, Oh Lord,” which documents the Taylor Swift debacle, and finally, the finale of the show, “One Day They’ll Understand,” with the moving closing lines:
Try and try but they just won’t see
Maybe they was never really ready for me
Don’t fret no more, hold my head in my hands
One day, I know, they’ll understand
No joke, if I was in Australia, I would see this show in a heartbeat. Would you?
There’s such a good joke in here somewhere, but I can’t quite wrap my head around it. I’ve been really dull lately—I think I might have some kind of brain-eating bacteria or something. But yeah, anyway, back in Texas we used to tell this one Aggie joke, and it went, “Hey! Did you hear Texas A&M’s library burned down? It was tragic. Fortunately, they salvaged most of the coloring books.” *Rimshot!* Yeah, that joke really isn’t very good. Don’t tell it at parties. People will hate you.
What I want to know is whether it was an awesome coloring book, though. Like, say, the Law & Order coloring book, or maybe the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book. Ooh! Hey! Those would make lovely gifts! Maybe for a housewarming party? I should be writing these down.
I would like to tell you that the term “retard” is very offensive to me. I am not offended because I ASSUME it would offend someone who has mental retardation. I am offened on how the word came to...
I am not offended that Rosie has a fear or anxiety of LP. I feel that when someone knows very little about things and or people they tend to be anxious. Think about it if you had never been around someone...
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