Is it me, or does this movie look insanely good? What? You’ve never even heard of it? Well it hits theaters today, so you better check out this trailer and GET SOME:

Seriously. Awesome. And could Emma Stone be any more lovable? And this movie. I saw the trailer the other day for the first time while I was sitting in a doctor’s office, waiting for my husband to get a colonoscopy. Good times, huh? So, I don’t know if it was the effect of all that anesthesia running through the air purification system or what, but this movie looks like it could end up being one shelved next to the others in my massive “favorite movie” collection.

You guys going to go see this business?

For all of you not in the know, Charlie Harper is Charlie Sheen‘s character on Two and a Half Men, and his character will be killed off this upcoming season in order to free a vacancy for Ashton Kutcher.

Did you guys know how Charlie’s getting written out? Um, here.

From TMZ:

Harper married Rose — the neighbor/stalker he flew to Paris with last season — but things went downhill quickly when she found him in the shower with another woman.

In the episode, we’re told Rose speaks at the funeral and recounts what happened to Charlie … saying the day after the shower incident she and Charlie were waiting for a Paris subway when Charlie “slipped” and the subway literally blew him apart in a “meat explosion.”

The strong inclination was that Rose pushed him and got away with it.

And what does Charlie Sheen have to say about it? Well, this:

“I am honored that it took something as large and violent as an oncoming train to terminate my character. Anything less would have been an insult!”

Hm. I’m not exactly sure that’s what they were going for, there, Charlie-boy, but you do what you’ve got to do to get yourself through this season, OK?

… And meat explosion? Well that’s just gross.

Last night, Mike Sorrentino and Jesse Eisenberg were both guests on Leno—Sorrentino was promoting the new season of Jersey Shore, of course, while Eisenberg was out in support of his new comedy, 30 Minutes or Less.

So when Jay Leno asked Sorrentino to illustrate his pick-up lines on, say, young Mr. Eisenberg, Sorrentino was only too willing.

And since none of us watches Leno, I’ll just post the clip! Here’s the Situation, demonstrating his command of the Italian tongue (heh):

A transcript of Mike Sorrentino’s sweet nothings:

Leno: OK, let’s suppose that Jesse is an attractive Italian woman—what would you say? Jesse, sitting and minding his own business, having a drink at the bar, what would you say?

Jesse: [reaches for his coffee cup]

Mike: Um, I would have to say—

Jesse: [sips demurely]

Leno: You see? See, the perfect actor, having a drink.

Mike: You know what? I would have to say, “Ciao, signorina.” That means, uh, “Hello, miss,” in Italian.

Jesse: I, uh, I don’t think I would respond to that.

Leno: Really!

Mike: Yeah, and then I’d go—I would proceed to “go in,” which means I would go in for some sort of compliment. And I would say, “Che dolce,” which means, “You are sweet.”

Jesse: [mumbling] Oh, yes.

Leno: I like that. OK.

Mike: And from that particular point, “Andiamo alla casa!” Let’s go to the house!

“[Political correctness] has gone too far. There are too many people in power with too little to do, so they churn out laws to justify their jobs. I hope it’s a rash that will wear itself out. Most people are robust. If a man puts his hand on a woman’s bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It is communication. Can’t we be friendly?”

- Jeremy Irons enlightens us all.

I bet a lot of you guys didn’t know this, huh? I don’t know why, it makes perfect sense – why would you flip out or even be moderately pissed if all some innocent guy does is grope you? It’s communication, get it? Who needs words when you can just physically violate someone?

You guys remember Scotty McCreery, that little country kid who won American Idol, and Lauren Alaina, that cute little first runner-up, right? If you don’t, you will now, because they’re out in the real world and they mean business.

If you look above, you can see Scotty’s very first single, “I Love You This Big.” If you look below, you can see Lauren’s very first single, “Like My Mother Does.” And if you look just a little below that, you can see the comment button, where we can all start discussing how completely insane it was that these two were the finalists and that the immensely talented Casey Abrams is now a spokesman for inflammatory bowel disease.

Regarding the unveiling of the Catwoman costume: I was unmoved by it. If there is something two rungs beneath “apathy,” that is exactly what I felt. And others felt the same way, in that they felt nothing.

But Anne Hathaway has strong words for her costume’s critics:

Anne: “…I happen to know that MTV’s reaction [to the Catwoman costume] was ‘Meh.’”

Interviewer: “Was it ‘Meh’?”

Anne: [coyly] “MTV’s reaction was ‘Meh.’”

Interviewer: “That’s why I’m here! I’m here to broker the peace.”

Anne: “So what I am happy to say is, if you didn’t like the photo—I’m gonna start with the negative—you only see about a tenth of what that suit can do. And if you did like the photo, you have excellent taste.”

I am yet unconvinced about that Catwoman suit, but Anne Hathaway is way more charming than I ever realized.