The VMAs happened last night, if you’ve been living under a rock for the past few weeks (or, if you’re like me, had to evacuate for two days while that bitch Irene frigged up most of your stuff) and from everything I’ve seen, the recaps, the videos, the photos … There’s a slot to be said about this year’s show. For example:
-I don’t think it was an accident that Justin Bieber was photographed with a snake in his hand
-Katy Perry looked like a hot pile of shit
-Britney Spears definitely stole the show with her banging-ass body and stellar wardrobe choice
-I wouldn’t mind bearing Adele‘s children as she’s SO AWESOME
-Snooki looked OK … from the neck down
-That picture up there? The one of Joe Jonas and the Maddens? Had me rolling on the GROUND at 5 AM today
-Demi Lovato needs an intervention – a tanning intervention. I thought it was Snooki before I put my glasses on.
-Nicki Minaj tries way too hard
-I’m going to say nothing about Lady Gaga, because it’s the opposite of what she wants
- I wasn’t going to be mad rude and say that Busta Rhymes got fat, but …
- I almost didn’t recognize Amber Rose with all of those clothes on
- Pete Wentz looks really sad and alone
-There’s no way that J Woww hasn’t done something weird to her face
-Hottest mess of the night? DEENA NICOLE CORTESE.
At last night’s VMAs, Beyonce showed up in a red muu muu, where her bump was undeniable. Even though everyone already knew she was pregnant the second she walked in the door, she took the announcement even further – she performed her single ‘Love on Top,’ and afterward, opened her sequined jacket and rubbed her baby bump while the crowd cheered and Jay-Z smiled hugely from the audience and I CRIED. Seriously, real tears. I know it’s an extreme thing, that a Beyonce-Jay-Z baby could move me to tears, but hey. Everybody’s got a chink in their armor and this one’s mine, I suppose. One way or the other, I dare you to watch the last thirty seconds of this video and *not* crack a smile.
“They told friends in the last month. She’s never been happier. Seriously it’s all she’s been waiting for. And Jay is like an excited kid. They’re adorable.”
Yes, yes they are adorable. Congratulations, guys!
Never one to be outshone, Lady Gaga posed as her alter ego, studly Jo Calderone, all night at the VMAs. Some folks have already said that Gaga’s shtick is tired, but I thought her performance last night was priceless.
She did it as a full-on drag king, too, a totally cocksure spoof of masculinity. (Britney seemed both flattered and terrified of “Jo” when they shared the stage; Jo was eyef–cking Brit-Brit pretty hardcore.)
I suspect that Gaga is most confident when she can disappear into costumes—in live interviews she always sounds so rattled!—and I couldn’t help but think that playing “Jo” gave Stefani Germanotta the confidence and oomph to, well, be herself. (I don’t buy the “misunderstood artiste” act for one minute, Stefani!)
Admittedly, my accolades might be in the minority—others are saying the whole thing was awkward and weird. Where do you weigh in?
The Washington Post givesAdele‘s no-frills performance of “Someone Like You” its unofficial Best Live Performance of the VMAs award.
The Washington Post:
So what was her gimmick? Standing in one spot in an elegant dress and belting the heck out of her song “Someone Like You.” That was it. And it was precisely that simple, classy approach that earned her a standing ovation from the crowd and offered further proof that she is one of the most universally embraceable artists in contemporary pop music.
Seriously high praise. What did you think? (I thought she was a little pitchy, but for a live performance? Let’s give credit where it’s due—Adele is pretty wonderful.)
Well? Do you plan to watch this year’s VMAs? Or will you hide in bed with a pillow over your face, waiting for it all to finally end? (Guess which one’s my plan!)
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