“It doesn’t go anywhere. I’ve tried to get it off, but then I just reapply, so it seems relatively pointless. After about the third show I ever played, I was like, ‘f*ck it.’ You might as well just learn to love it. I’ve found glitter anywhere a person could find glitter. I’ve choked on glitter. I found it behind the backs of my eyelids. Even in my food, in my beer. It clogs my shower after every show. There’s glitter in my piss. It’s so gross.”

- Ke$ha, getting real about the magic of glitter and making me feel just a little better about her life.

I know I’ve told you about how much I love glitter, I know I have. For instance, I’ll go to Michael’s and buy tubes of glitter for decoration, like right now I have about ten little tubes of glitter just hanging out on my bookshelf like I’m some sort of drag queen/witch hybrid, and I love it. And that’s why I have such conflicting feelings for Ke$ha, because we’re so alike, but so, so different. Ke$ha is my doppelganger.

Leonardo DiCaprio is totally hot once more. [The Superficial]

PHOTOS: Nicole Kidman goes bleached blonde. [Bitten and Bound]

Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston are headed to Hawaii. [Starpulse]

Janet Jackson: getting married? [Bossip]

The latest hottest photos of Neville Longbottom. [theBerry]

James Franco has bongs on the brain. [Socialite Life]

Hilarious photo from the set of Community. [Caught on Set]

Kings of Leon cancels tour because someone’s headed to rehab. [Yeeeah]

Why Courtney Stodden is way creepy. [The Blemish]

Liza Minelli in fur and leather. PETA’s gonna shit all over themselves. [OMGBlog]

Your birth control might soon be restricted based on religious beliefs. [The Frisky]

Frieda Pinto claims that Indians are fascinated by white skin. [Cele|bitchy]

Where the hell is the rest of Kimora Lee’s body? [Bossip]

Katy Perry makes history. [LA Times

]

Here’s a secret: she did not pop that baby out yet, so that leaves the only other alternative – she uses old photos for posterity.

The Jessica Alba-who’s-still-pregnant recently sat for an interview with Lucky magazine, and discussed everything from her body pre-pregnancy, to her body post-pregnancy, to her … uh, body. I guess you have to stick to safe topics when this is what you’re working with, huh?

Jessica on her post-pregnancy secret to looking trim:

“I wear a girdle around my tummy from the moment I give birth until it doesn’t feel loosey goosey anymore—that takes a good two to three months. It’s spandex with Velcro.”

On cutting down calories to lose weight post-baby:

“I have a hard time with portion control, so I have 1,200 calorie meals delivered. But I also work out, so basically I’m starving—it sucks. I drink a lot of water.”

On being considered a sex symbol:

“I’ve never been perceived as anything but a sex symbol, so I don’t even know what that means.”

On how she doesn’t feel the need for maternity clothes:

“I generally don’t wear many maternity clothes…but I am wearing maternity pantyhose, because I can’t fit into the other ones.”

On how much she hates working out:

“Working out everyday for even just 45 minutes is good for my mental state. But getting dressed and actually doing it is the worst. It’s hard to get motivated.”

Saying the word “boobies”:

“[A Campari calendar photoshoot] got people talking. Besides, it’s not like my boobies were out or my bum was showing.”

There’s more to the interview, but it doesn’t have anything to do with her body, just about how she hustled to get to where she is in this stage of her career, how she didn’t need a man growing up to complete her – and still doesn’t – and that she’s not going to be just a brief flash in the pan. You can check all that stuff out at the Lucky site if you’re really that into it.

How gorgeous does Emma Watson get practically every day? GORGEOUS. These latest Lancome shoots are no exception, either. I know I might be a little bit biased, because I am a Harry Potter MANIAC, but even the biggest non-HP fans have to agree – this is one beautiful girl who’s growing to be more and more beautiful as the years go by. And talented, too. Have I mentioned “talented”? I can’t wait to see more acting from this girl. She’s one we’re going to want to watch in years to come, I think.

Do you guys have as big a hard on for Emma as I apparently do?

“I’m a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love.  It’s not that I didn’t love myself before. Sometimes we don’t realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself—if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.”

… Wait. So what you’re telling me is that Marc Anthony just might not be the stand-up guy that apparently everyone thinks he is? No way. I refuse to believe it. I refuse to believe that a guy who looks like this is prone to douchebaggery and emotional abuse. I just don’t buy it; no way.

It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address! (Oh, and check your email for your winner’s notice, too, OK?)
We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Al Pacino photo: Tina
“Hey! Hey! HEY! You know I can’t go anywhere without this weave. It’s sewn in man. SEWN IN.”

First runner-up: Harriet Meadow
“So she was like, ‘I’m sorry, we don’t allow homeless people to loiter here.’ And I’m like, ‘I’m Al Pacino, bitch!’”

Second runner-up: moglo
“I like big butts, and I cannot lie!”

Congrats to Tina! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!