Go ahead, guess. Here’s a hint: you’ll never be able to guess. Because it’s absurd and it involves a giant inflatable banana.

Here’s what went down. Beyonce‘s wacky little sister, Solange, was down in Miami Beach, and she was just trying to have a good time, you know, she was just trying to do her thing. She wanted to mosey on into a club and have some fun that way, and that’s her prerogative, but our girl was denied entry. Why? Because she had the inflatable banana, of course!

From TMZ:

Cops say Beyonce’s younger sis tried entering Club Cameo in Miami Beach and was denied because she was holding a 5-foot tall, inflatable banana.  According to cops, Solange began complaining that she was turned away for racial reasons.

Cops say Knowles became unruly with off-duty officers, who took her across the street to try and calm her down.  Solange claims that’s when cops pulled a “weapon” on her — we’re told she claimed it was a knife — and threatened to deflate the banana.

Miami Beach PD Internal Affairs must investigate all such complaints, so they’re getting in touch with her.

I’m sorry, but I thought that Miami Beach was in America.  And I thought that in America, land of the free, you could escort around inflatable fruits of any size without fear of deflation! Wasn’t that written somewhere in the Constitution?

Selena Gomez is angling for a spot in a new vampire movie, apparently. [Starpulse]

Kim Kardashian: a never-before-seen clip. [Bossip]

LeAnn Rimes looks like something from Labyrinth. Uh, chilly down? [The Superficial]

Matthew Fox drunkenly manhandles a woman. [TMZ]

Ryan Reynolds photographed on his way to Sandra Bullock’s house. [Socialite Life]

Let’s remember Michael Jackson on his birthday, huh? [theBERRY]

Is Jennifer Love Hewitt riding a juvenile? [Cele|bitchy]

Sofia Coppola married. [Socialite Life]

Meet Amber Heard’s girlfriend. [The Frisky]

Even Britney Spears doesn’t want to swap spit with Lady Gaga. [Popbytes]

Jay Z and Kanye perform together at VMAs. [Bitten and Bound]

People who refused to clap for Chris Brown’s VMA performance. [Huff Po]

Jim Carrey was “kidding” about Emma Stone clip. [Jezebel]

Cold Star - the short film that could change everything? [OMGBlog]

VIDEO: Prince Harry drunk dancing and all wet. [Lainey Gossip]

Christina Ricci covers a magazine (I know, crazy). [ONTD]

Demi Lovato defends her weight after critics call her fat. [Us Magazine]

I don’t know, guys. I was never really into Dancing With the Stars, and I was even more aghast when they asked Kate Gosselin to star on it for a season, so I’m sort of torn as to how I continuously feel about the show. I know it’s not going away anytime soon, and I’ve made my peace with that, but it seems like the execs over there at ABC are trying really, really hard to lure in the under-fifty crowd by including people like Bristol Palin, Kendra Wilkinson, and the majority of the new season’s cast. Who, you’re wondering? Try these names out for size:

Nancy Grace. Just when you thought her career wouldn’t extend past the Casey Anthony trial.

Kristin Cavallari. Because she’s just been dumped by someone who wasn’t even good enough to be considered for the sportsman position on DWTS, I guess.

Ricki Lake. Why not? It’s not like she’s done anything recently except play poker or something.

Chynna Phillips. Sure hope this one doesn’t lose the weight that most contestants do. SHE CAN’T AFFORD IT.

Hope Solo. This one’s going to be fun to watch. I saw an interview after all of the women’s soccer hubbub earlier this summer where she was asked about the possibility of joining the cast, and Hope claimed that, even though she’s mad athletic and coordinated on the field, she can’t dance for crap. I like this girl, so good times.

Jump in for the rest of *the list:

(more…)

I know I don’t really ever have a lot of good to say about Rebecca Black (and I’m still scratching my head as to why she was even at the VMAs last night – she’s neither owned by MTV nor producing, you know, anything that people are seriously going to continue buying), and I know this.

But young, small Rebecca Black looked really good at the awards show last night. She looked, dare I say it, classier than most of her peers did. The shoes? I want them. The shorts? I’d wear them. On the whole, it was a win for little Becky Black, and a lot of the girls in her age group should maybe start taking pointers from her rather than from MTV compatriot Deena Nicole Cortese. I mean, I shudder.

I mean, don’t get me wrong … It was nice and all, but I thought that the applause wasn’t nearly as raucous as it should be after the Tony Bennett duet, Russell Brand over-casually rushed his “heartfelt” Amy Winehouse speech, and Bruno Mars, really? They couldn’t have picked a different artist, someone, like, with timeless lasting power to vocally salute the late Amy Winehouse? On the whole, I’m disappointed. The possibilities for something like this were endless, and yet we end up with something that’s almost an afterthought. I know Amy wasn’t as important to everyone around the world as she was to me, but she was innovative, unique, and above all, TRULY TALENTED – which is more than I can say for most of the entertainers at last night’s VMAs.

Consider me bugged.

These photos are a veritable treasure trove of both VMA presenters and performers. Katie Holmes, Kim Kardashian, THAT CRAZY JARED LETO AND HIS SUNGLASSES. *Does it get any better than this?

*No. The answer, when involving any questions asked which happen to include Jared Leto as a possible answer, the answer is always, infinitely ‘no.’

Enjoy the photos!