Well, allegedly. We have a video of Lindsay Lohan buying drugs allegedly. Which is way different.

To be fair, I’ve only seen a handful of drug deals go down in my life, and most of them happened when I was a preteen, so I don’t feel 100% confident saying that yes, Lindsay is definitely purchasing some sort of illegal substance here. But for any of you who are more street smart than me (which would probably be all of you), the real action starts going down around the 1:40 mark. You can see a baggie full of something being passed off, and the whole thing just looks so shady. Plus, you know, it’s Lindsay, so yeah, I’m leaning towards this being a deal caught on video.

However, according to Lindsay’s publicist – and what a taxing job that man must have – there wasn’t no drug deal, no way, no how:

Lindsay Lohan’s powerhouse publicist, Steve Honig has denied his client was doing anything wrong and blamed the paparazzi agency that took the video as: “Knowingly and consciously making inferences about Lindsay that are completely untrue, and creating a fictitious story to get more people to visit their site.

“We were not given a chance to comment on this story before it went up, and no effort was made to gather the facts about what actually occurred.

“When I addressed this with the agency, they told me ‘we’re not the New York Times.’ They have made a horrific mistake; the worst part is, they know it but don’t care.”

Well, ok, so if Lindsay wasn’t buying drugs, then what was she buying?

RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that the plastic bag did indeed contain various rocks and crystals — but they were  all of the legal variety – sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz and quartz, all purchased by her pal from a store down the street.

Oh, ok!  My bad! Gosh, I feel so silly now, assuming that Lindsay was buying hard drugs and not rose quartz! Really, I could just kick myself over this whole big misunderstanding! Geez, what a way to kick off the morning, huh?

Was that headline assertive enough? Because I meant every word of it.

This morning, Jenn showed you a clip from The Tonight Show where The Situation tried to charm the pants off Jesse Eisenberg. You guys loved that, right? How could you not? But now I want to share some quotes from his interview with Jay Leno so we can all appreciate how precious he is on his own, all right?

On doing the most touching thing that anyone’s ever done: “My family is from Poland and I always vowed to my aunt, who is 99, she’s my best friend, I told her that if I ever get a movie in Europe I’m going to go to the town you’re from, I’m going to take pictures of your house and bring them back to you. She seemed really excited by that idea. And I did it… an insane, arduous trip through Poland. I rented a car for two weeks, I got into a car accident, my passport was stolen. All these insane things to get this one picture of a tiny house… when I finally showed it to her she couldn’t care less. ‘Yeah that looks like it, yeah.’ It was disappointing.”

On bicycles: “Traffic is so bad in New York City, you’re actually faster on two wheels…. I flipped over a taxi door once. You just get up, get back on the bike and leave, embarrassed. I was so humiliated that I just wanted to get away from it. I had six broken ribs but I was mortified.”

On having his picture taken: “I don’t like being in my own skin even when I’m not being photographed.”

On delivering pizzas and inventing Facebook: “In preparation for the movie [30 Minutes or Less], I went out with a guy, Alex… took me out in Grand Rapids, Michigan where we shot the movie. One woman started tearing up, thanked me for starting this website that she can talk to her grandson on.”

He went to Poland to take a picture for his aunt.  He rode his bike with six broken ribs to avoid embarrassment.  He delivered pizzas in Michigan. He’s so awkward it hurts and I want to start showing him some more appreciation around here.

Thoughts?

Of course Doug isn’t creepy! Sometimes 51-year-old men just meet 16-year-old girls on the internet and then marry them in Vegas. That happens, ok? Don’t be naive. Wake up to the real world.

Another reason why Doug isn’t creepy for marrying Courtney Stodden, according to her mother? Girl looks at least 40. She looks like she was rode hard and put up wet, as they say. And I guess Doug doesn’t look quite 50? I don’t know, it’s really hard to follow the thought process of any of these people.

Here’s what Courtney’s mom had to say about the lovely couple:

“He’s not creepy. He is such a great guy, he’s so intelligent. I see why they’re together, he looks like he’s in his early 30s, and Courtney looks like she’s in her late 20s. It’s like they’re talking about someone else when they say bad things about Doug. He’s with my daughter and I wouldn’t want a creepy guy with my daughter. He’s a wonderful, great man.”

Ok, so if we’re using Hutchison logic, and if people always say that I look about 16, then that means it would be totally legit for my 23-year-old self to start seriously pursuing Justin Bieber, right? Our love can dare to speak its name?

LOL, just kidding, everybody, I know about statutory and creepers. I wasn’t born yesterday. Oh, you wily, wily Hutchisons! What will you say next?!

Image courtesy of The Daily Mail

How sassy is Anderson Cooper? So sassy, right? I adore this man, I really do, and I always love it when people tell it like it is, so what choice did I have but to simply rejoice when Anderson didn’t hold back about how ridiculous it is that Chris Brown is acting in a romantic comedy?

Here are Anderson’s true words:

“Ladies and gentlemen, particularly ladies, Chris Brown has been cast in a movie. And not just any movie, it’s a romantic comedy based on a self-help book about relationships. And I, for one, can not imagine why this did not happen sooner because if there’s one thing you can say about Chris Brown, who’s currently on probation for viciously assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna, he just oozes romance.”

Anderson also went on to describe some of Chris Brown’s methods of apologizing by saying ”Check out this love poem he posted on YouTube five months after he repeatedly punched her in the face and threatened to kill her while her mouth was filled with blood.”

Chris Brown’s response?

“Yeah, I guess I did beat my girl pretty bad, huh? LOL!!!”

Ok, come on now, let’s be truthful: who seriously still admires Chris Brown? Besides Justin Bieber, of course.

Images removed by request

How time flies! Little Frances Bean Cobain—beleaguered progeny of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love—is nearly 19 years old now, and she has blossomed into her own woman.

She recently posed for French fashion designer and photographer Hedi Slimane in a series of stirring black-and-white photographs: the effect is really marvelous, all collarbone and shoulders and sinews. Slimane also made heavy-handed use of a lot of “martyrdom” and “lost childhood” imagery (I included a couple here for flavor), but the real star here is Frances Bean.

One caveat: if I could find a way, I would march up to my 19-year-old self and smack that life-ruining cancer stick right out from between her own two lips. Do you hear me, Frances Bean? Fine, I can see that you aren’t listening. Carry on.

Images removed by request

EXCLUSIVE: Jennifer Love Hewitt publicly tonguing WHO!? [Jezebel]

Confirmation that Reese Witherspoon is NOT pregnant. [The Superficial]

Reggie Bush “begging” Kim Kardashian not to get married? [Bossip]

Ew. Is Rihanna dating Joe Jonas? [Starpulse]

Did J Woww get more plastic surgery? [Rumor Fix]

Gerard Butler – shirtless, ripped and … gross. [TMZ]

Mila Kunis just called you fat. [Amy Grindhouse]

Boycotting The Playboy Club? [The Frisky]

Anderson Cooper slams Chris Brown. [Socialite Life]

Christopher Walken looking pretty hot for his age. [Caught on Set]

Bodies change, that’s for sure. [theBERRY]

Jesse Eisenberg has some serious insecurity issues. [Cele|bitchy]

Katie Holmes has the best hair in the world. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Ryan Gosling and … Ryan Gosling? [Pajiba]

Jennifer Grey talks Dirty Dancing remake. [Huff Po]