Readers! You strike me as the type of grown adult women (and men?) who collect dolls. Did I guess right? No?

Anyway, that’s why I’m coming to you for advice. I, too, am the sort who shells out for limited-edition dolls—it’s kind of a celeb idolatry thing, kind of a simulacrum thing, but mostly a leftover from my action-figure-collecting days—but I have to admit, I’m just not sure about this one.

You see, the new-ish Farrah Fawcett Barbie is flying off the shelves. But I kind of have to side with CNN on this—the doll is a teensy bit creepy. But why is it creepy? Is it because of the dead-on likeness (absent her two most salient features)? We’d all like to remember Farrah at her 1976 best, but do we really want her plasticized?

But most importantly, how will Farrah Barbie look next to my Cyndi Lauper Barbie? It’ll look weird, right? Ugh, that’s what I thought.

New, stunning portraits of Gary Oldman! (I know that wasn’t a complete sentence; I just wanted to cut straight to the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.)

Was there ever an actor more capable, more willing, or more splendid than Gary Oldman?

Here are some facts about your very favorite actor (after Alan Rickman, I mean):

Ahem. Gary Oldman, accomplished actor of stage and screen, was a prodigy pianist (and singer!) as a child. As a teenager, he applied for admission to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, but was denied. His seminal portrayal of Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy (1986) marked the fledgling film actor’s first starring screen role. Younger generations, damn them, might know Oldman best as Commissioner Gordon in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, or else they might recognize him as Sirius Black in the Harry Potter movies. Also! Oldman was once married, albeit briefly, to Uma Thurman.

And now, the photos!

Image gallery via ONTD; photographs by London-based portrait photographer Ian Derry.

Yup! Tina Fey gave birth to a baby girl—finally, right?—waaaay back on Wednesday. (Fey’s publicist confirmed the happy news Friday evening.)

Since you were wondering, the new addition is named Penelope Athena. As Greek mythology goes, that is a seriously feminist name.

That said, I almost wish Tina Fey had gone with the name “Artemis” instead, because Artemis was maybe the first girl to ever play hard-to-get. Plus, Tina could nickname the kid “Artie”! Ha ha! (And that, my friends, is why I have no children.)

This is the second daughter for Tina Fey and her husband, composer Jeffrey Richmond.

Ok, you know that usually I adore Olivia Wilde. Or, well, not adore, but I always think that she’s one of the prettiest little starlets out there today. But this is what she chose to wear last night to the Cowboys and Aliens UK premiere. And I’m not going to pretend like it’s ok. I might have if she didn’t have a dumb poof and the most hardcore case of side boob I’ve ever seen, but this? This is very nearly unforgivable.

We’re all familiar with the utter magic of Roseanne, right? Likewise, we’re all familiar with the magic of Roseanne, the most fantastic sitcom that ever was, right? Well, get excited, because we’re about to be presented with the most beautiful gift of our time: a brand new comedy, right on our televisions!

The project, titled Downwardly Mobile, would be a star vehicle for Barr. It’s designed to mine similar territory to her hit 1990s sitcom Roseanne: a close-knit blue-collar family living in tough economic times.

In these trying times, these harrowing days when Dr. Gregory House is not that entertaining and Michael Scott thinks it’s ok to leave Dunder Mifflin, something like a glorious new tale from the master of glorious tales, Roseanne, is precisely what we need.

Would you tune into Downwardly Mobile?

When I think of cast members of Dancing with the Stars, I think of people like The Situation and Bristol Palin and Kirstie Alley, you know, people who either shouldn’t be famous but are or people who used to be famous a long time ago for doing things like starring in movies about babies with John Travolta. Not people like Queen Latifah. But, you know, I can’t always be an overflowing fountain of wisdom and certainty, because it looks like the Queen herself will be joining the cast of the show for its next season.

Other contestants that we know of are Snooki (can’t wait!), Rob Kardashian, and, perhaps Tiffani Thiessen. And those all make sense, I’m fine with those lamers, but Queen Latifah was nominated for an Academy Award. She’s too good for this, right?