Hey, did all you readers outside the U.S. think I was talking about Pippa Middleton‘s vagina? Isn’t that great how words work?
Anyway, I’m not too sure how much you guys know about what kind of work goes into what we do over here, but for every story we write, there are probably about ten more that we read, if not more. So every single day, I go through dozens and dozens of celebrity gossip stories. Hardest life ever, right? Well, yeah, that is right, because you wouldn’t believe how many things I’ve had to read about Pippa Middleton’s ass. I’ve never told you guys anything about it, because, you know, it’s just an ass belonging to the sister-in-law of a prince, and usually Lady Gaga has something dumb to say. There’s always been something better to write about.
So why am I writing about it now? Because I have to get this off my chest, that’s why. And also because important(ish) people are calling out the legitimacy of the ass, so I’m really hoping that this will kill all the lust:
“I’m not convinced that it’s completely natural,” said London spa owner Lesley Reynolds Kahn. “Because I think, if you look at other photos of her and you see her in jeans, she’s got quite a flat bottom. “But I think possibly for the day, for that gorgeous dress, she may have had some sort of pants that gave her a little bit of a lift, or even a little bit of padding.”
We’re done now, ok, world? We’re not ever going to mention this girl’s backside ever again. It’s over. This chapter is finished, and what a thrilling chapter it was.
But still, Charlie didn’t do incredibly well at the Gathering of the Juggalos. His little performance in this video just oozes awkwardness to me – whether that’s from the drugs or the classical indifference bordering on loathing of the Juggalos, who knows – but hey, he did catch the things that were thrown at him, so, God help me, I’d say that he’s still winning*.
What do you guys think: is Charlie still a funny kind of crazy, or is he just completely sad now?
“Class is, you know, not showing your boobs or butt. Anything is classy, as long as you do it with your pinky up; I was taught that . . . When I fall, I put my pinky up, and that just makes my fall classy, ya know?”
You know, with Snooki and J-Woww, it’s like, so obvious how trashy they really are. But as soon as Deena came on the scene, I swear, I just knew that there was something special about her. Like, they just don’t make them like Deena anymore, you know? They really don’t.
Good morning, friends! Did you have a lovely weekend? Did you remember to wish Jenn a happy birthday? I hope so, because you’re all about to get a good hard reminder of your own mortality and your own long, slow shuffle towards death. Mmm, tastes like Monday morning!
See Hilary Duff, or Lizzie McGuire if you’re in your early to mid twenties, is pregnant. She has a small child in her womb that she will give birth to in a matter of months. And that is just bizarre, right?
She made the announcement on her website as a part of a post about her first wedding anniversary, and she even used the sickeningly sweet phrase “and baby makes three.” So what I’m saying is that I think we can just settle into to another adorable celebrity pregnancy, and, if nothing else, you know that baby is going to have some bangin’ teeth.
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