Comedy Central is pulling out all the stops in promoting its upcoming Roast of Charlie Sheen, which is slated to coincidentally air the same evening as the Two and a Half Men season/Kutcher premiere.
Love him or hate him, are you excited to see Sheen get totally zinged on television?
Are you tuning into the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen?
Well, if that fetus is a boy, I’d say there’s a pretty good shot that he’s going to look a little something like that picture above.
A forensic artist named Dr. D’Lynn Waldron made up this little image to show the world what she thinks the male spawn of Beyonce and Jay-Z will look like. Handsome little fella, right? Dr. Waldron imagines that the kid will have “father’s feature’s, mother’s eyes.”
Let’s take this a few steps further, shall we? I think this child will have the artistry and grace of Beyonce with the business sense and … um … another positive quality of Jay-Z. What do you wish for this child?
You guys know that I will take any opportunity to talk about Tupac. He’s my favorite rapper, hands down, and if it weren’t for the fact that he’s been dead for 15 years come September, you’d probably see at least a mention of him every other week or so. He’s magnificent, ok? He’s the Lindsay Lohan of my heart, and I will sing his praises for the rest of my days.
Anyway, you know his friends, The Outlawz? They’re a hip hop group that Tupac founded, and yes, they smoked Tupac’s ashes:
The Outlawz — most famous for the Biggie Smalls diss track “Hit ‘em Up” — said, “Yeah, it’s definitely true” … claiming it all went down at a beach memorial for Pac — and his mom was present at the time.
The rappers claim the idea was inspired by a lyric in one of Tupac’s songs in which he said, “Last wishes n**gas, smoke my ashes.”
So … the Outlawz say they simply followed Pac’s request — explaining, “We twist up some of that great-granddaddy California kush …and mixed the big homie with it … so you know, [Tupac is] flowin’ through our system.”
First of all, poor Tupac, right? Second of all, is this an actual thing that people do in the world? I remember when I wrote that story about Courtney Love snorting Kurt Cobain‘s ashes, I found it incredibly disturbing, and also did you see that episode of My Strange Addiction where the woman was eating her husband’s ashes? Is it too much to ask that we just leave the remains of the dead alone, or at least outside of our bodies?
Maybe I’m just an old biddy, but when I think of celebrity moms, I do not take even a nanosecond to think of Rihanna. She’s too busy making horrendous fashion choices and having horrendous taste in men to focus on a child, and call me old-fashioned, but when you describe your ideal man as “hot and hung” and state that the thing you feel sexiest wearing is chocolate body paint, maybe you have a few more years of party in you before you need to worry about motherhood.
Here are the details from the National Enquirer (I know):
“Rihanna doesn’t see herself having a biological child anytime soon because she doesn’t have a man in her life – plus, after all the drama with Chris Brown, she’s suspicious of guys.
“But mainly, she says, she needs to make her life less about her and more about someone else.
“She’s getting enthusiastic support from mentor Jay-Z and wife Beyonce– and asked them to be godparents!”
Said the source: “This is about Rihanna getting out from under herself and making a difference in the world – starting with one child!”
Hopefully this is just another Enquirer story with no truth behind it, because Rihanna with a child? That’s just plain unnerving, don’t you think?
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